Son abusing alcohol and ativan everyday,shold I call his Doctor?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 2
Son abusing alcohol and ativan everyday,shold I call his Doctor?
My 36 year old son who lives on his own has always had anxiety and depression starting in his teen age years. He has been in two rehabs,once in his teenage years and a 9 month stay a couple of years ago.
Last month he was having a hard time breathing and a panic attack. He called me to take him to the hospital. I took him to the ER and they seen how sick he was and started testing on him with all kinds of blood test and cat scan and xrays.
The outcome is that they said he has COPD and was dehydrated.
They IV hydrated him and told him to see a primary doctor for the COPD.
This is what I need your advise on..his primary doctor put him on a srong antidepprent and ativan for panic attacks. His doctor dosen't know he is a alcoholic and has abused other drugs in his past.
I was upset when he told me what his doctored orderd but he promiced he would not mix the three and he has it all under control.
Well, its been all down hill since then, its been non stop him overdosing on the pills drinking it down with huge amount a beer then call me and other friends and tries to sound normal. He is barely able to talk and keeps falling down. He has done things that he dosen't remember, hurtful things, his friends are all worried about him and call to tell me. I am worried sick.
I found the name of his primary doctor. Should I call his doctor and tell on him. I don't know if the doctor will even talk to me, but maybe if he knew how bad my son is doing,he'll listen to me. I know its the mixing of the ativan and the beer plus the antdepressent thats killing him. My son gets mad at me because I told him his doctor needs to know the truth.
What are your thoughts on this subject, I know its interfering in his life and I understand detaching from his choices but this is to hard, I feel like I am watching my 36 yr old son slowly kill himself.
Last month he was having a hard time breathing and a panic attack. He called me to take him to the hospital. I took him to the ER and they seen how sick he was and started testing on him with all kinds of blood test and cat scan and xrays.
The outcome is that they said he has COPD and was dehydrated.
They IV hydrated him and told him to see a primary doctor for the COPD.
This is what I need your advise on..his primary doctor put him on a srong antidepprent and ativan for panic attacks. His doctor dosen't know he is a alcoholic and has abused other drugs in his past.
I was upset when he told me what his doctored orderd but he promiced he would not mix the three and he has it all under control.
Well, its been all down hill since then, its been non stop him overdosing on the pills drinking it down with huge amount a beer then call me and other friends and tries to sound normal. He is barely able to talk and keeps falling down. He has done things that he dosen't remember, hurtful things, his friends are all worried about him and call to tell me. I am worried sick.
I found the name of his primary doctor. Should I call his doctor and tell on him. I don't know if the doctor will even talk to me, but maybe if he knew how bad my son is doing,he'll listen to me. I know its the mixing of the ativan and the beer plus the antdepressent thats killing him. My son gets mad at me because I told him his doctor needs to know the truth.
What are your thoughts on this subject, I know its interfering in his life and I understand detaching from his choices but this is to hard, I feel like I am watching my 36 yr old son slowly kill himself.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi HoldingonTight - welcome.
I can only imagine how hard it must be to watch a love one destroy themselves.
I wish it was possible for our love to heal them - but often, it just doesn't work that way.
Healing needs to come from inside your son - he has to want to change, and believe he can.
The raw truth is - you can call his Dr, you can speak directly to your son...but it may not change anything - it's your call, but it may even drive a further wedge between you two.
What you can do is look after yourself and educate yourself on what you can do for yourself in this situation.
Al Anon is a great resource and support network many people use - I can also heartily recommend our Family and Friends forums for more support.
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
D
I can only imagine how hard it must be to watch a love one destroy themselves.
I wish it was possible for our love to heal them - but often, it just doesn't work that way.
Healing needs to come from inside your son - he has to want to change, and believe he can.
The raw truth is - you can call his Dr, you can speak directly to your son...but it may not change anything - it's your call, but it may even drive a further wedge between you two.
What you can do is look after yourself and educate yourself on what you can do for yourself in this situation.
Al Anon is a great resource and support network many people use - I can also heartily recommend our Family and Friends forums for more support.
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
D
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
I hope there is a Dr on there that will speak to this, because it's a very tricky situation.
I mean does HIPPA, the privacy thing, work both ways?
Real life Dr's aren't like House, they don't get their friends together and break into people's lives and invade their privacy to sleuth out backround information, but on the other hand, the honest input of family members CAN be the difference between life and death.
With your son being as old as he is, I really have no idea if a cold call to a Dr who doesn't know you would help. I mean, if you call the Dr cannot even acknowledge that your son is their patient. THAT is protected by law.
I mean, anyone could start calling anyone's Dr with information, true or false that could ultimately impact their medical care...to their benefit or demise.
Your son is ultimately responsible for himself, including what info he shares or doesn't share with care providers, how he uses or abuses substances etc.
It is beyond devestating to watch a loved one killing themselves and be powerless to stop them. I do hope you will take Dee's suggestion to get into Al-Anon or some other support program for family members, because it can help YOU so much.
I mean does HIPPA, the privacy thing, work both ways?
Real life Dr's aren't like House, they don't get their friends together and break into people's lives and invade their privacy to sleuth out backround information, but on the other hand, the honest input of family members CAN be the difference between life and death.
With your son being as old as he is, I really have no idea if a cold call to a Dr who doesn't know you would help. I mean, if you call the Dr cannot even acknowledge that your son is their patient. THAT is protected by law.
I mean, anyone could start calling anyone's Dr with information, true or false that could ultimately impact their medical care...to their benefit or demise.
Your son is ultimately responsible for himself, including what info he shares or doesn't share with care providers, how he uses or abuses substances etc.
It is beyond devestating to watch a loved one killing themselves and be powerless to stop them. I do hope you will take Dee's suggestion to get into Al-Anon or some other support program for family members, because it can help YOU so much.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
to SR.
I hope your son can decide he wants to get help. If he doesn't want help there's not much you can do. Please get some support for yourself tho, it's rough watching loved ones destroying themselves.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Rehabs are only good if the addict continues on with recovery. If not, they are only stop-gap measures.
Rehab is NOT recovery, it spin-dries you so you are receptive to recovery.
You are watching a 36 yrs old train wreck happening in slow motion. It is very painful.
Are you attending Al-Anon meetings?
All the best.
Bob R
Rehab is NOT recovery, it spin-dries you so you are receptive to recovery.
You are watching a 36 yrs old train wreck happening in slow motion. It is very painful.
Are you attending Al-Anon meetings?
All the best.
Bob R
Marchia in Aeternum
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,094
While all the advice to care for yourself is valid, I think you should call his doctor. I would also talk to a lawyer and see if, where you live, you can have him involuntarily treated. My sister looked in to that for me. She was going to have me declared a danger to myself and others, and then committed.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 2
I went to al anon many years ago and know in my heart what and what not to do, but it dosen't get any easier. I keep praying for him but thats even getting confusing. I want him healed but what will it take to have that happen, only God knows.
Exceptance is a simple word but So very hard when it comes to the health, life, death or prison for your loved one....again, God only knows.
I HAVE to learn to Trust in God and put my sons life in His hands. I have tried everything to help him and it was only hurting him because it has prolonged him hitting bottom and deciding he dosen't like living down there.
Thank you all for your wise words and support. I know I'll be back.
Exceptance is a simple word but So very hard when it comes to the health, life, death or prison for your loved one....again, God only knows.
I HAVE to learn to Trust in God and put my sons life in His hands. I have tried everything to help him and it was only hurting him because it has prolonged him hitting bottom and deciding he dosen't like living down there.
Thank you all for your wise words and support. I know I'll be back.
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