I know I can't have just one, but why do I still try?
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 280
I know I can't have just one, but why do I still try?
Last night I did something stupid. My brother in law had stayed over at our house the night before and had left a bottle with a a few shots of whiskey in it. I looked at the bottle, determined I was having a bad day, and drank the few shots that were in there. I thought since there was only a little in there, I'd just have the couple of shots and call it good.
DID NOT WORK OUT THAT WAY, I took the shots, got the craziest obsessive urge to go get more liquor. Went to the store, bought a pint of cheapy whiskey, and downed it in about 4 hours.
Unreal, I don't even remember why I took the shots in the first place. I just remember thinking that its safe, because I don't feel like leaving the house, and there are only a few shots left in the bottle, and other than a couple of slip ups, I haven't been drinking for 3 weeks.
Is there a reason that we keep trying to have just one or two, even though we know that we won't stop there?
DID NOT WORK OUT THAT WAY, I took the shots, got the craziest obsessive urge to go get more liquor. Went to the store, bought a pint of cheapy whiskey, and downed it in about 4 hours.
Unreal, I don't even remember why I took the shots in the first place. I just remember thinking that its safe, because I don't feel like leaving the house, and there are only a few shots left in the bottle, and other than a couple of slip ups, I haven't been drinking for 3 weeks.
Is there a reason that we keep trying to have just one or two, even though we know that we won't stop there?
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 762
Hi Dib,
of course human beings want more of what makes them feel good, and when I say good, I mean initially, as that feeling doesn't last for long does it...but by the time you realise it is too late.
It's like chocoholics - they sometimes eat tons and tons of chocolate until they are physically sick.
Addiction is a difficult but not impossible thing to conquer.
I am sure you will get there in time.
of course human beings want more of what makes them feel good, and when I say good, I mean initially, as that feeling doesn't last for long does it...but by the time you realise it is too late.
It's like chocoholics - they sometimes eat tons and tons of chocolate until they are physically sick.
Addiction is a difficult but not impossible thing to conquer.
I am sure you will get there in time.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 280
The part that frustrates me, is that I know that one drink will make me want to drink another. But I still periodically try to have just one or two... Its like I know that I have this addiction, but for some reason I have to keep testing it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 280
Just thought of this after post that last statement.
Perhaps subconciously I know I'm going to fail, and if I try and fail, I'll get wicked drunk, which gives my addiction what it wants...
I don't know... I'm so annoyed with myself and it right now.
Perhaps subconciously I know I'm going to fail, and if I try and fail, I'll get wicked drunk, which gives my addiction what it wants...
I don't know... I'm so annoyed with myself and it right now.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
one is just one too many
Originally Posted by Dib42 
DID NOT WORK OUT THAT WAY, I took the shots, got the craziest obsessive urge to go get more liquor. Went to the store, bought a pint of cheapy whiskey, and downed it in about 4 hours.
a very common story told above
I went to that same place so many times
many of my friends who were sober returned to the drink as I did
only to be found dead
yes it truly can happen if one is alcoholic such as me
sometimes that is exactly what it takes
returning to the bottle over and over again
until finally we realize
one is just one too many
good luck
from
onehigherpower
I went to that same place so many times
many of my friends who were sober returned to the drink as I did
only to be found dead
yes it truly can happen if one is alcoholic such as me
sometimes that is exactly what it takes
returning to the bottle over and over again
until finally we realize
one is just one too many
good luck
from
onehigherpower
AA member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: United Kingdom.
Posts: 3,007
Sorry you are struggling dib.
It helped me to accept that it was the first drink that did the damage,once I had one all bets were off as to what would happen.
When I thought I was only giving up one drink it became easier,I had never drank just one,I didnt see the point.
Stick with it,you will get there. I wish you well.
It helped me to accept that it was the first drink that did the damage,once I had one all bets were off as to what would happen.
When I thought I was only giving up one drink it became easier,I had never drank just one,I didnt see the point.
Stick with it,you will get there. I wish you well.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 157
Originally Posted by Dib42
Last night I did something stupid. My brother in law had stayed over at our house the night before and had left a bottle with a a few shots of whiskey in it. I looked at the bottle, determined I was having a bad day, and drank the few shots that were in there. I thought since there was only a little in there, I'd just have the couple of shots and call it good.
DID NOT WORK OUT THAT WAY, I took the shots, got the craziest obsessive urge to go get more liquor. Went to the store, bought a pint of cheapy whiskey, and downed it in about 4 hours.
Unreal, I don't even remember why I took the shots in the first place. I just remember thinking that its safe, because I don't feel like leaving the house, and there are only a few shots left in the bottle, and other than a couple of slip ups, I haven't been drinking for 3 weeks.
