"I can't" vs. "I can but choose not to"
Today's Muse
Join Date: May 2007
Location: West end
Posts: 1,081
I don't drink because I can't. Today, drinking is a choice. There was a time I had lost my choice to drink. I couldn't drink and I couldn't NOT drink. I was addicted. I don't view the fact that I can't drink as deprivation or as a negative. I think of it as very positive. My sobriety shows me that I can NOT drink. That takes time through recovery, though.
The can't part, for me, comes from to drink is to die. Living is a positive. Not drinking alcohol is choosing the right beverage. That's all it really is, not that negative in the big scheme of things. Sure, I had to change my way of thinking, absolutely. You are on the right track by challenging your old way of thinking and redirecting it in a different direction. That is wonderful.
I believe the reason why many of us relapse is because we haven't done enough to arm ourselves against drinking. Abstaining for any length of time doesn't change the fact that we can't drink. Many of us fall into the trap of thinking that with abstinence comes this magical ability to control things, it will be different this time around, not true. So, not true.
Education, support, and an arsenal of tools are key. Some of us can stop with the help of a forum, some of us need much more than that. We all are very much alike, but very different at the same time. Keep up the good work and commitment. I'm glad to see you are still here fighting the good fight to stay sober and rethinking your old thinking process. We all know that our thinking is what got us in trouble in the first place.
The can't part, for me, comes from to drink is to die. Living is a positive. Not drinking alcohol is choosing the right beverage. That's all it really is, not that negative in the big scheme of things. Sure, I had to change my way of thinking, absolutely. You are on the right track by challenging your old way of thinking and redirecting it in a different direction. That is wonderful.
I believe the reason why many of us relapse is because we haven't done enough to arm ourselves against drinking. Abstaining for any length of time doesn't change the fact that we can't drink. Many of us fall into the trap of thinking that with abstinence comes this magical ability to control things, it will be different this time around, not true. So, not true.
Education, support, and an arsenal of tools are key. Some of us can stop with the help of a forum, some of us need much more than that. We all are very much alike, but very different at the same time. Keep up the good work and commitment. I'm glad to see you are still here fighting the good fight to stay sober and rethinking your old thinking process. We all know that our thinking is what got us in trouble in the first place.
voices ca**y
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: St. Paul Minnesota
Posts: 4,359
"I don't drink because I can't. Today, drinking is a choice. There was a time I had lost my choice to drink. I couldn't drink and I couldn't NOT drink."
That describes me perfectly Losingmymisery. When I was drinking I had no choice. Even though I was suffering it didn't occur to me to just get up and walk away. The more I drank the more I wanted. Only by telling myself "I just can't do this anymore" did I have the ability to choose. I could go to the liquor store right now if I choose. That will be the last choice I get to have though because once it gets ahold of me it so hard to get free.
That describes me perfectly Losingmymisery. When I was drinking I had no choice. Even though I was suffering it didn't occur to me to just get up and walk away. The more I drank the more I wanted. Only by telling myself "I just can't do this anymore" did I have the ability to choose. I could go to the liquor store right now if I choose. That will be the last choice I get to have though because once it gets ahold of me it so hard to get free.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,126
Back in the day (waaaaay back), I had an English teach who was big on grammar and semantics. Even today, he would still wrap my knuckles if I said solething like "I can't drink." He's say something like, "Can is 'to be able to' and you certainly are 'able' to drink tho perhaps not without problems. Therefore, you should not drink; you will not drink."
Therefore, in honor of Mr Woods............: Yes, I 'can' drink, but I choose not to drink; I will not drink.
(o:
NoelleR
Therefore, in honor of Mr Woods............: Yes, I 'can' drink, but I choose not to drink; I will not drink.
(o:
NoelleR
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