Kys

And I wasted a night away.

Nonsensical

Get up. Dust off. Begin again. You know you want to.

I want you to, and I bet I'm not the only one here who will post it.

shauninspain

Can you identify the triggers that made you drink? If you can spend some time walking yourself through the build up to drinking you will be able to know yourself better and thus prevent the same thing happening again. Were you hungry, angry, lonely or tired. Were resentments part of the issue. Maybe you were convincing yourself that you could only have the one. Search deep for the answers.

One of my triggers is anger, and another is hurt pride. Today, I felt myself getting quite angry and my pride was being hurt. Fortunately, I noticed what was going on and despite everything I was able to remain calm and just get though the situation. I kept telling myself that the situation will pass, and sure enough it did. I walked past the bars on the way home, without a thought of chemically calming myself down, because, for a change, I didn't need to be calmed down!

MeSoSober

Seconded. To prevent it from happening again, it only makes sense to think hard about why you did it the last time.

Welcome back though! :-)

ScottFromWI

Sorry to hear that Kys. But kudos for coming back and realizing your mistake. Most of us have relapsed, and more than once. Learn from it and figure out how to prevent it next time.

Coldfusion

You are on the brink of wasting a whole life away.

We all get to that point where we know we need to quit, because things are getting scary and it's hard to quit. When it's hard to quit, it's time to quit.

What I did was saw a doctor, and was honest and committed to quitting. I got a low-dose prescription to help me through the first few weeks, and I didn't ask for more. 22 weeks later, with a lot of support from meetings and SR, I am still sober.

Jeni26

Slips happen, it happened to me.

What is important is what you do now. Don't let this slide into a full relapse.

You can do this x

SASA

I know it seems to be discouraging, however, learn from it. What can you do different this time. Secondly be gentle with yourself, learn from it, but don't beat yourself up! Just try again. The addiction only gets you when you stop trying to quit!

Kys

So much needed support - I will take all of this with me tomorrow.

None of your posts go wasted. I read them over.

Thank you, and until tomorrow.

least

You know what to do now - start over fresh. Never stop trying. You can do this!

Kys

Didn't drink tonight! Challenging though, see below.

Can anyone tell me if they can relate to this - seems I have an obsessive mind, like I feel I've drunk one night so I need to start all over again. And so given I'm starting all over again I might as well start on X day as I've got nothing on or no social challenges etc starting from that X day. And sometimes even just starting on a Monday enters my mind as being a great idea. Of course I'd drink on the Monday, and so convince myself the next Monday will be the start. Repeat.

Elisabeth888

The most important thing is that you not continue to drink, dust yourself off and don't beat yourself up! You are alive and you can start again!!!

duane1

Sounds like what kept me a week away from quitting for years.

FamilyMan2153

Yes yes Kys!! I think that rhymes?? I had those "obsessive" thoughts all the time. That is your disease talking to you. It is very cunning and smart and can talk us into all kinds of stuff we would never do. YOU know you have to quit. Listen to yourself and not the disease.

Nonsensical

I have a mind like that, too. I don't call it obsessive, though. I call it addicted to alcohol.

My addicted mind has 2 parts;

• the part that contains my personality, wisdom, knowledge, judgment and inhibitions
• the part that is addicted to alcohol

That second part craves alcohol. Oh, how it craves it! I wish I could make it stop, but I can't. The only thing that can make it stop craving is persistent abstinence from alcohol. Starving it until it forgets to crave. Forgets what it was craving. That will be months or years from now.

In the meantime I have to rely on that first part of my brain to exercise top-down executive control over that begging, whining, negotiating, obsessing, threatening, insulting, alcohol-craving lab rat who wants me to press the lever for it just one more time. Just until Monday.

There's a better way. let's do this!

Kys

Please and thank you.

I read all of your messages, over. I will always check in even if just reading. I may not write always, but I'm definitely here. You guys are life savers. I'm thankful that you stick with me.

Can't believe I went five days! And that was from Thurs to Tues but seems like a different life.

Anna

Good for you, Kys!

I had a lot of trouble with obsessive thoughts too. I learned from reading here at SR that thoughts are just thoughts. They don't control you. You can learn to feel them and let them go.

I'm glad you're finding support here.

Zebra1275

And I wasted a night away.

Alcoholism is progressive and the recovery periods lengthen. If I drink on a Friday night I need to make sure I have nothing scheduled until Tuesday because 1 drink = a 3 day bender.

Dave42001

Get back in the saddle.. You can do it.. Don't look to far in the future.. Take it one day at a time.. Wishing you the best!!