3girls1husband

So I did drink tonight. ... my pause in type is because..its easy to hide behind my computer screen....I did what "I should" today..and I will do "what I should' tomorrow...I am competent, and I truely am. I am sober when it counts. I am sober 90% of the time. My 10% of time, is my time, I know I screw it up for me, but mostly its ok to everyone else.
I will be free of my addiction one day....but today is not that day.

LadyinBC

We will be here when that day comes.

3girls1husband

I really want that day.....

Lenina

((((3girls))))

I hope you do stick around. I hope you don't have to go through the misery I did. I was never able to moderate but hope sprang eternal. If I could have moderated, I would have.
Today, I know the only sane choice for me is not drink at all. I don't miss it. I have peace in my life.

keep reading and post when you want to. We are here if you need us.

Love from Lenina

3girls1husband

Thank you!

Pastispast

I know drink may seem like the answer sometimes - but I've found it never is. I hope you find peace and comfort

friskme

I agree on the my time, but sometimes my time overcrowds other times; and I am either unconcerned or unaware or "un-a-care". This has started to bother me. Just wanted to share that your time may sometimes ride the boundaries of other peoples' times.

least

Then you must work hard to make today that day. There's no better time to quit than right now. Give it your all and stop today. You can do this!

ReadyAtLast

I used to think I was competent and functional even drinking every night. Now sober,I realize that was just an illusion and trying to convince myself I didn't have a problem. I did what needed to be done but was never fully present and am much more functional now. There's no better day to quit than today. Tomorrow never comes

Anna

I agree with ReadyAtLast. I totally believed I was doing alright at getting done what needed to be done. But, looking back with some perspective, it wasn't like that at all. I was never really 'there'.

It sounds like you are okay with being sober 90% of the time, and if so, then I think you will have a very hard time stopping drinking. It takes a lot of motivation and you need to really want it to work.

forabetterlife

I was like you, too. I worked hard, took care of my kids, the bills, the house, the dogs. I didn't drink during the day. But when the end of the day came, it was "me" time, and I turned to wine or beer. As you begin the realize what you lose while drinking (and the next day with the physical and psychological hangover) just simply isn't worth the short period of "me" time. Try to find something else to do during that time that is actually good for you. I read, walk my dog, exercise, go on SR, watch some DVRed shows...these things help me "escape", and they hurt no one, least of all myself. Good luck to you, hang in there, and don't give up.

Zebra1275

Alcoholism is progressive, and I learned that first hand over the years.

That 90% sober time you mention will decrease to 89% and then 88%. You might not even notice. Then you'll wake up one day and it will have decreased to something like 40%. And the momentum it has gained in your life leaves you pretty much powerless from it advancing to 39%, then 38% etc.

Alcohol in your life will be like a freight train that's gotten up to 100 mph. You will still be shoveling coal into the engine while at the same time hoping that the train will just slow down. It gets harder and harder to stay on track and avoid derailment.