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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 26
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Hi everyone,
Just wanted to shortly introduce myself before I start posting in other threads.
I have been abstaining for 5 days now, longest I have stayed dry since well over a year.
I was drinking every evening for the past 17 months with vain attempts at stopping for a few days here and there. I relapsed after a dry period of 6 months following outpatient detox program in 2011. I can attest that this relapse kept me drinking to a point that was worse before I got dry. I had problems with alcohol for over a decade and was in denial for years. I am 35 now.
When I returned to drinking late 2011 it felt manageable at first, once every 2 weeks I would "allow myself" something to drink just casually. Within 2 months I was back to drinking a bottle of wine 5 days a week. And from there on it just devolved into full-blown alcoholism again, with daily drinking of 1-2 bottles of wine or a 12 pack of beer almost every day, less only when I felt too hungover, but never less than a 6 pack or a bottle of wine. Recently, it got to the point where I started drinking earlier on days I worked from home and didn't have to go into the office and the amounts were becoming scary... 12 beers a night on average for "maintenance" or close to two bottles of wine. More on weekends. Short term memory was really becoming fragmented, frequent black outs, facial discoloration, sweating all day long, shaking in the morning (never had that before), drinking to "cure" really bad hangovers seemed to have become a daily routine, etc. It was just incredibly self destructive and ugly and quickly turning worse...
For months I had been telling myself I should quit but never found the courage or resolve, always had excuses to keep drinking or pick up again after two days. Especially in the company of certain people who had/have the same problem as I have. Being so tired of the shame and paranoia, fear of being exposed at work, losing friends and beloved ones who would not be so understanding the second time around, seeing my health deteriorate by the day and becoming a hermit made me finally take the step. As well as a very interesting new venture at work AND a new hobby finally made it click and last weekend I had my last (fairly moderate) amount of alcohol.
Past 5 days were physically rough, withdrawals were like a mild flu and somewhat discombobulated at times but mentally I felt clarity and strength returning almost immediately. I still feel physically weak, tired, look worn, have itches and dry eyes, etc. Seeing my GP on Tuesday for full bloodwork.
Work provided a great distraction and boost and shall do so for the "most difficult months" ahead. Friends and family and new hobbies provide a strong incentive to stay sober as a support until I have found the new groove and stay sober for me and hopefully for ever. I am thinking of going to AA or another support group as well, just to be prepared for the inevitable dark days and weaker moments ahead.
The emotional and mental sways, instable moods and nights crying when drunk already seem like a distant fog. From experience I know I am just at the beginning. It took me about 6 weeks last time to feel normal after detoxing... and I also know I have to be vigilant and very disciplined to keep this up, especially with warmer weather approaching. Negotiations in my head because it is Friday evening but I quickly dismissed the nagging of AV because I really want my museum visit tomorrow to be clearheaded and not hungover/nauseous as they have been in the past year
Hot bath, herbal tea and a good book for me before I turn in early and rise to a sober weekend!
Wish me luck. Sorry for the long post... I have been reading here for a year and finally feel confident enough to post something. Thanks for reading and hope to be able to help others here as well.
Just wanted to shortly introduce myself before I start posting in other threads.
I have been abstaining for 5 days now, longest I have stayed dry since well over a year.
I was drinking every evening for the past 17 months with vain attempts at stopping for a few days here and there. I relapsed after a dry period of 6 months following outpatient detox program in 2011. I can attest that this relapse kept me drinking to a point that was worse before I got dry. I had problems with alcohol for over a decade and was in denial for years. I am 35 now.
When I returned to drinking late 2011 it felt manageable at first, once every 2 weeks I would "allow myself" something to drink just casually. Within 2 months I was back to drinking a bottle of wine 5 days a week. And from there on it just devolved into full-blown alcoholism again, with daily drinking of 1-2 bottles of wine or a 12 pack of beer almost every day, less only when I felt too hungover, but never less than a 6 pack or a bottle of wine. Recently, it got to the point where I started drinking earlier on days I worked from home and didn't have to go into the office and the amounts were becoming scary... 12 beers a night on average for "maintenance" or close to two bottles of wine. More on weekends. Short term memory was really becoming fragmented, frequent black outs, facial discoloration, sweating all day long, shaking in the morning (never had that before), drinking to "cure" really bad hangovers seemed to have become a daily routine, etc. It was just incredibly self destructive and ugly and quickly turning worse...
