haveaproblem

I'm a long time drinker and first time poster. I drink a lot. Not so much during the week but I binge on the weekends. I'm lucky in that it hasn't all unraveled on me yet. YET. But that's exactly the thought that horrifies me the most. I'm functional right now, but I can feel that it's sliding and I have to fix it before it's too late.

I'm an executive at a company, I have a wife (my original one!), and two kids. My oldest daughter has begged me to get help. My wife on the other hand is my enabler. The last time I told her I wanted to quit she actually cried. I think she considers me a drinking buddy, although she doesn't have a problem like I have. I quit for 90 days once. Felt great! And quickly convinced me that I didn't have a problem after all (I knew better even then). I still try to lay off for a week every now and then, but I always go back to old habits.

I read through these stories on this site, and I've been reading them literally for years. So many times I have thought "That is me! Everything that person wrote describes me!" I know my situation is not at all unique and reading these stories proves it. Reading these stories are an inspiration.

I hope that me writing is at least some indicator that I'm taking positive action to control my drinking. Thanks for listening (er, reading).

Coldfusion

Thanks for sharing, and welcome!

I don't have any drinking buddies, but I have a "sobriety buddy." My wife and I are staying sober with AA, and we both have "sponsors."

I hope you consider going to your local AA meetings.

Dan3677

Welcome, I'm new here my self but there seems to be a great community and many knowledgeable people on what you're going through.

Mrbeagle

Welcome to SR This is a great place for support. I was probably reading on here for around 6 months before I realized I had a problem, plucked up the courage and posted.

Jeni26

Welcome to SR



When I first quit, I too had a less than enthusiastic partner. Those early days were difficult, but, 10 months later, things are very different. Hang in there. Your sobriety must be your number 1 priority x

Dee74

welcome to the posting side of things haveaproblem
do you have a plan?

D

ReadyAtLast

welcome to SR

joining the monthly class on SR was,and still is, a great source of support and strength for me

haveaproblem

Thank you all for the kind words. No, sadly I don't. I haven't had anything to drink since Monday though. I guess that's something. AA is difficult for me because one of our other executives is very, very active in the recovery community. He recovered from an alcohol and cocaine addiction 30 years ago and now devotes a large amount of his time to helping recovering addicts. That's a very good thing of course, however, he's been less than kind to employees to have been revealed to be addicts. I do not want to risk my job by attending AA. He would make an issue of it to the other execs. I've got to find something else.

haveaproblem

Dee74

It seems odd to be your boss can be so involved in recovery yet full of contempt for addicted employees - but there ya go.

Luckily there's a lot of 'something else'...there's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.

D

ScoutBall

Hey Have.
I'm self-employed, live in a small community, and don't have the luxury of attending a rehab facility. It's just not feasible.

It's been posted before that we're all individuals in our recovery, and the only absolute in it that I've discovered so far--is that I'm am absolutely not going to drink today. Just today, and tomorrow I'll see what's happening.

I've attended a couple of AA meetings, and to be quite frank--am not sure it's for me.
I certainly do not begrudge those whom it does work for, and applaud them for it.
What is working for me right now is posting here daily. Reading.

Lean on the folks here. They have a lot of incredible things to say, and the support is awesome.

Maybe look for an addiction counselor. Keep exploring your options, but have a plan.
Be well.
ScoutBall

haveaproblem

Thank you very much for the information. He's not my boss, he is a co-worker. We occupy the same level of management within the organization but he would definitely make an issue for me. I too am frequently shocked at his seeming lack of compassion for employees who are discovered to be addicts. It seems counterintuitive, especially since he had his own issues many years ago. I look forward to reading your links.

haveaproblem

That is very encouraging. Thank you so much.

quitforme79

Welcome to SR I know people who drive to different towns for meetings. Just a thought. If not, like Dee said, there are other options. Glad you are here!

carter91

haveaproblem, I am in the same situation- weekend drinker/user and my partner thoroughly enjoys drinking. I've realized that I need some more support but I'm concerned about how it will effect my relationship.

Glad you posted, nice to have someone to relate to.

haveaproblem

Thank you. We've been together for almost 20 years, but she seems happiest when we're sloshed, cuddled up in bed, and watching TV. I'm tired of being sloshed. It's destroying my life and as much as I enjoyed those times, I have paid a terrible price. Drinking seems to hit me so much harder than her.

- hap

Zebra1275

Welcome to SR!

I can relate to your original post, I was functional for years. I finally crashed and burned on a multiple day bender and needed a medical detox to help me out. Fortunately, it was in the middle of a 2 week vacation so no one at the office knew. A few years later I had a relapse, and coincidently I was on vacation so I only missed 1 day of work. But obviously, I was playing with fire.

Since then AA and SR have helped me to get and stay sober.

I also worry about running into someone at a meeting since I have a fairly prominent position in my work. I actually ran into a co-worker once at a meeting. I'm in an administrative position and he is in maintenance. He actually showed up at a meeting I was at, not because he is an alcoholic, bit because he was looking for help for his son. My initial thought was "I'm busted and everybody will know" then after about 5 seconds I decided I was going to befriend the guy and try to help him and his son. I actually started going out of my way at work to talk with him about his son and offer whatever help I could. I think that was the right way to handle it. He never told anybody that he saw me at a meeting and through my actions I helped another person in need and grew a little bit as a person.

carter91

When I see other people drink or even use recreationally its frustrating because I feel that I should be able to control this. But it does effect us different and I know I can't control it. I want to be healthier and happier but I'm scared on how my choice will change my current relationship and I'm not sure how to maintain. Do you have any ideas or a plan? Just talking about this on public forums is the farthest I've come and I feel I should have done more 10 years ago.

carter91

Those meetings are not the right path for me either, it's nice to hear someone else who feels the same way. I feel that's where most advise me to start but that is what has likely kept me from getting help for so long. Hearing other stories on here has helped me today and I'm grateful for your sharing.

Richierich777

I have a lot of people who rely on me on a daily basis to include my family. So It was hurting me, probably my workers, and for sure my family. So I decided to stop drinking. Again my position is like yours, but with my clearance, my family, my work, all of it could go away in a minute. So I post and read the Big Book. Also read other post and it reminds me I am doing the right thing. Good luck to you and keep posting.

least

Admitting there is a problem is the first step to solving it. I'm glad you joined us.