I'am NOT giving up...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: FLAAADAH
Posts: 793
I'am NOT giving up...
...BUT I NEED HELP !!!
I'am 15 years alcoholic. I WANT to quit! I DONT HAVE TO quit. I WANT TO !!!
I have not hit "Rock Bottom" Never been to jail. Never had a DUI...Never been fired from a job for drinking. My wife still loves me...and is still here.
I'am 60 YO...and want to live to 88 ! But realize I wont...unless I get Sober!!!
I subscribe to AA...I drink beer. No Liquor. 12 pack a day...everyday...and I'am done!
I have no life. After a days work...I drink...I'am in a drunken stuper, and thats it. I go to bed...get up next morning and do it all over again.
I want to escape the insanity !...Depression!!!...
I KNOW I'am alcoholic!!!...no doubt!!!...How can Iget SOBER !!!!
WHAT is the answer ??? I know AA can not get you sober. It can only KEEP you sober!!! How can I GET sober ???
I'am 15 years alcoholic. I WANT to quit! I DONT HAVE TO quit. I WANT TO !!!
I have not hit "Rock Bottom" Never been to jail. Never had a DUI...Never been fired from a job for drinking. My wife still loves me...and is still here.
I'am 60 YO...and want to live to 88 ! But realize I wont...unless I get Sober!!!
I subscribe to AA...I drink beer. No Liquor. 12 pack a day...everyday...and I'am done!
I have no life. After a days work...I drink...I'am in a drunken stuper, and thats it. I go to bed...get up next morning and do it all over again.
I want to escape the insanity !...Depression!!!...
I KNOW I'am alcoholic!!!...no doubt!!!...How can Iget SOBER !!!!
WHAT is the answer ??? I know AA can not get you sober. It can only KEEP you sober!!! How can I GET sober ???
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
I got sober in a recovery home in 1989. I was 45 yrs old. AA has kept me sober since then.
AA can get you sober if you have a desire to quit and the willingness to surrender.
The desire only has to be as big as a mustard seed ... it will grow as you attend the meetings.
My sponsor told me I had to COMMIT to AA .. not just be INVOLVED in AA.
The difference is like a bacon & egg breakfast.... the chicken is involved and the pig is committed.
Just talk to the good oldtimers, they will help you. I still have my wife from 1962.
All the best.
Bob R
AA can get you sober if you have a desire to quit and the willingness to surrender.
The desire only has to be as big as a mustard seed ... it will grow as you attend the meetings.
My sponsor told me I had to COMMIT to AA .. not just be INVOLVED in AA.
The difference is like a bacon & egg breakfast.... the chicken is involved and the pig is committed.
Just talk to the good oldtimers, they will help you. I still have my wife from 1962.
All the best.
Bob R
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,755
You have to just accept that you can't drink. That drinking is no longer an option. We can support you but you have to do the work. You have to stop yourself from drinking. I hope you can get sober before you do hit rock bottom.
Here's a good place to start. Post in this thread anytime you have the urge to drink.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...il-2013-a.html
Here's a good place to start. Post in this thread anytime you have the urge to drink.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...il-2013-a.html
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,643
I am 50 y/o and can pretty much post what you just did. My rock bottom was realizing that I was wasting my life, living in shame and embarrassment, and sick and tired of being sick and tired. The first step, you just completed, admitting the problem. My next step was putting down the bottle (wino here), making a commitment and following through. You may want to talk with your doctor before going cold turkey, as the withdrawals can be brutal and dangerous. Fifty-eight days sober today and I am not going back! You can do this and you will be so relieved and happy when you do!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: FLAAADAH
Posts: 793
THANK you Least...
...for being here for me.
Ihope to be able to return the favor someday.
I agree. AA says it is much better to WANT to quit... than waiting until you HAVE to quit !!!
I have read the "BigBook" Cover to cover...but just have a problem with living sober...day to day. I'am making feeble attempts...I think that is a lot of my problem !!!
I need to get SERIOUS !!!!!
Ihope to be able to return the favor someday.
I agree. AA says it is much better to WANT to quit... than waiting until you HAVE to quit !!!
I have read the "BigBook" Cover to cover...but just have a problem with living sober...day to day. I'am making feeble attempts...I think that is a lot of my problem !!!