For months I had been telling myself I should quit but never found the courage or resolve, always had excuses to keep drinking or pick up again after two days. Especially in the company of certain people who had/have the same problem as I have. Being so tired of the shame and paranoia, fear of being exposed at work, losing friends and beloved ones who would not be so understanding the second time around, seeing my health deteriorate by the day and becoming a hermit made me finally take the step. As well as a very interesting new venture at work AND a new hobby finally made it click and last weekend I had my last (fairly moderate) amount of alcohol.
Past 5 days were physically rough, withdrawals were like a mild flu and somewhat discombobulated at times but mentally I felt clarity and strength returning almost immediately. I still feel physically weak, tired, look worn, have itches and dry eyes, etc. Seeing my GP on Tuesday for full bloodwork.
Work provided a great distraction and boost and shall do so for the "most difficult months" ahead. Friends and family and new hobbies provide a strong incentive to stay sober as a support until I have found the new groove and stay sober for me and hopefully for ever. I am thinking of going to AA or another support group as well, just to be prepared for the inevitable dark days and weaker moments ahead.
The emotional and mental sways, instable moods and nights crying when drunk already seem like a distant fog. From experience I know I am just at the beginning. It took me about 6 weeks last time to feel normal after detoxing... and I also know I have to be vigilant and very disciplined to keep this up, especially with warmer weather approaching. Negotiations in my head because it is Friday evening but I quickly dismissed the nagging of AV because I really want my museum visit tomorrow to be clearheaded and not hungover/nauseous as they have been in the past year
Hot bath, herbal tea and a good book for me before I turn in early and rise to a sober weekend!Wish me luck. Sorry for the long post... I have been reading here for a year and finally feel confident enough to post something. Thanks for reading and hope to be able to help others here as well.
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,506
Hi cleargoals. Thank you for sharing your story - and congratulations on your 5 days sober.
It sounds like you're determined to get your life back in order. I don't know why we think we're somehow enhancing things with that poison. You will now be free to enjoy your days with eyes wide open - not foggy or numb. Glad you are here.
It sounds like you're determined to get your life back in order. I don't know why we think we're somehow enhancing things with that poison. You will now be free to enjoy your days with eyes wide open - not foggy or numb. Glad you are here.
Congrats on your five days sober. That's a good start to a better way of life.Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 26
Thanks everyone for the words of encouragement. The museum visit was wonderful and so much better without a hangover (Capt. Obvious speaking here). Last night (saturday) spent the evening with non-drinking friends. This morning I woke up with a smile on my face. Easter here is 2 days, meaning tomorrow I have a day off. Not missing the alcohol, no cravings.
@Bob R : After 8 weeks outpatient detox, which included group meetings and mandatory abstinence, I managed to stay dry for 6 months by sheer willpower and the support of a good non-drinking friend with whom I stayed for a while. When I went back to live at my own again, I was back to drinking within a few weeks... I neglected to think of a long -term strategy and it proved that my willpower had very limited mileage.
I am only in my first week now and even though it is going well and above expectations, I am looking into support group options in my region.
@Bob R : After 8 weeks outpatient detox, which included group meetings and mandatory abstinence, I managed to stay dry for 6 months by sheer willpower and the support of a good non-drinking friend with whom I stayed for a while. When I went back to live at my own again, I was back to drinking within a few weeks... I neglected to think of a long -term strategy and it proved that my willpower had very limited mileage.
I am only in my first week now and even though it is going well and above expectations, I am looking into support group options in my region.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by cleargoals 
@Bob R : After 8 weeks outpatient detox, which included group meetings and mandatory abstinence, I managed to stay dry for 6 months by sheer willpower and the support of a good non-drinking friend with whom I stayed for a while. When I went back to live at my own again, I was back to drinking within a few weeks... I neglected to think of a long -term strategy and it proved that my willpower had very limited mileage.
I am only in my first week now and even though it is going well and above expectations, I am looking into support group options in my region.
Yes, my willpower had limited mileage as well... I could quit but I couldn't stay quit.
When I quit on my own in the past it became clear rather quickly that I didn't know how to live sober.
I needed more than a "support group". I needed an overhaul in my life and AA gave me the strength and direction to get on solid ground re: abstinence/spiritual/mental/emotional healing.
