cleargoals

Still going strong. I have felt very positive over the past week, withdrawal symptoms have subsided and cravings were few and far between and have not caused any discomfort or struggling so far. I feel more energetic, I get comments from people telling me I have a different, more open and radiating energy, I smile a lot and besides still feeling a bit tired and catching a cold, it is going well.

My olfactory senses seem better too, as I pick up much more taste/food tastes different and smells too. Maybe it is part of a more heightened awareness in general, especially to the small things in life

cleargoals

Last night, just after writing the above I received a message from my ex.
Talk about ominous timing to be tested in my resolve, heh.

I chose to reply against better knowledge and then didn't hear back from her... Massive unrest and emotional upheaval, racing thoughts, worrying, etc. ensued.
On top of it I just felt angry for allowing her to have such an influence on my mood and evening. And towards myself to not have the strength to ignore her.

I thought I couldn't find any way to let go of this feeling and the thoughts that were bothering me, as I dealt with such moments by drinking in the past, I was determined not to give in. And I took a hot bath, listened to some music and drank tea. Despite developing a huge headache and laying awake half of the night pondering, I didn't drink.

Sleep deprived and under the weather today, but happy to not be nursing a hangover or having to deal with the guilt and shame for giving in to self medicating with booze.

Ever onwards...

Garen

Consider doing your shopping in the morning and not in the evening. That way after work when you are tired you can head straight home. That may be an option you can use to prevent a repeat in the future. After work seems to be when most of us are at our weakest.

Your story is similar to mine. I am not 35 yet (I am 30 next month) and your drinking seems to be a little worse (but not much) than mine was, but I am positive we can both win. Recognize your urges for what they are, they are primitive and don't come from 'you.' It's like a spoiled child that is not used to hearing 'no.' It throws a tantrum and that's your cravings. It not its fault, it's just not used to being told no, and it's your job to teach it by abstaining from what it wants. This way of thinking has helped me through cravings big time.

I know you will do great. Keep telling us how you are doing.