Fandy

there are a lot of people on this forum that you may relate to...

keep reading, keep posting and feel free to join us....I limped in here Fbe. 2010..I am now sober 22 months and it makes life easier, healthier and much more enjoyable. sleeping well, enjoying the mornings not hungover and gratitude threads are very motivating way to start your day and keep you grounded....who knows that your wife might follow you too.

you can still watch tv in bed sober! and remember the shows!

Hevyn

Welcome haveaproblem! Great to have you with us.

It's good that you've acknowledged that you feel it's sliding. I did, too (drank 30 yrs.) but did nothing about it. I spent years insisting I could use willpower to control what I drank so I wouldn't have to give it up all together. Why, I don't know - in the end I was a zombie, just phoning it in. No joy or hope left in my life. This won't happen to you. Glad you are reclaiming your life and sharing your feelings here.

sugarbear1

Private message me for links to online AA

Rational Recovery
AVRT
SMART
SOS
Life Ring Power to Quit
Women for Sobriety

all have their own websites.

Sorry about your colleague and the situation at work, that doesn't sound grounded in spirituality, sounds like it's more grounded in fellowship.....and yes, another opinion of mine. LOL (more to add to my tenth step tonite)

Glad you found SR!!!

haveaproblem

Well I did not drink last night. That makes it day 3 for me. Still in withdrawal though. I had the sweats really bad last night along with the usual crazy dreams. Much better than the night before though when I had sweats and shakes so bad that I only slept about 40 minutes. I feel them slowly starting to subside.

Last night I dreamed that I was working a new job doing engineering tasks. I did this early in my career. In my dream, I knew I hadn't drank in 2-3 days but I was struggling not to stagger or slur. Trying really hard to not let others know I had a problem. I knew it was irrational but it's definitely some majorly deep-seated fear coming out through a dream.

Last night my wife started the routine by starting to pour some bloody marys. (She has been the bartender for years to help control the portions. Hasn't always worked well but that's another story). When I saw what she was doing I told her to make mine a virgin. She asked why and I told her because I wanted to quit drinking and in fact wanted to seek some outside help. I would have gotten the same reaction if I told her I was sleeping with her sister. She was very upset. She said that she was glad I wanted to seek help, but that I was not affectionate and was strictly business if I didn't drink. Made me feel about 2 inches tall. Still, I did not drink and am still resolved to get control of this part of my life. It's depressing to think that your wife doesn't like you sober. *sigh* I guess I'll have to treat that as a separate problem.

Thanks to everyone for the well-wishes, support, encouragement, and advide. I'm not a person who normally "talks about their feelings" and I rarely ask for help from anyone, but I recognize when I need it and right now I need it. I can't express my appreciation in words. Thank you all so very much.

lirrlls

I also relate to what you are going through. My partner and I have had some memorable bonding time over booze. The problem is, he knows when to stop and I don't. I lose all control after the first drink and will keep going until blacked out and passed out. This also plays into my mental chemistry, which is prone to bouts of depression, and this leads to decreased productivity and enjoyment in life.

It's very difficult because over the past year he has tried to teach me "control through moderation." He had a hard time understanding why I wouldn't just listen when he cut me off. As of yesterday, he is completely understanding and supportive of my choice to indulge no more. It took me a long time to clearly demonstrate through thoughts (and, some humiliating alcohol induced actions) why I had come to the decision.

I have no idea of what is to come though and it's scary. He definitely feels he has lost his drinking partner and while he is supportive, he doesn't want to abstain. He can still function in daily life when he indulges though, so I wouldn't expect him to stop. It's hard to imagine that this may cause us to drift apart.