Is there a reason that we keep trying to have just one or two, even though we know that we won't stop there?
DID NOT WORK OUT THAT WAY, I took the shots, got the craziest obsessive urge to go get more liquor. Went to the store, bought a pint of cheapy whiskey, and downed it in about 4 hours.
Unreal, I don't even remember why I took the shots in the first place. I just remember thinking that its safe, because I don't feel like leaving the house, and there are only a few shots left in the bottle, and other than a couple of slip ups, I haven't been drinking for 3 weeks.
Is there a reason that we keep trying to have just one or two, even though we know that we won't stop there?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 280
Originally Posted by JCMalta
Dib you can start over, the 1st day is not the most pleasant one, but it will be over soon, tomorrow will be better and after tomorrow will be even better. If you did it for 3 weeks you can do it again. 
My view of alcohol is definately changing, At first I was sad I was giving it up, but was resigned to the fact that I can't drink like normal people. Now I despise the stuff, I don't miss it, I don't want to drink even just one, I hate alcohol, I hate being drunk, I hate the hangover, I hate the feeling of wanting more... I hate nearly everything about it.
But . . . for some reason . . . I still tried to have "just a couple."
I didn't even think I wanted to have any.... it was just there, and looked safe, so I took it.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,062
"When I look back at my 13 years of sobriety followed by my eight year relapse, I often wonder why it took me so long to stop considering that EVERY time I drank it got worse. During my relapse stage I crashed my car, had multiple hospital visits, got divorced, and started thinking about suicide. And I kept drinking. Why? Because I am an alcoholic...a really really good alcoholic. If you are lucky and keep breathing, you will some day realize that you need to stop drinking. Alcoholics CANNOT CANNOT CANNOT control their drinking and have "a couple". I hope you never have to have "a couple" again.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Alabama
Posts: 239
Sorry your struggling Dibs, I did the revolving door, I've had long periods of sobriety (2 years and 18 months respectively), then thought I could moderate.
This time (going on 6 months sober), I have come to a very simple conclusion to a very complex problem - I can never drink again. For me, the only reason I drank was to medicate, no other reason.
I'm going to a fancy dinner tonight for a group my sister-in-law belongs to. The beer will be flowing like wine (to steal a line from "Dumb and Dumber"), but I know I can't have any, and I'm ok with that. I'm going to eat some good food and dance badly with my wife, and wake up tomorrow morning satisfied!
BTW, I only know a few people who drink "normally". I would say the majority of people I know drink to get drunk, not to enjoy a beer or glass of wine with dinner.
Hang in there, your going to have to tell your AV (alcoholic voice) goodbye.
Toss
This time (going on 6 months sober), I have come to a very simple conclusion to a very complex problem - I can never drink again. For me, the only reason I drank was to medicate, no other reason.
I'm going to a fancy dinner tonight for a group my sister-in-law belongs to. The beer will be flowing like wine (to steal a line from "Dumb and Dumber"), but I know I can't have any, and I'm ok with that. I'm going to eat some good food and dance badly with my wife, and wake up tomorrow morning satisfied!
BTW, I only know a few people who drink "normally". I would say the majority of people I know drink to get drunk, not to enjoy a beer or glass of wine with dinner.
Hang in there, your going to have to tell your AV (alcoholic voice) goodbye.
Toss
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Southern Spain
Posts: 355
You have pretty much perfectly described the state of insanity which occurs in an alcoholics mind before taking the first drink. I say insanity because when analyzed in the cold light of day that is exactly what it is. It's common to us all I'm afraid. It's part of the alcoholic character. The trick is never to be fooled in to thinking that we can have a drink safely. To fully accept that we are not like other people with regards to alcohol.
It has taken me many years of experimenting with alcohol to finally realize this simple fact. And I hope that I never forget it again.
It has taken me many years of experimenting with alcohol to finally realize this simple fact. And I hope that I never forget it again.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,711
I knew I was an alcoholic when I simply kept drinking despite the consequences. If a person did to me what alcohol did I would've kicked them out of my life long ago! But I'm an alcoholic & it's my nature to drink. Until I found a program that helps me to stay sober, accepted I was truly powerless & quite simply, just had enough.
I don't want one or two, I want the whole bottle. Therefore, it's best to stay away completely.
I don't want one or two, I want the whole bottle. Therefore, it's best to stay away completely.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,760
You will continue to drink because drinking is still an option at this point. When you want to be sober more than you want to drink then you'll stay sober, at least, that's how it was for me.
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: CAPE COD, MA
Posts: 1,020
Originally Posted by Dib42
Is there a reason that we keep trying to have just one or two, even though we know that we won't stop there?
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