Battling Insanity

Old 04-04-2013, 06:04 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
cnedad's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Iron Station
Posts: 8
Battling Insanity

I find myself praying against my own will at night because I know that when I wake up in the morning all consequences from the previous day are forgotten and my desire for intoxication, renewed.

Subsequently, God answers that prayer and leads me away from temptations, even stifles my pursuit at times. Instead of expressing gratitude, I get angry and acknowledge that I don't like what he's doing. Just give me what I want.

After blatant disregard for a higher power, I find what I want and by the end of the night I'm pleading for God to take my will away from me.

When not sober, I yearn for sobriety. When sober, I want nothing but intoxication. I can't stop it.
cnedad is offline  
Old 04-04-2013, 06:16 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
least's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,080
You can stop it, but you have to want to be sober more than you want to drink tho. How badly do you want to be sober?
least is offline  
Old 04-04-2013, 06:18 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
wpainterw's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
You can stop it. You say you believe in God. If you do, that will help you. Because of your dependance on alcohol, part of your brain is trying to get you to continue drinking. You can diminish its influence with the help of counseling, other folks in recovery, and, if you believe, your higher power. Medical help is also a good idea. What I am saying is that you don't have to fight this battle all by yourself. With counseling, help from others (including those on this website), your higher power (which ever you believe in), and medical help you can win through to banish these thoughts from your head. How do I know this? I know it because I was able to do this for 25 years and in doing that I have met countless others who have done the same. You can do this too. It's not easy. No one ever said it was easy. It takes lots of patience, time, and guts but it's worth it and that's putting it mildly. It's really very simple. Do you want to continue being the way you are now or do you want to be happy? Good luck!
P.S. I just saw that Least has put up a post that says, "You can stop it." That's what I say too!

wpainterw is offline  
Old 04-04-2013, 06:20 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Received's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,090
Have you looked into Rational Recovery/AVRT, SMART or Lifering?

I utilized Rational Recovery/AVRT. It really helped me to understand and then identify the addictive voice (AV) from "me", so to speak.

Information about Rational Recovery/AVRT can be googled or you can find more information in the secular forum here at SR. Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

You can also find information about SMART and Lifering by googling or at this link here at SR:
Received is offline  
Old 04-04-2013, 06:31 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
cnedad's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Iron Station
Posts: 8
I used to consider myself a rational person but somehow my reason has become infected. Thank you for the resources. Intellectualizing is my worst trait.
cnedad is offline  
Old 04-04-2013, 07:50 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
I couldn't stop the insanity until I surrendered to Alcoholics Anonymous.

All the best.

Bob R
2granddaughters is offline  
Old 04-04-2013, 07:59 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Dee74's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 209,105
When not sober, I yearn for sobriety. When sober, I want nothing but intoxication. I can't stop it.
I gave over 20 years to drinking. I'd give a few days, one week, to sobriety.
I finally figured out what was wrong with that.

You can stop the insanity - but don't expect it to stop on a dime. That's where support comes in

Whether it's AVRT, LifeRing, AA or some other group, or SR, or counselling, or whatever...maybe it's time to call in some reinforcements cnedad?

Dee74 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:01 PM.