Help
 

I am addicted to vicodin. It's gotten very bad. I have to take 10mg pills and drink a fourth of a bottle of benadryl and take other things if i have them(lyrica, xanax, soma etc...)to get a buzz. I am scared. I buy them off the street and use money that is supposed to be for bills. My husband thinks I am clean. I'm afraid he will leave me if he finds out. I pawned my wedding ring last week and realized I have hot bottom. I made an appointment for outpatient rehab on Monday. I have two boys 18 and 15 that I homeschool. I do evertbing I'm supposed to do (clean cook laundry etc) and then I get high at night after everything is done. In days I don't have pills I can't function I just spend the entire day trying to find them. I have been doing this for 15 years now off and on. Mostly on...I'm so scared. I want to get clean.

I would encourage you to make an appointment to see your doctor. Be honest and ask for help to detox.

You can do it!

Make the call tomorrow!

I called and have an appointment for outpatient rehab Monday.

I'm sorry I missed that! That is awesome! Way to go! I hope it is very helpful for you. Be encouraged, and stick with us here at SR. :)

I used last night. So today will be my first day.i changed my phone number and blocked all numbers of people I buy from. It's a start but I've been down this road before and have always failed.if I don't make it this time I'm afraid it's the last straw for my husband of 14 years. I'm so afraid I feel physically ill from fear.

Well, try to get some sleep. I'm heading off now.

Take it easy. Tomorrow is another day. Do the best you can. It's going to be ok.

Welcome, Hawkmama, there's lots of support here.

Outpatient rehab worked for me, I hope it does for you too!

Welcome Hawkmama, congratulations on wanting to get free from your addiction. This is a great site and has helped me tremendously in staying sober one day at a time.

Hawk you need to find an AA/NA meeting in your area and be strong and go. Go early and stay late try and talk to people with a significant amount of clean time and they should help you. Depending on how much you have been using the physical part will suck but it is only the beginning of the road

I've been through the physical part before. I can handle it. I've been using a lot. I was clean for several months then my dad died in October and we were estranged for 7 months he would not speak to me except with hate and anger in his voice a few times. When he died in October I started using again. Pretty much every day. 10 10mg vicodin(at once) Benadryl and whatever I could get to (Lyrica, Xanax, soma). Yesterday I did it twice. 10 each time. It's gotten bad. I'm using heavier than ever.