Oldie, newbie, nothing - who knows?
 

I will try and be concise. I was sober, for 6 years or something. Cravings increased in intensity over past year. Had a few sips of alcohol over the past few weeks.

I don't know what is my problem. I'm prone to just about every unhealthy coping mechanism that there is. I picked AAas it was logistically the easiest. I did a little OA and NA too. I've got a mental health history as long as my arm. Did a year in private therapy, worked great till it didn't work any more. AA was good, until I quit.

I've just moved across the county so need to start fresh but where?

Hesitant to go back to AA, asking family for help just feels wrong (stupid really, my mum has been in AA for 20 years).

No one (family, husband, doctor) takes me seriously. Maybe I take myself too seriously?

No one can fix me I know, this is my responsibility. I've been here too many times before, I just don't know if I even want things to change. I want to climb into my pit and drown myself with drink/drugs/food etc but I've got kids.

That was my attempt at being concise :-(

This sounds like an echo of your November post.

You are right. This is your responsibility. More importantly, you have others who depend on you. So do what worked for you before. Quit dwelling on the negative. Spend a couple of days posting to SR and get back in the recovery groove. Not sure what more to say. You were sober 6 years, I think you know what to do.

I had a bit of that once. I was sober for about 8 years. But I forgot something in the last year and a half of that period that I can now see made the relapse very much on the cards, so I've had to figure out what that was and not forget it again. Joining SR and the effect that has in my life in general makes me feel pretty good about being able to face a similar situation again should it recur.
Every day presents itself with an endless series of forks in the road. I think alcoholics are wise to take the road less often travelled, a pro sobriety choice, which can often mean pausing to take stock.

Welcome back! I'm glad you're giving it another go.:hug:

Very happy to see you back here, odaat. We have the same join date. :) It took me awhile, too. Glad you want to talk about it again and see where it takes you.

I'm going to a meeting on Monday, babysitter and lift arranged.

Wonderful. But Monday is almost a week away. I hope you will post to SR and use this forum as a stop gap until the meeting.

Hang in there!

I get to as many AA meetings as I can, not the least.

The meetings keep me sober and address those "mental health" issues that I wrestled with for years.

All the best.

Bob R

Welcome back ODAAT

many times I found myself knowing what I should do, but simply unable or unwilling to do it.

My addiction loved that kind of inaction.

Your feet may feel like lead, that phone may weigh 500 pounds, that meeting may seem to have a force field around it....you may feel like nothing better but curling up in bed and hoping it all goes away....but you're fighting for yourself here.

You're worth the effort.
Break the impasse :)

D