I need to get SERIOUS !!!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: FLAAADAH
Posts: 793
Yes...I DO go to meetings...but I have a problem with the group I attend. I need to find another. I'am read the RIOT act for attending meetings and still drinking...although I have never attended a meeting drunk. I'am not a "Sloppy Drunk". I'am just on the "Fence"...still drinking... I'am feeling (hearing) "Get Serious or get out" ! "If Your not ready to get sober...then go out and drink somemore"...Idont know what to think about it. Dont give a alcoholic a reason to go out and keep drinking !!!!! They'll do it !!! I came to AA to stop drinking...NOT told to go out and KEEP drinking until Iwas ready to quit !!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
I found that the answer to seriously getting going is in AA's HOW IT WORKS. I know you have seen it but lets read it again:
"RARELY HAVE we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.
Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided that you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it - then you are ready to take certain steps.
At some of these we balked. We thought that we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.
Remember that we deal with alcohol - cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power - that One is God. May you find him now.
Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.
Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Many of us exclaimed, "What an order! I can't go through with it." Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is, that we were willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.
Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:
(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.
(c) That God could and would if He were sought."
How it works - Chapter 5, page 58-60 of the Book,
Alcoholics Anonymous
I start my day off on my knees asking for help.
I hang tight with my sponsor and the oldtimers.
I am open to working for recovery and I'm open to letting it happen.
All the best.
Bob R
"RARELY HAVE we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.
Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided that you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it - then you are ready to take certain steps.
At some of these we balked. We thought that we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.
Remember that we deal with alcohol - cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power - that One is God. May you find him now.
Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.
Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Many of us exclaimed, "What an order! I can't go through with it." Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is, that we were willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.
Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:
(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.
(c) That God could and would if He were sought."
How it works - Chapter 5, page 58-60 of the Book,
Alcoholics Anonymous
I start my day off on my knees asking for help.
I hang tight with my sponsor and the oldtimers.
I am open to working for recovery and I'm open to letting it happen.
All the best.
Bob R
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,960
Start by talking with your doctor about a proper detox.
Drinking a 12 pack a day can lead to serious withdrawal and can possibly be lethal.
Start with detox, keep attending meetings. Find a sponsor and work those steps. If you can, ask about Back to Basics (working the steps quickly the first time for relief and freedom; also look online for those Back to Basics workshops).
You can stay stopped, but you have to put some more effort into not buying and drinking that stuff.
Drinking a 12 pack a day can lead to serious withdrawal and can possibly be lethal.
Start with detox, keep attending meetings. Find a sponsor and work those steps. If you can, ask about Back to Basics (working the steps quickly the first time for relief and freedom; also look online for those Back to Basics workshops).
You can stay stopped, but you have to put some more effort into not buying and drinking that stuff.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,960
Try getting a sponsor as a guide to studying the big book. We tend to intellectualize and understand those steps when it's really the spiritual experience we get when we put the action into that program of recovery (the steps), and they work best when NOT drinking.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: FLAAADAH
Posts: 793
Yes...I have made "Feeble Attempts" in the past to stop. I have been fortunate that I have had no "Major" Withdrawel" symptoms.
Ihave just hit my own "Wall". This has got to stop !!! I have a life to live...and I cant do it with the drinking. !!!
Maybe I need to get off the "fence" and committ...like I really mean it !!!
Ihave just hit my own "Wall". This has got to stop !!! I have a life to live...and I cant do it with the drinking. !!!
Maybe I need to get off the "fence" and committ...like I really mean it !!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Around and About
Posts: 1,254
DuhDave...
Change is the only thing that will help here. ...and the change means, I am sorry to say, yourself, and the things you do.
You are a "SELF", and it requires a lot of introspection to find out what that is. Make a list (and it doesn't matter how simple it seems, of the things that make you happy/fulfilled). My list i.e includes: dancing (ballroom and tango), having "done" artwork (emphasis here on "having done"). weeding things (Ok so I am a pyromaniac at heart. -love to get things in a pile and burn them up!!!), board games and NOT TV!...)
It strikes me that you first have to find out who "DuhDave"really is...and believe me, you are not only unique, but worth it.
Pamel
Change is the only thing that will help here. ...and the change means, I am sorry to say, yourself, and the things you do.
You are a "SELF", and it requires a lot of introspection to find out what that is. Make a list (and it doesn't matter how simple it seems, of the things that make you happy/fulfilled). My list i.e includes: dancing (ballroom and tango), having "done" artwork (emphasis here on "having done"). weeding things (Ok so I am a pyromaniac at heart. -love to get things in a pile and burn them up!!!), board games and NOT TV!...)
It strikes me that you first have to find out who "DuhDave"really is...and believe me, you are not only unique, but worth it.
Pamel
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,355
Hi again Dave
You stop drinking.
