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Confronted my spouse on bottle a night wine habit

Old 04-05-2013, 02:26 PM
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Hmm 1 or 2 drinks a day IS possibly ok for a normal drinker, but there are 6 servings of wine in a bottle.

I'm not sure your Dr grasped how much your wife was drinking?

Wishing you all the best in tackling this. It's not easy, I had a love affair with red wine.

S x
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Old 04-05-2013, 02:28 PM
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Are you sure your Dr meant 1 or 2 bottles and not 1 or 2 glasses? 2 bottles of wine a night almost definitely is not 'okay'. It wasn't Dr Nick off the Simpsons was it?
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Old 04-05-2013, 02:32 PM
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That used to be me, then it got worse- I didn't listen

even in retrospect I don't think the 'opinions' of others would have made much difference. I think it is the nature of addiction.

It was not until I wanted change- or more specifically, could 'not go on' that I was ready
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Old 04-05-2013, 03:27 PM
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Sorry, Dr. was referring to studies showing one or two glasses per day. One bottle/evening is 5 to 10 times that amount.
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Old 04-05-2013, 04:15 PM
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But the doctor wasn't concerned over her drinking a bottle a night? That seems callous to me, careless too, as a bottle of wine a night most certainly is way over the limit.
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Old 04-05-2013, 04:28 PM
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A little confused, you said your wife was drinking a bottle of wine a night, not one or two as your Dr ok 'd??
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Old 04-05-2013, 04:46 PM
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Sorry for the confusion. Dr OK'd one or two glasses per day. He did comment on the bottle a night except to say that if it wasn't causing problems it wasn't a big deal.
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Old 04-05-2013, 05:03 PM
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Originally Posted by AppleCorp View Post
Sorry for the confusion. Dr OK'd one or two glasses per day. He did comment on the bottle a night except to say that if it wasn't causing problems it wasn't a big deal.
I think a bottle of wine every night IS a big deal, health wise. Maybe see a doctor that specializes in addiction. Your doctor sounds like he's not up on the latest info regarding alcohol consumption. He just gave your wife a get-out-of-trouble-free pass.
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Old 04-05-2013, 05:12 PM
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Originally Posted by AppleCorp View Post
Dr. cited one or two per day as OK, As long as it's not affecting job, health, relationships, etc. He didn't quote an upper limit. DW says therefore there isn't any problem, but is willing to cut down.
One or two a day. Does that relate to bottles or glasses? What you seem to be saying is that your wife is drinking at least a bottle a day. I finally found the SR forum when I had shifted from a bottle a night to 1.5 bottles of wine a night. She may say she is willing to cut down but she may not be able to until she feels/understands it's a problem. I wish you both well, it's not an easy road until she decides it's easy to give up.
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Old 04-08-2013, 01:48 PM
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misspond, Dr only commented on 1 -2 glasses per day. My concern is over a bottle per day. If I may ask, what caused you to seek help?
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Old 04-08-2013, 02:16 PM
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Originally Posted by AppleCorp View Post
Newbie obviously,
I confronted my spouse about a bottle a night wine pattern. I think it's been two or three years since that hasn't been the case. No "problems" to speak of like DUI, job issue, or family abuse. I'm mainly concerned that the will or ability to cut back isn't there. I brought up as a concern for health. The response was not constructive. Do I have cause for concern or should I let the dependence continue?
Hi,

I saw from your profile that you are male. And you refer to your partner as spouse, so it might be a man or a woman.

Btw, I find differences in sexual preference as normal as differences in eye color. But for this discussion it's important if you are talking to a man or a woman.

For men, the max. recommended amount of alcohol is 2 standard glasses a night. For women it's 1. So anything above that is a problem.

A bottle of wine a night is a huge problem. It's devastating to their health. It needs to stop.

Whatever you do, never let the dependence continue. It will ruin their health and well-being.

You need to be the person who gets him/her to quit. Whatever it takes.

You might need to be direct and dominant. You need to take control. You are doing it to save their live. Get help with this if you need to, but one bottle of wine is too much for a male or female. And from experience I can tell you, gradually it might turn into two bottles.

Do all you can to get him/her clean. Go and see a doctor without them knowing if you need to. It needs to stop.
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