scared and lonely
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 3
scared and lonely
I'm trying to get some help so that I don't lose my family, my business, my life, etc. I never mean to get completely blotto, but one drink leads to the whole bottle. I'm scared. Really scared. I can't go to an inpatient detox because I own my own business and I will lose all of my customers if I go away for a month. I really want to quit drinking and have a real life. I'm afraid that I'm already too far gone, though. I don't know what to do.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 223
How much and how long have you been drinking? Does your family know? I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. Our addictions make us feel so isolated, that's all part of it. You feel lonely so you drink then you feel alone because of the drinking. A vicious cycle of destruction. Tell me, is there anyone who can support you in a home detox? But first, what's the gravity of the problem?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by breegirl 
I'm trying to get some help so that I don't lose my family, my business, my life, etc. I never mean to get completely blotto, but one drink leads to the whole bottle. I'm scared. Really scared. I can't go to an inpatient detox because I own my own business and I will lose all of my customers if I go away for a month. I really want to quit drinking and have a real life. I'm afraid that I'm already too far gone, though. I don't know what to do.
Have you attended AA meetings in your area?
All the best.
Bob R
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: sacramento california
Posts: 217
you haven't gone too far; you came here and I have found lots of support here; I had 12 days sober and relapsed; I learned some of my triggers and figured out that I have keep my focus on me if I want soberity; and the only thing I have to do today is work on staying sober today; you can do it, you have a lot to live for
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 223
Originally Posted by 2granddaughters
Is the fear of losing business more important than recovery?
Have you attended AA meetings in your area?
All the best.
Bob R
Have you attended AA meetings in your area?
All the best.
Bob R
All is Change
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,282
Will you really lose all your customers?
Obviously drinking is one way.
I think this is a common 'dilemma'. Get sober and get life (and goodwill through good deeds) or drink and lose everything.
Is there any way you can appoint a temporary replacement for your self while taking time out to get sober?
Obviously drinking is one way.
I think this is a common 'dilemma'. Get sober and get life (and goodwill through good deeds) or drink and lose everything.
Is there any way you can appoint a temporary replacement for your self while taking time out to get sober?
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Bree:
Have you explored options in your area for other detox/rehab plans? Many have outpatient programs now. As others have mentioned, there are many other support groups available as well for post-detox recovery. The main thing is that you need to make the decision to quit first. Then form a plan that works for you.
It is possible that inpatient detox might be necessary, but not a certaintly. Seek help from a medical professional first and they can help you decide what the best course is.
Regarding your business, you will most likely lose it anyway if you continue with your drinking. So 30 days off might not be the end of the world for you, even though it seems like it now.
Best of luck and stay with us here, we welcome you to SR
Have you explored options in your area for other detox/rehab plans? Many have outpatient programs now. As others have mentioned, there are many other support groups available as well for post-detox recovery. The main thing is that you need to make the decision to quit first. Then form a plan that works for you.
It is possible that inpatient detox might be necessary, but not a certaintly. Seek help from a medical professional first and they can help you decide what the best course is.
Regarding your business, you will most likely lose it anyway if you continue with your drinking. So 30 days off might not be the end of the world for you, even though it seems like it now.
Best of luck and stay with us here, we welcome you to SR
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 19
Bree
I too am early on in recovery (day 14) and have my own business. Rehab is not a possibility for everyone.
Go to a doctor and tell them your situation. Get to AA, Celebrate Recovery, or some other support group ASAP. You can do this!
Go to a doctor and tell them your situation. Get to AA, Celebrate Recovery, or some other support group ASAP. You can do this!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
A medically supervised home detox is possible but it's advised that you have someone with you in case you need urgent care during w/d.
Call your doctor and tell them you want to quit drinking but need help getting safely thru w/d.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by leastofthese
Rehab is not a possibility for everyone.
Maybe my priorities are mixed up but I place life and recovery over money.
I remember an old joke where the mugger jumped out with a gun in an alley and shouted "Your money or your life !!"
The victim replied "Take my life .. I need my money for my old age".
I was in detox/rehab/AA with every manner of professional person. First things first.
All the best.
Bob R
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by 2granddaughters
If rehab were "necessary" would it then be a possibility?
Maybe my priorities are mixed up but I place life and recovery over money.
I remember an old joke where the mugger jumped out with a gun in an alley and shouted "Your money or your life !!"
The victim replied "Take my life .. I need my money for my old age".
I was in detox/rehab/AA with every manner of professional person. First things first.
Bob R
Maybe my priorities are mixed up but I place life and recovery over money.
I remember an old joke where the mugger jumped out with a gun in an alley and shouted "Your money or your life !!"
The victim replied "Take my life .. I need my money for my old age".
I was in detox/rehab/AA with every manner of professional person. First things first.