All the best.
Bob R
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 26
Thank you Bob. It is very encouraging to see those who have managed to become and stay sober for such a long time and found their salvation with AA, or whatever means. Thanks again for sharing.
I used support group as a collective term for AA and the likes (even though as I understand it some people feel there is only AA - which is fine of course, whatever helps).
7 days dry now and withstood cravings last night. Patterns are so recognisable. Instead of giving in or letting it overtake me, I binged on sweet/sour candy. And drank liters of sparkling water and herbal tea... like the addict I am. Weird thing is, mentally it felt very similar to a night of drinking and this morning, sober awakening, I thought about how last night, despite not drinking, almost felt the same as doing so, psychologically. It was a test and a reminder.
I gave the AA option a lot of thought. For now I feel not entirely comfortable with groups yet because "working" on my sobriety being around others who are (struggling) as well is a big trigger for me, atm. Hearing war stories or listening to people who had just relapsed, etc. has in the past proven to sustain my twisted thought that it is "ok and normal" to slip or relapse because I am an alcoholic and it is all part of the deal, that it is ok. I need some time for myself to get a tighter grip before I can actively become part of such a program/routine involving others.
I have no problem identifying myself as a serious alcoholic and facing the consequences and what has to be done.
I do (still) have a problem with being part of a group that affirms my identity, one that I am fighting to leave behind.
I realize for some this might sound like being in denial or finding excuses. It might sound arrogant or naïve. With leaving behind my alcoholic life I don't mean I won't be vigilant or forget that I am an alcoholic for life who can not drink. I am not too proud for AA. I just find it does work better for me to focus on positivity, future goals and doing good in daily life, small and beautiful things, instead of focussing on past troubles and problems. I do not want to feed that part of me as giving it too much attention will make it grow. Believe me when I say I have been in therapy/counselling/etc. throughout almost my entire life so there is no lack of insight. I just feel that at the end of the day all this talk and analysis and understanding is wonderful but living it, doing, acting is the only way forward. Talking about alcoholism in a group every week, or day even, will not keep me sober in the long term. Because after all is said and done and I return home, it is I who sit here and find the strength to think about tomorrow and not drink. It is I who has to order coffee instead of beer at some remote airport lounge, waiting for a delayed flight far away from AA. It is I who has to skip the fine wine at a wonderful, heartwarming (family) dinner where everyone indulges.
For now that is. When the day arrives that I find myself losing it, I will pick up not that drink but the phone. I have the local AA number saved in my contacts.
I used support group as a collective term for AA and the likes (even though as I understand it some people feel there is only AA - which is fine of course, whatever helps).
7 days dry now and withstood cravings last night. Patterns are so recognisable. Instead of giving in or letting it overtake me, I binged on sweet/sour candy. And drank liters of sparkling water and herbal tea... like the addict I am. Weird thing is, mentally it felt very similar to a night of drinking and this morning, sober awakening, I thought about how last night, despite not drinking, almost felt the same as doing so, psychologically. It was a test and a reminder.
I gave the AA option a lot of thought. For now I feel not entirely comfortable with groups yet because "working" on my sobriety being around others who are (struggling) as well is a big trigger for me, atm. Hearing war stories or listening to people who had just relapsed, etc. has in the past proven to sustain my twisted thought that it is "ok and normal" to slip or relapse because I am an alcoholic and it is all part of the deal, that it is ok. I need some time for myself to get a tighter grip before I can actively become part of such a program/routine involving others.
I have no problem identifying myself as a serious alcoholic and facing the consequences and what has to be done.
I do (still) have a problem with being part of a group that affirms my identity, one that I am fighting to leave behind.
I realize for some this might sound like being in denial or finding excuses. It might sound arrogant or naïve. With leaving behind my alcoholic life I don't mean I won't be vigilant or forget that I am an alcoholic for life who can not drink. I am not too proud for AA. I just find it does work better for me to focus on positivity, future goals and doing good in daily life, small and beautiful things, instead of focussing on past troubles and problems. I do not want to feed that part of me as giving it too much attention will make it grow. Believe me when I say I have been in therapy/counselling/etc. throughout almost my entire life so there is no lack of insight. I just feel that at the end of the day all this talk and analysis and understanding is wonderful but living it, doing, acting is the only way forward. Talking about alcoholism in a group every week, or day even, will not keep me sober in the long term. Because after all is said and done and I return home, it is I who sit here and find the strength to think about tomorrow and not drink. It is I who has to order coffee instead of beer at some remote airport lounge, waiting for a delayed flight far away from AA. It is I who has to skip the fine wine at a wonderful, heartwarming (family) dinner where everyone indulges.
