janiebluebird

I'm in a wedding this month and have a fancy dinner to attend with the bridal party this Saturday. I have been contemplating making up an excuse not to go since everyone but me will be drinking wine, and well, not to sound like a brat but at this point its not fun for me to be around people who are getting all tipsy. Plus I'm going to have to pay for their wine when the bill gets split. I feel obligated to go, though. I also don't want to miss out on the bridal party events, these are things we'll look back on. I can decide where to draw the line between my old friends/life and my new life. [*Note: My friends are not delinquents or alcoholics. Most of them will have a few glasses of wine, MAYBE go out after, but they've simmered down a lot since we are all getting a bit older in our late 20's.]

My plan to keep my head in check is to attend a day time meeting. I may also arrange a session with a personal trainer for early Sunday morning, which is both a treat to me and a great reason to jet out of there after the dinner.

I'd appreciate any input or opinions. I'm leaning more towards just going now, but still have some doubts if its what I really want.

least

I'd say go if you feel strong enough and want to see your friends badly enough. Do you have a plan in place for if you should be tempted?

janiebluebird

I'm not really sure. What kind of a plan could I make if I get tempted? I was kind of going to rely on going in with a strong mind set and having something to do early the next morning that costs money. What else could I do if I feel an urge?

FinallyFinished

I just had an identical plan about two weeks ago. I volunteered to be the designated driver and to drop one of my drinking friends off at the train at a certain time. It was okay. I was very aware of what and how much everyone was drinking and I felt a little strange, but I'm glad that I didn't miss the shower.

It will be okay, just keep your head in the game

Dee74

I dunno Janie - it's not been that long since you drank again is it?
If you're unsure thats probably something you should listen to IMO.

If you don't need to, why stick your head in the lion's mouth?

D

janiebluebird

This is true, Dee. I am back at a week and hit a personal low that ultimately gave me the final push into AA. I'm definitely not sold on going to the dinner, and would rather use the money elsewhere. I want to change my life. I'm going to back-to-back meetings tomorrow night, one I've wanted to attend but never went in. Maybe I will meet some people who can give me some guidance. My old friends are my only social outlet right now, so thats the emotional side of my head kicking it. Maybe the rational side needs to step up?

Dee74

I told myself there was more important stuff besides social outlets this early, Janie.

I dunno how many parties I missed then, but I know I don't miss not having been there now

D

quitforme79

I have a dear friend of mines wedding in July. It is out of state where I used to live. Even though it's in the future I have planned it out lol I am going to drive there for the day and then take my little butt all the way home at the end of the night. I may also bring someone sober with me who has been in those situations and is comfortable with it. I think I will take some awesome pictures at the wedding and make a nice photo album to give to my friend.(A project will distract me too) Drunk I would never accomplish anything thoughtful. Def ask people in the rooms, they will have some great advice I am sure.

CaiHong

I would have said go but after reading Dee's post,I am not so sure but I do admire how you are covering attempting to cover all your bases. I especially like the personal trainer in the morning.

Get in and get out early might be the go.

nogard

Basically I agree with Dee, I didn't go to places that where difficult for me for a long time and then I mostly didn't want to or need to go.

Yep put your recovery first.

If you go take another recovery addict/alcoholic with you.