Hiss

Hello
I'm new...

At the breaking point with my sister. We live with our elderly mom and while I have escaped the alcohol legacy in our family, my sister has been struggling with it for several decades and progressively getting worse.

This is her second time trying to get sober. The first attempt about 7 years ago was a disaster due to 2 things: she never stopped lying to herself and the ease of dropping out. I am afraid this new program will be equally disastrous as she is still drinking and lying about it.

Tonight, I literally caught her with a Gatorade bottle that was 1/2 vodka. She stood on the floor and denied it. Said she didn't do it, despite the fact that there is just the 3 of us here and mom and I are virtual teetotalers.

I can't take the lying. I can't stand to watch her destroy herself. Not sure what to do. My father was a raging alcoholic and violent. While I've addressed my issues with him in therapy, my sister did not. She referred to me as the "F'd up one". I know from my father that interventions don't work. I have no idea what to do. I'm thinking of a sobriety contract, but I can't trust her.

She lies about everything, even silly things that are meaningless.
I am not sure if I will post. May just lurk for awhile and see what's going on here.

shauninspain

Many thanks for your post. I was certainly a compulsive liar. Even when there was no need to lie, I still did! There is a section on SR for family of alcoholics I believe. You will get a lot of support/information there. So have a good read and post as much as possible.

As bad as being an active drinker was, I believe that it was probably worse for my family. At least I had the sedative of alcohol to numb my shame/guilt/worry etc etc. They didn't.

There is of course AlAnon. Which are like AA, but for family members. There will be groups in your local vicinity. I would certainly recommend getting help and support from them as well as on here.

Al the very best to you.

least

I'm sorry for your bad situation but hope that we can give you support to get thru this without losing your cool. Do take a look at the friends and family forum for additional insight.

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

sugarbear1

I agree with getting to Al Anon.

You have a lot going on there, maybe it's time to get some in person support at those Al Anon meetings?

Impurrfect

Welcome to SR!!

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Hiss

Thanks for the replies. Looked up al-anon as well. But I've always been much better with writing where I have time to compose my thoughts, than in person meetings where I have to be spontaneous. So I will do both. Although I know that this will cause another fight between us as my sister believes that I am betraying her by talking to others about this.

She has but me in the position of either being the enabler or the b****h. I will not be the former, so I am the latter. Something she can be made at and hate. I have seen the section for family/friends and will be reading through the threads. But, thanks for the welcome. It's much appreciated.

Dee74

welcome to SR Hiss.
I know you'll find support and a lot of ideas here

D

Hevyn

Glad to have you with us, Hiss. It's good to have a place to come where everyone understands. I hope you'll find the help and encouragement you need to cope with this situation.