JCMalta

its 8.40am here, in the past 10 days by this time of the day I would have: done a 1 hour walk/run, done the bed, prepare breakfast for my daughter, cleaned the car, had a shower and started preparing myself for work.

NOT TODAY

I just woke up from bed, my fingers are numb, got a headache, my legs are numb, I stink, I'm finding it difficult (both physically and mentally) to write this thread. I'm devastated, I'm back to day1.

Please write me some encouraging word, I need your help.

Sorry for being a disappointment to you who may be earlier this month have read some encouraging post by me.

I feel ashamed towards my wife and daughter, towards my doctor who was preparing me to have some more blood tests, towards you who trusted in my posts. BUT MOSTLY I AM ASHAMED TOWARDS MYSELF.

LadyinBC

It takes guts to write a post like this. Okay you might have to start at day 1, but you have 10 days sober that NO ONE, not even you, can take away from you.

Concentrate on what kept you going during these sober days. Relapses happen to many of us and the important thing is to figure out what triggered you and what you can do next time so you don't drink.

Don't be too hard on yourself, you are least trying.

Nonsensical

Been there and done that, Brother.

Continued use despite a desire to stop and repeated negative consequences is what makes addiction so maddening. Choosing sobriety over the cravings is really really difficult, especially when your decision-making apparatus has been altered.

Besides beating yourself up, what's the plan?

ReadyAtLast

Welcome back JC,you're back here which is the main thing. Don't beat yourself up,dust yourself down and start again

JCMalta

thanks for all the 3 posts, I wanted to come in here first thing after a bad night.

@Nonsensical

I am drinking some anti toxic tea, will prepare some breakfast for my daughter afterwards. Can't plan much today in my current situation, guess I'll live today hour by hour.

Later I will write my yesterday's incredible story. Alcohol is so powerful and has so much helpers all around us.

Crimson88

Like everyone has said, just don't beat yourself up about it. We wouldn't be here today if we hadn't relapsed.

least

Forgive yourself, learn from it, and move forward again.

sugarbear1

You can believe that you can stay stopped again.

Just start today!

Womble76

Congratulations on the past 10 days. I bet your next 10 will be awesome.

Dee74

Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
― Carl Bard

I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning. -J. B. Priestley

Nothing is predestined. The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings. -Ralph Blum

Begin somewhere; you cannot build a reputation on what you intend to do. -Liz Smith

welcome back JCmalta

D

RDBplus3

It is a good day to get back up and walk upright. God will help you. The people here will help give you support and encouragement.

On my LAST trek out of my self-imposed trip to Hell, people were spitting on me and railing at me. I was in a terrible state of condemnation and despair. But I pulled myself up, and started again on the trek out of Hell, struggling to walk upright and SOBER. I have made it to a place of safety and sound mind, through Surrender and Honesty and a Commitment to be FREE from my affliction of Addiction.

Friends in AA helped me. The message of personal responsibility from AVRT and Rational Recovery helped me in my resolve. This website has been a LIFESAVER. You CAN do it! Walk upright and Sober. Stick with your commitment to be FREE no matter what.

Grymt

Thank you for sharing.

Seiceps

Before those ten days didn't that seem it would be difficult to accomplish ? It did to me. Now you KNOW that's possible it will be easier next time. I'm in the same boat. From everything I've read on this site, most people don't wake up decide they have a problem and never drink again a day in their lives! It's a process but starting it and slipping up and going back to it takes courage and its ok. It has to be ! Good luck x

Anna

You know that you can get back to being sober.

Learn from what happened yesterday and it doesn't need to happen again. Forgiving yourself is so important.

FeenixxRising

Get back on that horse. In a day or two you will feel better. I've been where you are right now--yes it sucks, but guess what, you're still alive and knowing you slipped you can move forward.

Odelle

Use this last slip as a reminder of what happens after that first drink! My first earnest attempt at sobriety was last summer. I was so thrilled to have reached six weeks. I wasn’t aware of AVRT then so when that subtle voice suggested that a nice cold one wouldn’t hurt, I carelessly relented! In no time at all, I was back to 1-2 bottles of wine daily. Six months later, I joined SR and just passed 7 weeks of sobriety. My lesson learned is that it is the first drink we have to be wary of. Once the physical/mental addiction is established, it takes just one sip to reactivate the out-of-control craving for more! Find the support that will reinforce your resolve, research post-acute withdrawal symptoms (PAWS) and educate yourself on alcohol related withdrawal and recovery. Mistakes happen; it’s what you learn from your mistakes that will determine your future actions. You can do this!

sandgirl

You can do this JC! I`ve been reading lots of successful recovery stories today-it`s helped me, if you`ve got time it might be helpful (theres lots on the Alcoholics Anonymous website).
Lots of people end up in perminent sobriety in the end-so can you!One day at a time