For now that is. When the day arrives that I find myself losing it, I will pick up not that drink but the phone. I have the local AA number saved in my contacts.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 26
So yeah... it happened last night. 11 days in and it happened.
There was no dramatic reason, huge trigger, massive cravings or big mental game preceding my usage. So what happened?
1. I had felt exhausted every day since quitting. The kind of tiredness you feel in your bones. Going to bed with it and waking up with it. I know this lasted about 3 weeks on my previous attempt. I have a 3-4 hour commute through traffic jams daily, back to back meetings almost all week and of course my household, cooking, etc in the evening when I get home. And it just felt like such a drag last night, I felt so tired it hurt and I was so sick and tired of feeling like that. But I was able to manage that for 11 days so why not last night?
2. I just seemed to be on auto-pilot all week and without much contemplation, while shopping for groceries last night I thought "just a six pack just tonight , just one break". And I almost robotically, automatically went to the aisle and saw they had a promotion for 12 packs for the price of a 6 pack and put it in my basket.
3. Got home, drank two, immediately felt "better" , drank more and by midnight had consumed 10.
So I failed. I failed not only to stay sober but also to moderate myself (no surprise there).
I do not feel hugely disappointed or dramatic about it. But I do see that this will take more, that exhaustion is a sneaky trigger (in the past triggers would always be something overly dramatic, stress or something so I am a bit surprised) and that I have to start over tomorrow (I never count hangover day as day 1).
I am documenting this here only as a reminder to myself and because I feel that I must be completely honest. Noonne knows and noone has to know, but by writing this here it feels like I somehow can hold myself responsible for slip ups and other failures, in my ongoing struggle towards sobriety.
There was no dramatic reason, huge trigger, massive cravings or big mental game preceding my usage. So what happened?
1. I had felt exhausted every day since quitting. The kind of tiredness you feel in your bones. Going to bed with it and waking up with it. I know this lasted about 3 weeks on my previous attempt. I have a 3-4 hour commute through traffic jams daily, back to back meetings almost all week and of course my household, cooking, etc in the evening when I get home. And it just felt like such a drag last night, I felt so tired it hurt and I was so sick and tired of feeling like that. But I was able to manage that for 11 days so why not last night?
2. I just seemed to be on auto-pilot all week and without much contemplation, while shopping for groceries last night I thought "just a six pack just tonight , just one break". And I almost robotically, automatically went to the aisle and saw they had a promotion for 12 packs for the price of a 6 pack and put it in my basket.
3. Got home, drank two, immediately felt "better" , drank more and by midnight had consumed 10.
So I failed. I failed not only to stay sober but also to moderate myself (no surprise there).
I do not feel hugely disappointed or dramatic about it. But I do see that this will take more, that exhaustion is a sneaky trigger (in the past triggers would always be something overly dramatic, stress or something so I am a bit surprised) and that I have to start over tomorrow (I never count hangover day as day 1).
I am documenting this here only as a reminder to myself and because I feel that I must be completely honest. Noonne knows and noone has to know, but by writing this here it feels like I somehow can hold myself responsible for slip ups and other failures, in my ongoing struggle towards sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,008
Hi Cleargoals.
Well done for your honesty. Maybe now is the time to re-think your plan on how to achieve long term sobriety?
Willpower alone is pretty tough, although I know it can be done. Why not read round these threads and look at the way others stayed sober? I stayed very close to SR in the early days, and its a big part of my daily routine even now.
Glad you're back with us x
Well done for your honesty. Maybe now is the time to re-think your plan on how to achieve long term sobriety?
Willpower alone is pretty tough, although I know it can be done. Why not read round these threads and look at the way others stayed sober? I stayed very close to SR in the early days, and its a big part of my daily routine even now.
Glad you're back with us x
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 26
Thank you for responding, Jeni26 and coraltint.
I am working today, so back to routine. And the weekend has already been planned in the company of non-drinking friends.
