Trying to hold on
 

Trying everything I can to hold on. I have 8 days.
Exercised today at gym.
Yard work.
Ate lunch. Then a chocolate Easter bunny.
Really tired and wanting a damn drink.
Just getting it out by writing this. Saying this.
So simple: don't drink.
I remember the first month from last year.
Hard.
I made it though and it got easier.
I just wish this was not a struggle.
It's so frustrating and it's all on the inside.
Thx for letting me express myself.

That's why we're all here. To try and get through this and be better people. Strive on.

Admit to yourself that yes you do want a drink but acknowledge that the only reason you want that drink is because your addictive voice is trying to overrule your conscious decision not to drink. Make a list, pros vs. cons. Write the reason why you chose to pursue the path of recovery. Breathe deep, exhale slowly. Yes your AV is screaming for a drink, but it has no concern for the physical and mental malady that will follow. Your AV is selfish and its only desire is to seek that “instant relief” feeling that it has come to view as pleasure. Watch this clip for an explanation of why your mind seems to be undermining your will - Pleasure Unwoven Full Movie Documentary by Kevin McCauley - YouTube

After viewing the clip, treat that AV as a naughty child screaming for candy; tell it NO, send it to its room and move on. YOU CAN DO THIS!!

I couldn't fight and try to hold on .. I surrendered to AA.

I wish you the best.

Bob R