TimeOuttaMind

"I was tempted,
by an early age I found
I like drinking
and I never turned it down
"Choices" George Jones



Hello everybody. I am so glad to be here. I have been looking for a place/forum like this my whole life I reckon! I am very happy to have found a place with other folks who have addictions like myself. I do not have anybody around that can relate to my problem. Everyone close to me says that I am fine and do not have a problem, but I KNOW that I do.

I have been drinking since I was 20 (I am 33 now). I am a functioning alcoholic, in every since of phrase.



I can tell that I am absolutely ready to never taste another drop of alcohol. It has costs me money, my freedom, relationships, and honor. I thought it made me different to be out of control, living on the edge, but all it did was make me a normal drunkard. Big deal.

I quit smoking cigarettes after 16 years only six months ago. *pat on back*
And have really over the last few years, have known I am ready to quit drinking all together.

The reason people close to me say I am overstating it when I call myself an alcoholic, is I go weeks, months, without a drink. But when I do drink, I drink myself into oblivion. Blackout. Scary.

Everything in my life is going really good. I have very little to complain about, and cannot for the life of me understand why I can't control this....

I woke up 2 days ago after a long long night of drinking, with feelings of guilt and shame. So much guilt. I have a lot to lose, and I don't want to let people down.

It just feels freeing to actually type out the sentence. I AM AN ALCOHOLIC.
haha. This feels so good!! Am I growing up finally???

Thanks for reading. I wish I could write out my story as well as others I have seen here. I just am blessed to be here today. I know it will be a battle for the rest of my life, but I am ready for war! I am alive and sober. Pray for me, please.

coraltint

Welcome, Time....this is a great community you've found.

I have spent some sober (and a while back, drunk) time in Tennessee. Great state you've got there.

Dee74

Welcome to SR TimeOuttaMind

D

least

to the family! I'm glad you joined us.

instant

Glad you are here amongst friends TOM

dabrewsky

feel at home and browse through a lot of recovery experience, strength and hope in the rooms..

TimeOuttaMind

Thank you to you all. It meant a lot to me just to write that.

SoberD

Time, I too am 33 and have been a binger and sometimes every day drinker for about 15 years. As you say, "living on the edge" - it was my mantra as well. Now I am beginning to realize that there is nothing glamorous about the complete loss of control that comes with me drinking. Without the booze, the biggest change in mindset for me has been the realization that I am "grown up" and could live and long and happy life, (rather than burning out in flames while young, which I tended to glorify as well). Welcome!

ddrayer

Sober you hit it right on the head. I tend/ed to glamorize my lifestyle. For what possible reason I would think it would be glamorous to die young from drinking I have no idea, but that thought was there.

janiebluebird

I identify as a binge drinker too. I don't drink daily, but when I do, its very unpredictable if I'll behave or not. I've gotten myself into far too much trouble during my out of control binges and could wind up hurting myself or someone else if I don't stay stopped. I began AA meetings just last week, are you planning to seek outside support?

Just because we don't drink every day doesn't mean we don't have a drinking problem. I'm 28, 8 days sober today (I've had ever stints in the past that did not last) and determined to stay on board this time. I hope you do too.

Paddler

Another 33 year old "binge drank since 20" fellow Tennessean here. I found this site in december... it has been a HUGE help. Keep coming back. Try to make it through the weekend sober with me.

TimeOuttaMind

Janie, I have not attended any meetings or gotten any support in that manner.
I went one time to a meeting and thought, "Wow, these stories are awful, I am not like these folks."

I have never talked about this out loud before. Maybe I should. Like I say, most people around me are convinced I have nothing to be worried about. Just letting off steam. I feel like I almost have this thing defeated. I just need to say ENOUGH. I CANNOT HANDLE IT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.

Thanks for listening and asking!
Stay strong!

janiebluebird

I'm honestly sick of the killer hang overs and being held back in life in general. Every time I drink, I put myself back days. Its not a way to live.

nigey1

You hit the nail on the head. You lost your honour and I would add respect. I didnt realize how missing they were until I found them again. Once you do .......and you will.... you wont give them up a second time.

TimeOuttaMind

Thank you Paddler. Nice to see a fellow TN going thru the same thing as me.
Let's make it thru the weekend, thank you.

Janie, that is where I am at exactly with the killer hangovers and the guilt. Tired of doing so good then going on a crazy bender.

Nigey, thank you man. You are so right about the respect. I am not going to give them up again. I have had enough of this cycle. Enough is enough!

sugarbear1

glad you found SR!

Binge drinking will be added to the DSM when the new version comes out. It's not about how much or how often we drink. It's about not being able to live without drinking. Normal drinkers don't blackout. The only non-functioning alcoholics I know are dead.

I wish you well on your sober journey!

deeker

[QUOTE=
Thanks for reading. I wish I could write out my story as well as others I have seen here. I just am blessed to be here today. I know it will be a battle for the rest of my life, but I am ready for war! I am alive and sober. Pray for me, please.[/QUOTE]

Woohooo! Awesome post! It won't always seem like a battle. It will seem like a gift and you will treasure every minute of it. I am praying! Woohoo!

Journey40

Welcome! It's a day-by-day thing, but that's what we're here for...you can do it!

SoberKat9

Welcome! Sugarbear hit it right on the nail - it's not about how much we drink, but how it affects our bodies and life. I had to accept that the negatives from drinking were just way too much and too high of a risk to continue. On day 40 now (almost 41) and I just feel so much better mentally and physically.

I too considered myself a binge drinker. But guess what? That binge drinking started to progress into more frequent occurrences until towards the end I was drunk at least once a week, maybe two.

My advice is, better to quit while you're ahead. The disease only gets worse as time goes on.

There are a lot of great people and posts on this site - hope you find the help that you need here. Best wishes to you. Sober life really is better in so many ways. I'm learning that more and more each day. :-)

MyFitz

TOM,

Welcome! I am 6 weeks since my last binge. Not terribly unusual except I am making a serious condos effort to , never drink again. BlAckoutz, Bruises and Barf. I hate being a binge drinker. Killer hangovers for 2 and now 3 days long. I'm in my 4o's. I just want to be predictable and responsible to my family, they deserve it.
BinGe drinking is a special serious problem. It doesn't go away or become more manageable with age.
Why not? I'm really interested in a cure. The only one suggested is complete abstinence, seems harsh and a rather cruel and unusual self applied punishment for having an enzyme malfunction.

I'm hoping I don't become a dry drunk. Gosh that is really a strong possibility.