Bruno1979

Hi guys,

I hope you're all well,

Personally I am good but deep down I'm struggling to break out of a rythem that I've found myself in. I can't seem to manage to string more than 2 or 3 days together withough having a beer. I recently went over 90 days without alcohol and found all around that my life was better without it, but at the moment any excuse will do. I don't get to the point of drunkness but I always seem to find myself with a beer in my hand.

I feel as though my obsession with it is back. I'm currently working as a part time police officer along side running my own business and the pressure of my own business keeps leading me back towards the pub after work as a form of stress relief, which inturn is putting pressure on the relationship that I have with my wife. I even had a dream last night that I was involved in an emergency in my policing job where my colleagues were in action but I was a bystander drinking a can of beer watching them.

I really do need to break this cycle again and I feel that posting on here will help me do it.

Thanks once again for listening.

Bruno.

2granddaughters

Good luck, Bruno.

Bob R

Bruno1979

Thank you very much

TTBABP

Dee always asks "What can you do differently?" SO what can you do to change te cycle?

doggonecarl

If I recall, you were doing the 90 days as a test for alcohol dependence and you had it in your mind to resume once you hit that mark.

First, I think you misunderstood what the "test" is for. What did going 90 days show you? Was it a struggle? Your postings here show it was.

Going 90 days, while a victory of sorts, didn't turn you into a normal drinker did it? You resumed drinking and are not happy about it. Normal drinkers don't agonize about their drinking. They drink, maybe they don't. They don't fixate.

Bruno, if you know life was better sober, just make the committment to never drink again. Then get on with your life. It will be so much easier.

Bruno1979

That's exactly what I was thinking, maybe post on here more and get support from you guys.

ScottFromWI

I find that I personally need a little structure or a plan to keep myself focused on sobriety. Currently I am using SR as that structure by reading and writing on a daily basis. For others that might be some type of local support like AA/AVRT/Smart, etc.. I quit for about 40 days last may and slowly worked my way back into daily consupmption a few months after. I'd highly recommend sticking around here for sure, and maybe try going to some local support meetings to see if that works. Whatever does, make a plan and stick to it. That way you are prepared when temptation arises.

Bruno1979

You're so right.

I don't know what the fascination with it is. I wish I did. One minute I feel free from it and relieved and then not so long after I'm drinking again and not enjoying it. Its not normal I know.

Surely this is the end of it now.

Thank you for your kind words,

Bruno.

Bruno1979

SR is definitely the way to go for me,

I can't go to local meetings with the fear of bumping into "undesirable" characters (no offence meant to them as they have their own problems) who may recognise me and maybe cause me even more problems.

Its not straight forward at all, but I really do need to succeed this time.

Thank you,

Bruno.

FreeFall

Welcome back Bruno! Sometimes we spend too much time analyzing all the
"whys" and causes of our drinking problems, which isn't always productive and doesn't necessarily help us stay sober. Like doggonecarl said, just make the commitment to stop and move on with your life. It sounds simple but it really can work like that. When you remove drinking as an option, you have to find other ways to cope and unwind and guess what? You will! You can do this!

least

Make this your last time stopping. It will be worth the effort it takes to get sober. Give it your all.

hypochondriac

Hi Hun. As a side note. I have been to local meetings in our area and there are no undesirables and you will never meet a more supportive bunch of people. No one will give you a hard time. But of course that isn't something you absolutely have to do. You could get one on one sessions at Aquarius (01782 283113) or like you said, post here more. I wonder if it is worth looking more into alcohol addiction though and maybe reading some stuff to help you understand it more. It isn't the mystery it sometimes seems. Nice to see you x

Hevyn

Hello Bruno. It's good you wanted to talk about your struggles. This is a great place for encouragement, and we all know how it feels to be tempted during challenging times. For me, I finally realized drinking was just adding to my anxiety, not calming me or helping me cope.

Glad to have you here, and we hope it helps to post about your feelings.

Emily2002

I could have written this very thing, Bruno. Starting over today, myself, to try and break the cycle. I'm so very tired of beating myself up all the time when I can't control the drinking. If I knew 100% that I could moderate 100% of the the time, I'd be golden. Unfortunately, I fear this will NEVER be the case.

Anna

Bruno, you are always welcome to come here and read and share and be inspired. We do understand how hard this is.

Something that worked for me in the early days was changing my routine. So, instead of going to the pub after work to release stress, how about going to the gym, or for a long walk. Do something different than you normally do. And, above all, believe that you can do this.

Dee74

Hi Bruno

Lots of good advice here - to me last recovery relies on making changes - sometimes momentous changes, finding the right kind and level of support, and having the commitment to stick to both.

Next time you feel the urge to drink, make a different decision. Make some changes and find the support Bruno - stick to it....and you'll be on your way.

D

Jeni26

Hi Bruno, if what you're doing isn't working, I reckon it's time to try something new.

You need to make sobriety your number 1 priority. You know that drinking doesn't help with stress, it just adds to it if anything.

I know you can do this thing. Whatever it takes....x

Dimlitstar

That's right and can attest to that