Also will give me some time to figure out/plan an approach to sustaining absitinence.
I have a business trip coming up in two weeks which will take me to a country that has ridiculously low prices on alcohol and a big drinking culture (and with business relations who like to indulge) so I need to have a solid foundation and strategy for those 3 nights.
Come to think of it, yesterday this trip was decided on and the first thought was "How will I stay sober there? Do I have to? It won't matter if I indulge there, everybody does it, it is far away and I am free there". Ugh...
Those thoughts of "underrating" usage might have even been the subconscious setup for last night's failure. *sigh*
Well, back to work now and onwards to a sober weekend.
I am working today, so back to routine. And the weekend has already been planned in the company of non-drinking friends.
Also will give me some time to figure out/plan an approach to sustaining absitinence.
I have a business trip coming up in two weeks which will take me to a country that has ridiculously low prices on alcohol and a big drinking culture (and with business relations who like to indulge) so I need to have a solid foundation and strategy for those 3 nights.
Come to think of it, yesterday this trip was decided on and the first thought was "How will I stay sober there? Do I have to? It won't matter if I indulge there, everybody does it, it is far away and I am free there". Ugh...
Those thoughts of "underrating" usage might have even been the subconscious setup for last night's failure. *sigh*
Well, back to work now and onwards to a sober weekend.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: US
Posts: 59
I found your post very human. On the wagon, off the wagon. Life tends to have more opportunities to take a leap off the wagon rather than staying on for the ride.
These first few days are horrible, I would agree. Flu like symptoms, back pains, lack of sleep, the overwhelming desire to just go to the liquor store...where they call you by name...and get something to ease the pain...psychological and physical.
Family and friends are supportive but are easily dismissed...they'd probably support you in almost any situation so their support sometimes seems ingenious. I toyed with the thought of an AA group but like you, I didn't want to hear all the war stories...or quite honestly, I didn't want to run into someone who might recognize me. Would that be a sign of weakness on my part...not being able to handle my problems on my own? I also didn't want to go and sit with a bunch of court-ordered attendees who didn't give a flip about changing their habits or helping me change mine.
I finally chose to go see a psychologist to help me get to the root of my drinking problem. I tried the first psych for two sessions and if she said "and how did that make you feel?" one more time, I was going to run straight to the liquor store just to deal with her. Next, I went to another psychologist that had come highly recommended. She was nice, a listener, I stayed with her for about 4 months before I decided that there was no great benefit/healing resulting from the sessions. Next, I went to a psychiatrist who referred me to her psychiatric nurse practitioner. We hit it off day one. She just knew what questions to ask. She guided the conversation in ways that I had never even considered. I am seeing real progress in dealing with my past, present and future. They say to shop around for the right car, doctor, and spouse...you should also do that with therapists.
This might not be for you. Seeking out help outside friends and family was difficult for me but has really been key in my decision making processes lately.
I'm just starting my sobriety journey and it has taken me a long time to get here.
These first few days are horrible, I would agree. Flu like symptoms, back pains, lack of sleep, the overwhelming desire to just go to the liquor store...where they call you by name...and get something to ease the pain...psychological and physical.
Family and friends are supportive but are easily dismissed...they'd probably support you in almost any situation so their support sometimes seems ingenious. I toyed with the thought of an AA group but like you, I didn't want to hear all the war stories...or quite honestly, I didn't want to run into someone who might recognize me. Would that be a sign of weakness on my part...not being able to handle my problems on my own? I also didn't want to go and sit with a bunch of court-ordered attendees who didn't give a flip about changing their habits or helping me change mine.
I finally chose to go see a psychologist to help me get to the root of my drinking problem. I tried the first psych for two sessions and if she said "and how did that make you feel?" one more time, I was going to run straight to the liquor store just to deal with her. Next, I went to another psychologist that had come highly recommended. She was nice, a listener, I stayed with her for about 4 months before I decided that there was no great benefit/healing resulting from the sessions. Next, I went to a psychiatrist who referred me to her psychiatric nurse practitioner. We hit it off day one. She just knew what questions to ask. She guided the conversation in ways that I had never even considered. I am seeing real progress in dealing with my past, present and future. They say to shop around for the right car, doctor, and spouse...you should also do that with therapists.
