Starting again
 

Hello. I have been drinking way too much for too long now. I used to enjoy drinking in the garden on summer evenings, back then half a bottle of wine. That was 5 years ago. Today it is two bottles and I will even sit outside in the rain so I can get my alcohol and cigarette fix. Everytime I try to quit I end up feeling very low and its almost as if I drink as I cannot deal with my emotions. It stops me thinking. I suffer from depression and I am medicated for that but holding down two jobs, doing a PhD whilst being a single mum to 3 teenager takes its toll.

I hope that by being here this will be my first sober day and the first step to getting my life back on track. I do function but I feel under par all the time, and I have put on so much weight and feel uncomfortable and bloated all the time. Its good to be here.:thanks

Welcome, it's good to have you here.

There are many ways people use to cope when they stop drinking. Read around here on the forums and find the one that will work for you.

Best of Luck!

Welcome! You can do it. I'm only a little bit short of two months in and already I'm seeing major pay offs. I'm the same as you... I drank to avoid my feelings. And that is definitely something I am now learning... how do I deal with feelings without alcohol?... but I find so far that really none of the feelings are as bad as the shame and the physical destruction I was experiencing from alcohol. I'm getting better at just letting myself be down sometimes, without trying to "fix" it... and I find I recover from those negative emotions much faster than it would take me to get drunk, sleep it off, and wade through the hangover.

I know you can do it too. Welcome!

its almost as if I drink as I cannot deal with my emotions

Ditto, that is exactly why I drank, and why at the age of 12 I latched onto alcohol as though it were my saving grace. Only for it to finally punch me into submission many years later. Also like you my problem progressed in quantity and strength. If you want to knock it on the head for once and for all stay with this forum. There's great support to be found here. Get in the center of the lifeboat and hunker down.