Its been a week...
 

Not that I have been totally sober,but never really bad either....the most I have had to drink is two bloody mary's....its like cheating but not. I am glad I haven't gone "over board" but a bit sad I haven't completely committed....

For me it would just be a matter of time, like that ticking time bomb...
That loves to go off when I least expect it..

And trying to control something that I knew was going to go out-of-control sometime, was no way to live.. Walking on egg shells..


I hope you take that final leap, and put it down for good.. :)

Thank you for your honesty. I think it's the first step to staying alcohol free. I am praying that you will gain the tools and strength you need to quit completely. Like HappyDestiny, I'm a ticking time bomb. I think I have the drinking under control, and something upsets me so here goes another drink going bottom up. Before you know it, everything's spiraling down. I'm at week number one, and it's been the longest week of my life, but I have clear head. I don't like feeling bad and not being able to numb it, but atleast I'm not waking up with nothing but regrets and a nasty hangover! You hang in there!

I'm not sure what I want....

I do want to put it down for good, but just not there yet....I'm even at "pause" on the keyboard saying this...

I was like you at the very beginning....

I think I KNEW I had a serious problem, wanted to get help, came on SR for a while, made a half-hearted attempt to quit, but had the odd drink or 2....

I wasn't really ready. But I knew it would happen at some point. I guess I was also more than a little scared of what my sober life would look like.

I don't regret making that leap of faith, not one bit. Getting sober is the best decision I ever made x

Thank you Jeni26, I know I am getting there...

For me I am a member of AA, and it took me a year and half of drinking and quitting every month or so..

They told me I had to accept I was a alcoholic, and for me that was not the problem.. I knew that. I had been a very heavy daily drinker for decades.. I couldnt function without drinking..

I couldn't accept the thought of what or how in the world not to drink.. I just kept trying , I kept going to meetings,and talking with people..

Until it finally happened.. I just gave in.. And gave myself a chance at being sober. For I just kept saying , I am going to try to feel what it is like to live sober..

And I would say and do say this .. Every day.. One day at a time..

Thank you so much for your post.. And your on a great road.. Your here and you want to quit.. I lot of people never make it that far.. :)

I hope you can give it up for good.:)

Hey 3! So glad u posted! Yes, cutting way back is a victory, but we must remember that first and foremost, we need to deal with the problems that got us drinking this much to begin with. Coming to a site like sober recovery, you won't find much support for moderation, because most of us can't moderate. We had to give it up completely. I had to!! I don't really miss it, because I think about the times I was hopelessly wasted after I said I would cut back in various ways. I stopped drinking and started living my life! Today I actually care about other people! I mean genuinely care! That didn't happen when I was drinking!

After almost 4 mo of sobriety, I tried to moderate and it ended badly. I do not wish the same in anyone, however it needed to be that way, so I could remember why drinking, in any amounts, just isn't my thing anymore.

No drinking means I can make solid decisions, I can help other people and I can get to the bottom of my problems in a secure and level headed manner. I go to bed sober, and wake up with out a hangover or traces of booze on my breath. I can function at any time of the day or night. I can be there for my kids and give them a better mom than i was giving them. It's truely amazing what I can do today, because I am not bound by my alcohol consumption. And by bound, I also mean thinking about how normal people have drinks and move on, I had a couple of drinks and obsessed about it for days. Or I thought constantly about when I was gonna have a another drink, even if it was 5 days away. Or I constantly defended my position about having just a couple of drinks and being fine.

For me, alcohol cannot be an option, and it feels good to know that it's working for me, today! I wish you the best! I was thrilled to see you come around and post! Keep comin back!

Sounds like you are putting a lot of effort into this moderating.

If alcohol is still working, why quit yet?

This is what in AA I have heard called a "surrender moment". This is one of the paradoxes of AA - we must surrender to win.

3girls1H have considered surrendering like this? You can do this with or without AA, but like HappyDestiny I too use AA.

Thanks to all of you, I really am in a place in life that I am not sure of. I want to be here on SR, yet also feel if I don't completely quit then its not really fair or appropriate form me to post...I don't know.
But I do know that this site has done wonders for me already, and its the people here who make it the great and safe place that it is.