This might not be for you. Seeking out help outside friends and family was difficult for me but has really been key in my decision making processes lately.
I'm just starting my sobriety journey and it has taken me a long time to get here.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,312
sorry for the late welcome but it's good to have you here cleargoals.
To me, to get anywhere I had to have clear goals. I needed to make a clear commitment that I would not drink again.
I think if we don't have that the addicted side of us, the inner addict, will exploit that vagueness and use that ambivalence.
Recovery takes a leap of faith - it's scary - sure it's a little less scary to simply keep dipping our toes in the water but ultimately, we're still where we've been for years...on the shore.
Dive in cleargoals - there's a lot of support here - you're not alone
D
To me, to get anywhere I had to have clear goals. I needed to make a clear commitment that I would not drink again.
I think if we don't have that the addicted side of us, the inner addict, will exploit that vagueness and use that ambivalence.
Recovery takes a leap of faith - it's scary - sure it's a little less scary to simply keep dipping our toes in the water but ultimately, we're still where we've been for years...on the shore.
Dive in cleargoals - there's a lot of support here - you're not alone
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 26
Thank you Dee.
This weekend's activities and the company of non-drinkers are certainly going to help me to dive in. Metaphorically this weekend is like a springboard. I have a strong desire for sobriety and shall be working on it harder. My slip up and the resulting headache on Friday, being concerned and obsessed all day about my visage revealing indulgence the night before to coworkers, chewing gum all day and having an uncomfortable feeling in my gut, were BIG reminders of what I am trying to leave behind and how sneaky this addiction is, what to look out for and what I should do to counter enabling thoughtprocesses. There is no more room for negotiations.
@Geek : I am glad for you that you were able to find the right therapist. I have (too) much experience with them not working for me but to be honest I think in the past it was often I who was not working for me in a therapeutic setting. Never fully committed, found myself playing mind games (testing the therapist), or simply walking away from it after a few months of what felt like talk talk talk. My counsellor during detox even told me drinking is not my real problem, that I should get therapy for underlying personality issues. Of course she was right. I just can't afford it right now. It does help that I have a psychology doctor in the family but he can't / won't provide therapy as there is an obvious conflict of interest, lack of distance. But for the long term I recognise that's something I should do.
This weekend's activities and the company of non-drinkers are certainly going to help me to dive in. Metaphorically this weekend is like a springboard. I have a strong desire for sobriety and shall be working on it harder. My slip up and the resulting headache on Friday, being concerned and obsessed all day about my visage revealing indulgence the night before to coworkers, chewing gum all day and having an uncomfortable feeling in my gut, were BIG reminders of what I am trying to leave behind and how sneaky this addiction is, what to look out for and what I should do to counter enabling thoughtprocesses. There is no more room for negotiations.
@Geek : I am glad for you that you were able to find the right therapist. I have (too) much experience with them not working for me but to be honest I think in the past it was often I who was not working for me in a therapeutic setting. Never fully committed, found myself playing mind games (testing the therapist), or simply walking away from it after a few months of what felt like talk talk talk. My counsellor during detox even told me drinking is not my real problem, that I should get therapy for underlying personality issues. Of course she was right. I just can't afford it right now. It does help that I have a psychology doctor in the family but he can't / won't provide therapy as there is an obvious conflict of interest, lack of distance. But for the long term I recognise that's something I should do.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 26
Sober saturday and sunday with lots of very nice company and activities. As well as the first days that really did feel like Spring here in my part of the globe (NW continental Europe). Lots of soda, mineral water, tea and sweet treats (which I never care for usually).
No significant withdrawal symptoms, a bit fatigued and mild instestinal discomforts but that's all. Slept like a dog last 2 nights...
Some worrisome news from two separate sources close to me, one that stunned me quite a bit, but I kept breathing (albeit nicotine smoke) and pulled through.
Busy week ahead starting tomorrow, which will provide a new chance to prove that despite exhaustion, I have better options to cope with that feeling now.
No significant withdrawal symptoms, a bit fatigued and mild instestinal discomforts but that's all. Slept like a dog last 2 nights...
Some worrisome news from two separate sources close to me, one that stunned me quite a bit, but I kept breathing (albeit nicotine smoke) and pulled through.
Busy week ahead starting tomorrow, which will provide a new chance to prove that despite exhaustion, I have better options to cope with that feeling now.
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