First Post
 

This is my first time really talking/expressing about the issues I deal with on a day to day basis. My mother is an alcoholic. In the beginning of last year it began to get bad, she would come home from work, go in the backyard and drink either a bottle of wine or several beers on a regular basis. I wont say my age, but i am young and this is my struggle with an alcoholic mom... Things started getting worse and worse in May/June, she would get so drunk in front of my little brother and I and it was so embarrssing. I just didnt get it, why couldnt she be normal and just have 1 drink? Sometimes she would go out, and come home completly wasted falling all over the place, slurring her words and just so drunk. It began getting progressivly worse, she would tell us she didnt have a problem and its okay for her to have a few beers when she wanted to. My brother and I would try and hide the alcohol from her so she wouldnt get drunk but she would get really mad and demand for it back. There was a party she went to on her birthday at an old friends house, my brother and I stayed home while she was at the party untill 3 am. She had fallen and had a huge bruise all over her arm from being drunk and not being able to walk properly. Along with that, she brought some weed home from the party and was smoking it in the backyard in broad daylight. When i walked outside and saw her doing that, i was so upset, ran away crying as she started saying "OH im smoking it because im in pain" and all these other dumb excuses. After this, she would continue to drink, and drink and spend tons of money on alcohol not caring how it affected me. Then around mid-august, she went out with her friends to a party as usual and had an accident. She was so drunk that she fell getting into the cab and got a huge black eye and bruised shin. The next day, she slept in untill around 1 in the afternoon. Then after i heard her crying and talking to my dad, she came out of her bedroom and told my brother and I she was going to rehab. She was really embarrassed and upset about everything she had done and decided she needed to go. A month went by and she was home from rehab. Life was good. Not having to worry about a drunk mom was just so nice. About 3 months later...it all ended. I found her in the backyard drinking a beer, i was really upset but she assured me it was only 1 drink and she was fine. ANd then came christmas, we were at my aunties house on christmas eve having fun with the family, and she got drunk. That completly ruined our christmas. We thought that everything was falling back into its old ways. What was even the point of rehab, shes just the same now i thought. Ever since then, shes gotten drunk and come home unable to walk and completly trashed about 5 times and continues to hid drinking about 3 times a week i'd say. SHe goes to AA probably once a week, but i dont think its helping becuase shes still drinking. She tells me that its okay for her to have a drink or 2, its like she thinks shes different from all the other alcoholics or something. i always tell her, you either drink or you dont. theres no "i can have a few beers". Being sober means no alcohol at all, that was the point of rehab. its really starting to affect me, i dont have anyone to talk to about this. im too embarrassed to tell any friends, and i get really angry and mad about it because nothing i say will make her change. ITs been too many times having her crying to me saying" im so sorry i'll never do this to you again" and blah blah blah. i dont even want to hear it anymore. Shes an amazing mom, but the drinking is affecting me more than she knows it.

As a mom reading your words brought tears to my eyes, and guilt. I have definitely drank in front if my children, and although I haven't been drunk in front if them, I know I have sacrificed time I could have spent with them.

You will find lots of support in the families and friends section. Also, I do not know how old you are, but you were very brave to post this. You may help other mom's struggling, and hopefully your mom will find the support she needs to stop drinking.

I also wondered about your age - and feel that you're a pretty brave young adult for posting this. There are many folks here to talk to and they are very supportive. Thank you for sharing your story.

Al Anon or Alateen might help you!

It's online, too!

Welcome and please use this great site to learn as much as you can and to ask for info etc.

I'm gonna make an idea, (and please don't do this until more people comment, I could be totally out in left field here), but why not just print off your message you posted here (include the responses if you see fit) and show her it?

I'm not a parent, but I read your words and when I was a kid, I can totally relate, except for my dad was the alkie. Any parent reading a post like yours about them, from their child simply has to get it through their head, I HAVE TO QUIT DRINKING - THERE IS NO OPTION!

But just in case, hold off on doing anything. I am curious if the other people think it's a bad idea "to interventiony" etc.

Pretty sure this is a case for the wise folks at the Friends & Family section. I read that forum often and they have a really good insight into what it's like to live with alcoholics. Have you checked out that forum OP? If not, perhaps you should re-post this there - I KNOW the feedback would be very helpful. Again, best of luck!

Thank you for your kind words, i do appreciate it. Its nice to know that someone can understand me

-Jordyne

I was impressed with your mature outlook and concern about your mother. It touched me.
If you can take some of the suggestions here and see if they apply or if you can use them to help you...especially if you can get to an al-anon or al-ateen meeting, you would find others who may be in the same situation. I hope you can learn how to deal with such a difficult problem and at the same time, take care of yourself. God Bless You Jordyne...(I have a daughter named Jordan--she is my rock.)