Womble76

I was driving home last week trying to work out how I could pick up and afford a bottle (or two) of wine for the evening. This was taking up a ridiculous amount of brain power so I said 'nope, I'll give up alcohol for a bit'.

That was fine for two days then there was a wine / gin tasting which was strong enough to make me feel woozy. Oops.

So starting again I'm now on day 5 of not drinking and I'm having problems. Could I be an alcoholic?

I worked out that in the 7ish days before saying no the first time I'd had about 70 units of alcohol, more than usual but not so much that it was shocking to me. A bottle of wine goes so quickly and then I'm always wanting more. Easy to tell myself that I have a lot of stress and I deserve it. Evenings involve - open the door, open the bag, open the wine, turn on the TV.

I took aspirin for the headache to start with. Then I had back ache which has moved to my lower left abdomen, it's a bit better today but at one point yesterday it stopped me moving. No shakes but I did have weirdly uncontrollable trembling from left arm yesterday (I'm going to say it was a trapped nerve...)

These last few days not drinking have been amazing. I feel like I'm waking up and although I don't like the situation I'm living in (debt & disorganised) I'm actually doing something about it. I've had a haircut, rejoined my company pension scheme, reclaimed a piece of jewelry from the pawn broker. I'm so ashamed of how far I let myself slide but I love the new me that makes the bed in the morning (bolsters, cushions the lot!), wakes up feeling alive, cleans the kitchen before bed, has discovered at least 3 extra hours in the day to be productive in but still go to bed early...

I'm scared of what would happen if I have another drink and when it comes to the evening I really do want a glass of wine, which inevitably turns into an empty bottle. Yesterday I was chatting with someone who offered me wine and had glasses in front of us. It took everything in me to stick to water. Everything.

I haven't told anyone about not drinking because then I'd have to say how much I was drinking and that would be embarrassing. I've been reading this site since last week and it's really helped my resolve. I don't think drinking in moderation would work for me. I have a problem... don't I?

Vastreaction

I think what you'll hear from a lot of the experienced folk here is along the lines of: if you're researching alcoholism and seeking out this site as a resource, your relationship with alcohol may be questionable.

Coming here is an awesome first step! I'm pretty inexperienced, so I will just say "Welcome!" Glad to have you, I'm sure some more knowledgeable folk will contribute soon and offer you some good resources. If you have medical concerns though, I'd see a doctor ASAP. Mine helped me a lot when I decided to quit.

Best of luck to you!

LadyinBC

Hi Womble,

Welcome to SR.

I know for me, I am an alcoholic. I can't stop at one drink. For me one is too many and 1000 are not enough.

I tried moderating, tapering off, only on the weekends, etc. Didn't work. I had to stop drinking. Deep down we know what we need to do. You will find lots of help and support here!

Seiceps

An interesting experiment is to try for thirty days abstinence. See how manageable it is and see how you feel during / after. I havnt managed to pull it off yet. But , I keep trying and not giving up and the non drinking days are more than the drinking ones and it gets easier to string them together and easier to feel and see the effects of drinking days. As my mate says its a problem if its a problem. It's definitely a problem for me and I think as long as I keep trying to do it differently change will happen. It already is anyway. Best of luck. Feel proud that you're willing to look at it and make changes.

least

It sounds like you have a problem to me. Try going without drinking for a time, say three months. That should be long enough for you to get back to normal functioning and then decide what you want to do.