Bob R
Just because you had to go through it doesn't mean everyone does. I'm glad it worked for you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Southern Spain
Posts: 355
Rehab is all well and good, but it won't keep you sober. It may give you a bit of clean time, but when you leave, that's when the work starts. Take me. I did 6.5 months of rehab in 2001. I left to enjoy my new found freedom. And was kicked out of the place that I had found to live in within 2 week for blacking out and damaging their property.
You are definitely not too far gone! However, the time may well arrive when you just wont care anymore. So you need to act now. If you are an alcoholic of my sort you are suffering from an incurable illness/disease/malady/allergy for which there is no known cure. It is also a progressive problem, that over any amount of time will become worse, not better. There is however a way out. It's not easy, but it is very simple. You have to commit yourself, from the very depths of your being, to not taking a drink irrespective and regardless of what is happening in your life. Rain, shine, rich, poor, unloved, loved, job, no job etc etc etc. You will probably not be able to do this on your own. You may achieve some sober time, but you are the problem. And therefore you are the worst person to listen to or take advice from with regards to drinking alcohol.
I no longer attend AA (because where I live have no English speaking meetings). However, going to AA was the best thing that I have ever done, and I will always be grateful for AA. Some people go and feel that they have 'come home'. Some find certain aspects of AA hard to accept/deal with. However, persistence is the key, as you need to get as much sober time under your belt as possible. Allow other people who know about alcoholism to show and guide you in to a sober life. You then, when sober fora while can pass on the message to others and be of use and service.
You are definitely not too far gone! However, the time may well arrive when you just wont care anymore. So you need to act now. If you are an alcoholic of my sort you are suffering from an incurable illness/disease/malady/allergy for which there is no known cure. It is also a progressive problem, that over any amount of time will become worse, not better. There is however a way out. It's not easy, but it is very simple. You have to commit yourself, from the very depths of your being, to not taking a drink irrespective and regardless of what is happening in your life. Rain, shine, rich, poor, unloved, loved, job, no job etc etc etc. You will probably not be able to do this on your own. You may achieve some sober time, but you are the problem. And therefore you are the worst person to listen to or take advice from with regards to drinking alcohol.
I no longer attend AA (because where I live have no English speaking meetings). However, going to AA was the best thing that I have ever done, and I will always be grateful for AA. Some people go and feel that they have 'come home'. Some find certain aspects of AA hard to accept/deal with. However, persistence is the key, as you need to get as much sober time under your belt as possible. Allow other people who know about alcoholism to show and guide you in to a sober life. You then, when sober fora while can pass on the message to others and be of use and service.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Spokane
Posts: 66
You are NEVER to far gone!! You have to dig the will power and strength from deep within you. Let your loved ones know what's going on and that you will need support through your recovery. Make your recovery and sobriety #1. I'm not sure on how to quit or taper down from alcohol as alcohol is not my personal cup of tea so to speak BUT, I DO KNOW that it is NEVER to late. As long as your heart is still beating, it's never to late!!! Welcome and good luck 
Every Mother's Worst Nightmare
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Deep in the heart of LaLa land
Posts: 688
Bree
There are other options for you. Self-employment throws up its own challenges and it annoys me when people throw absolutes around. Recovery is about the whole person and sometimes our carefully nurtured business is an intrinsic part of that recovery.
I'd look in to outpatient rehab options if you can. If you're disciplined about it, you should be able to structure your day well allowing time for you to meet client obligations while more importantly giving precious focus to your recovery goal.
I wish you all the best,
NT
There are other options for you. Self-employment throws up its own challenges and it annoys me when people throw absolutes around. Recovery is about the whole person and sometimes our carefully nurtured business is an intrinsic part of that recovery.
I'd look in to outpatient rehab options if you can. If you're disciplined about it, you should be able to structure your day well allowing time for you to meet client obligations while more importantly giving precious focus to your recovery goal.
I wish you all the best,
NT
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 339
Bree, you are still alive so it is never too late!! Not sure what you have all tried but if all else has failed (out-patient, AA, AVRT, relapse recovery...) maybe rehab is what you need. I went and was there with another guy that owned his own business. Without getting sober he would lose it all. People take off for medical reasons. If you were battling an illness that was going to kill you people would understand, right. Alcohol will kill you so do what you need to do to get sober.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 223
Originally Posted by FamilyMan2153
Bree, you are still alive so it is never too late!! Not sure what you have all tried but if all else has failed (out-patient, AA, AVRT, relapse recovery...) maybe rehab is what you need. I went and was there with another guy that owned his own business. Without getting sober he would lose it all. People take off for medical reasons. If you were battling an illness that was going to kill you people would understand, right. Alcohol will kill you so do what you need to do to get sober.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
Hi and welcome Bree
I definitely agree its never too late - you'll find a lot of support here too
Outside of rehabs, there's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.
D
I definitely agree its never too late - you'll find a lot of support here too
Outside of rehabs, there's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.
D
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