Hot cheetos n' dubstep.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Livin' on High Ave.
Posts: 1
Hot cheetos n' dubstep.
[READ MY 'ABOUT ME' FOR PROPER INTRO]
Currently I'm on a 9 month crystal meth binge. I was almost a month clean, then called myself "stressing out" and I ended up giving in and using. 3 weeks have passed and I'm already using 3-5 days a week. I haven't slept hardly any since Wednesday, and just now was able to make myself eat. I can't do this anymore. And even as I type this it's all I can think about. I don't know how I made it these last 8 months, but I know without a doubt if I don't stop now I won't make it another 3. Being able to use around people and them be completely clueless is what's made my addiction completely spiral. Why don't I say something? Because the one's who should care don't and the one who does would probably leave me, after everything I've already put them through. I know, typical. I know what I need to do, but at this point I feel like I'll lose everything I have, so I'm gonna have to suck it up and figure out how to deal with this on my own. I've honestly never felt so lost and confused... I never want to feel like this again. Empty.
Currently I'm on a 9 month crystal meth binge. I was almost a month clean, then called myself "stressing out" and I ended up giving in and using. 3 weeks have passed and I'm already using 3-5 days a week. I haven't slept hardly any since Wednesday, and just now was able to make myself eat. I can't do this anymore. And even as I type this it's all I can think about. I don't know how I made it these last 8 months, but I know without a doubt if I don't stop now I won't make it another 3. Being able to use around people and them be completely clueless is what's made my addiction completely spiral. Why don't I say something? Because the one's who should care don't and the one who does would probably leave me, after everything I've already put them through. I know, typical. I know what I need to do, but at this point I feel like I'll lose everything I have, so I'm gonna have to suck it up and figure out how to deal with this on my own. I've honestly never felt so lost and confused... I never want to feel like this again. Empty.
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
Agreed with Trachemys... I've tried to quit drinking for other people before. Not because they asked me to or anything, but out of my own desire to prove myself to them/ give them the friend/daughter/relative they deserve/ stop embarrassing myself. I don't know why really but it never worked. I guess maybe because it felt like something I could rebel against, still.
I quit successfully when I realized that I wanted it for myself and would do it even if no one ever noticed or cared.
I quit successfully when I realized that I wanted it for myself and would do it even if no one ever noticed or cared.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by GardenGrove 
[READ MY 'ABOUT ME' FOR PROPER INTRO]
Currently I'm on a 9 month crystal meth binge. I was almost a month clean, then called myself "stressing out" and I ended up giving in and using. 3 weeks have passed and I'm already using 3-5 days a week. I haven't slept hardly any since Wednesday, and just now was able to make myself eat. I can't do this anymore. And even as I type this it's all I can think about. I don't know how I made it these last 8 months, but I know without a doubt if I don't stop now I won't make it another 3. Being able to use around people and them be completely clueless is what's made my addiction completely spiral. Why don't I say something? Because the one's who should care don't and the one who does would probably leave me, after everything I've already put them through. I know, typical. I know what I need to do, but at this point I feel like I'll lose everything I have, so I'm gonna have to suck it up and figure out how to deal with this on my own. I've honestly never felt so lost and confused... I never want to feel like this again. Empty.
Currently I'm on a 9 month crystal meth binge. I was almost a month clean, then called myself "stressing out" and I ended up giving in and using. 3 weeks have passed and I'm already using 3-5 days a week. I haven't slept hardly any since Wednesday, and just now was able to make myself eat. I can't do this anymore. And even as I type this it's all I can think about. I don't know how I made it these last 8 months, but I know without a doubt if I don't stop now I won't make it another 3. Being able to use around people and them be completely clueless is what's made my addiction completely spiral. Why don't I say something? Because the one's who should care don't and the one who does would probably leave me, after everything I've already put them through. I know, typical. I know what I need to do, but at this point I feel like I'll lose everything I have, so I'm gonna have to suck it up and figure out how to deal with this on my own. I've honestly never felt so lost and confused... I never want to feel like this again. Empty.
I couldn't think/talk myself out of the mess that I had thought/talked myself into.... I needed the 12 Steps
All the best.
Bob R
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Athens, Georgia
Posts: 962
Garden Grove,
Your member info says you're 'Living on High Avenue'. It sounds like you may be spinning out of control and may soon be losing your cool digs. You said you 'know what you need to do' but you also said you 'honestly never felt so lost and confused... I never want to feel like this again. Empty', plus you said you feel 'like you will lose everything'.
It is only my opinion and feedback, and your life is certainly your own to choose your own actions, but it appears to me that your statements reflect a lot of conflicts and inconsistencies. Continued drug usage can ONLY continue to impair your thoughts and actions. If you want to keep from losing everything, I suggest going into detox immediately. It is unlikely that people around you don't at least suspect something is not right with 'Garden Grove'. It was certainly that way for me. I didn't think the people at work and those around me could tell I was drinking, but after I 'crashed and burned', I heard a lot about how much people knew 'something' must be wrong with RDB, and that must be why he is always f'ed up.
I would certainly like to hear about you getting on a solid, clean & sober path, and see future posts from you as you become more and more sound-minded. I am afraid if you don't get into detox soon, the outcome will go downhill, which as you acknowledged is 'Typical'.
Your member info says you're 'Living on High Avenue'. It sounds like you may be spinning out of control and may soon be losing your cool digs. You said you 'know what you need to do' but you also said you 'honestly never felt so lost and confused... I never want to feel like this again. Empty', plus you said you feel 'like you will lose everything'.
It is only my opinion and feedback, and your life is certainly your own to choose your own actions, but it appears to me that your statements reflect a lot of conflicts and inconsistencies. Continued drug usage can ONLY continue to impair your thoughts and actions. If you want to keep from losing everything, I suggest going into detox immediately. It is unlikely that people around you don't at least suspect something is not right with 'Garden Grove'. It was certainly that way for me. I didn't think the people at work and those around me could tell I was drinking, but after I 'crashed and burned', I heard a lot about how much people knew 'something' must be wrong with RDB, and that must be why he is always f'ed up.
I would certainly like to hear about you getting on a solid, clean & sober path, and see future posts from you as you become more and more sound-minded. I am afraid if you don't get into detox soon, the outcome will go downhill, which as you acknowledged is 'Typical'.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: NE Wisconsin USA
Posts: 6,223
Your recovery when you decide is based solely on your willingness to get clean. It is nobody's responsibility, supportive or not, to take care of you, to make the decision for you. One of the keys to NA is addicts helping addicts. As you already stated you can't do it on your own.
I wish you the best, and hope that you get medical treatment above all else first. From your Intro and post I don't think you know what to do. Coming off meth without help is extremely dangerous. Please for your sake let professionals help you.
I wish you the best, and hope that you get medical treatment above all else first. From your Intro and post I don't think you know what to do. Coming off meth without help is extremely dangerous. Please for your sake let professionals help you.
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