BeckyC

I've spent the last year or so on a roller coaster ride with "the man of my dreams". My best friend. The man I was going to spend my life with. He was a functioning addict, working 12 hour days 6 days a week (yes, I checked his time sheets) he had been battling an addiction to oxy for a while, and Was trying to convince me he was clean. About 3 weeks ago, I discovered he hadn't paid rent and told out manager not to tell me. He hasn't paid any bills, had blown all of our money and lost his job and there was nothing left. He begged me to stay, that he would fix it, but the protective mother in me came out and I have him the boot. I'm now left with an eviction notice, no money, a very part time job and a hefty rent for an appartment I cannot afford. He has checked himself into an inpatient recovery center. He's been there for 2 weeks.

Just like everyone else on here, I'm angry. Im left to clean up the mess he made and struggling to feed my children (who, btw, are not his). What hurts the most is the fact that he made ME feel guilty for accusing him of using. I would question myself as his partner. Our closeness was suffering badly and I constantly went back and forth feeling like it was my fault and then realizing it was because something felt wrong to me and deep down I knew it.

I just need to hear that there is hope. He made the choice to go into his program and makes the choice to stay there daily. Is there ANYONE at all who has come out on the happy side after addiction? I miss the man I fell in love with so badly. My kids miss him. But I'm terrified if he ever comes back it will be the same song and dance. I can't subject my kids to that.

Dee74

Hi Becky - I'm sorry for what bought you here but I'm glad you've found us - there's a lot of support here.

For what it's worth I think you made the right decison - it's a decision any mother would make.

I recommend you check out the Family and Friends forums too - lots of experience and support down there as well

D

BeckyC

Thank you dee74. It's funny I read through these threads and it all sounds so familiar. But it all seems to end badly. It's terrifying.

Skyhawk172

Hey Becky,

Sorry to hear about your situation. That sucks!

I'm sure you know this already, but exposing your children to that level of dysfunction is never a good thing. Your first responsibility is to yourself and your children, not to him. I'd agree you did the right thing!

It is natural to want to be hopeful, but having myself been in the position of trying to fix someone who didn't want to help themselves, it isn't a pretty sight. It's okay to hope for the best, but I'd also be honest with yourself and prepare for the worst as well.