I'm not being a wise guy - that really is the objective here.
How hard it is is down to you really - if I had access to support I'd use the heck out of it...
if my local meeting wasn't great I'd find another...I'd sit on SR 24/7 if I had to, until I had day one down...then day two....
If you really want it, then go for it - leave no stone unturned.
You'll get out what you put in Dave - I promise
D
How can I GET sober ???
I'm not being a wise guy - that really is the objective here.
How hard it is is down to you really - if I had access to support I'd use the heck out of it...
if my local meeting wasn't great I'd find another...I'd sit on SR 24/7 if I had to, until I had day one down...then day two....
If you really want it, then go for it - leave no stone unturned.
You'll get out what you put in Dave - I promise
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: FLAAADAH
Posts: 793
Thank You All for your input.
I know your not trying to be a wise guy D...and your right. Just stop the d**m drinking...But it is hard to do. You Know this. I never thought it would be this difficult. Geeeeze....it's scary!
Bob...the Part in the "How it Works" Scares me too. The part about "Those who Willnot...or Cannot"...Am I one of the "Unfortunates"???...That scares me. I dont know if I'am a "Will not"...or a "cannot"...
God knows...I'am a "Want to"...the Desire to stop drinking is strong...the "WHY" cant I stop it is still a mystery.
I know...the "Cunning, Powerful and Baffeling" part...you BETTER BELIEVE it is
Thanks to all...for your comments. (24-7 Dee???...I can do That) !
Dave
I know your not trying to be a wise guy D...and your right. Just stop the d**m drinking...But it is hard to do. You Know this. I never thought it would be this difficult. Geeeeze....it's scary!
Bob...the Part in the "How it Works" Scares me too. The part about "Those who Willnot...or Cannot"...Am I one of the "Unfortunates"???...That scares me. I dont know if I'am a "Will not"...or a "cannot"...
God knows...I'am a "Want to"...the Desire to stop drinking is strong...the "WHY" cant I stop it is still a mystery.
I know...the "Cunning, Powerful and Baffeling" part...you BETTER BELIEVE it is
Thanks to all...for your comments. (24-7 Dee???...I can do That) !
Dave
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Dave, I think you are going to have to decide whether you are an alcoholic as described in The Big Book or not.
My best thinking and intentions got me to being a hopeless suicidal drunk. My same thinking will not get me out of the hole. I had to surrender and be led back to sobriety and sanity by my Higher Power, sponsor and the oldtimers.. by the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous.
If you aren't an alcoholic like me, then put me on your "ignore" list. If you are an alcoholic like me then your salvation will be in commitment to AA.
You can't have it both ways... you can't have your cake and eat it too. You are at the fork in the road and will have to pick a path.
All the best.
Bob R
My best thinking and intentions got me to being a hopeless suicidal drunk. My same thinking will not get me out of the hole. I had to surrender and be led back to sobriety and sanity by my Higher Power, sponsor and the oldtimers.. by the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous.
If you aren't an alcoholic like me, then put me on your "ignore" list. If you are an alcoholic like me then your salvation will be in commitment to AA.
You can't have it both ways... you can't have your cake and eat it too. You are at the fork in the road and will have to pick a path.
All the best.
Bob R
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: FLAAADAH
Posts: 793
Thank you Bob...
I would never put you...or anyone else on "Ignore".
Fear of Failure...is strong in my mind. I'am afraid...to commit. I might Fail.
I dont know...Ihave a fear of commitment???...I'am a mess.
Icertainly dont expect you or anyone else to "Sort me Out".
Ijust appreciate ya'll being here for me...Thank you.
Dave
I would never put you...or anyone else on "Ignore".
Fear of Failure...is strong in my mind. I'am afraid...to commit. I might Fail.
I dont know...Ihave a fear of commitment???...I'am a mess.
Icertainly dont expect you or anyone else to "Sort me Out".
Ijust appreciate ya'll being here for me...Thank you.
Dave
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: FLAAADAH
Posts: 793
I really dont know...Am I a Drunk...or an Alcoholic???
That scares me...you know the old saying....Alcoholics WANT to get sober...Drunks dont!!
I really want to get and stay sober...I just cant seem to !!!! I cant go 12 hours without a beer!!!
Dave (my damn "space" key is sticking)...damnit!!!!
That scares me...you know the old saying....Alcoholics WANT to get sober...Drunks dont!!
I really want to get and stay sober...I just cant seem to !!!! I cant go 12 hours without a beer!!!
Dave (my damn "space" key is sticking)...damnit!!!!
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