highs and lows
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 263
highs and lows
So I signed on this evening and was surprised but...
One of the things about dealing with this is my emotional roller coaster. Funny, when I was drinking I was never happy, but neither was I truly depressed. I just lived in this hopeless haze. But what this meant for me was that my emotional base line was very very constant. I was constantly feeling somewhat lousy but rarely did I have highs and lows.
For me (again as some of you know I am still fighting this thing tooth and nail and have never gotten what most would call serious sobriety going) one of the remarkable things is the highs and lows my emotions take when I'm sober. It is crushing and uplifting at the same time. But man is it a bummer when I hit those lows, I feel like I will never beat this. I feel the teeth of mortality and life seems to keep flowing around me while I stand still. Its pretty overwhelming and I have a tough time dealing with it.
Anyway on another note, on the top of the most recent posts was a post of mine concerning some topics from 2011. (mods I am not trying to reignite the post simply trying to share the emotional impact seeing it again had on me). At the time I had 4 days sober and had been struggling to get sober and hadn't strung together more than 2 weeks. It was humbling and fairly crushing to be here 2 years later in basically the same spot. I am 2 weeks as of tomorrow. This year has had some pretty good runs but still it is a battle that I haven't come close to winning.
Anyway hope everyone else is doing well today. Those who are successfully winning this thing, kudos and thank you for being patient with those like me who just can't seem to get it.
One of the things about dealing with this is my emotional roller coaster. Funny, when I was drinking I was never happy, but neither was I truly depressed. I just lived in this hopeless haze. But what this meant for me was that my emotional base line was very very constant. I was constantly feeling somewhat lousy but rarely did I have highs and lows.
For me (again as some of you know I am still fighting this thing tooth and nail and have never gotten what most would call serious sobriety going) one of the remarkable things is the highs and lows my emotions take when I'm sober. It is crushing and uplifting at the same time. But man is it a bummer when I hit those lows, I feel like I will never beat this. I feel the teeth of mortality and life seems to keep flowing around me while I stand still. Its pretty overwhelming and I have a tough time dealing with it.
Anyway on another note, on the top of the most recent posts was a post of mine concerning some topics from 2011. (mods I am not trying to reignite the post simply trying to share the emotional impact seeing it again had on me). At the time I had 4 days sober and had been struggling to get sober and hadn't strung together more than 2 weeks. It was humbling and fairly crushing to be here 2 years later in basically the same spot. I am 2 weeks as of tomorrow. This year has had some pretty good runs but still it is a battle that I haven't come close to winning.
Anyway hope everyone else is doing well today. Those who are successfully winning this thing, kudos and thank you for being patient with those like me who just can't seem to get it.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,643
For me, it helped to educate myself as to “why” my cravings were able to overrule my conscious decision to stop drinking. If you haven’t watched Pleasures Unwoven yet, I suggest you start there. It is a documentary that explains the physical alterations to the brain resulting from alcohol/drug abuse. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TreXcSYlJ9E. Next, read about the kindling effect of multiple periods of abstinence and relapse, the following SR thread is a good resource - http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...lly-again.html. Then read about post-acute withdrawal syndrome which is a series of symptoms commonly experienced in alcohol withdrawal - Post-Acute Withdrawal Symptoms - Relapse Prevention Strategies. A Google search will provide you with much more information.
While online and/or face-to-face meetings and support are important components in recovery, understanding what you may experience during the first two years of recovery may help you be better prepared to take the necessary action to prevent a relapse. The educational benefit derived from these topics was the enlightenment as to why I seemed to lack the self-discipline and willpower to succeed in previous attempts at sobriety.
While online and/or face-to-face meetings and support are important components in recovery, understanding what you may experience during the first two years of recovery may help you be better prepared to take the necessary action to prevent a relapse. The educational benefit derived from these topics was the enlightenment as to why I seemed to lack the self-discipline and willpower to succeed in previous attempts at sobriety.
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