Dag2378

Hello all. My name is Doug. Don't really know how to go about this so I'll just come out and say it. I got into a bar fight in November. I broke my ankle that required surgery and ended up getting charged with assault. Basically then and there I just decided to quit drinking. I hate saying this but I just quit and haven't looked back. I tried AA and to be honest, once school started I just haven't had time. I haven't once had the urge to drink so I figured my time is better spent studying or working. Here's where I'm in a bit of a....I guess you could say (moral?) dilemma. My attorney wants me to get an AA sponsor because I guess it shows the judge your effort. Is it wrong to get a sponsor and say "hey, I don't really need anything but, wanna write me a letter?" I don't know, it seems a little selfish but could help me out of a bind. Just curious if anyone had any thoughts about this. Thank you for your time and input.
Sincerely,
Doug

Richierich777

I went to AA and not because of a judge, but saw a lot of folks there. It's best to go to the meetings and get the formed signed everyday. I think that lowers the charges. Plus you get to meet some nice folks. Just Listen.

FeenixxRising

Morally I wouldn't do it unless I was committed to the AA program, even if it meant I suffered negative consequences for my decision. I guess this is one of those situations where good character means you do the right thing even when no one is looking.

That may not be the answer you were hoping for, but look at if from the sponsor's point-of-view. You would be using him and basically wasting his/her time. The fact that you asked the question shows you have some moral qualms with getting a sponsor just for appearance sake. That's a good thing IMO.

Having said all that, maybe you could restart AA and see if it is something you might want to continue on with. Maybe something will click the 2nd time around.

Anna

I wouldn't do that.

But, I wonder if you had a counsellor or therapist who was treating you, and you asked that person to write a letter for you?

avocado

I see no problem with it, morally or ethically. The issue might be finding someone who is willing to put their name out there claiming they're your 'sponsor' when they're really not. People don't tend to do things like that for no particular reason. I think your best bet would be to go through the motions in AA, get a sponsor, and then after the trial if you decide not to stick with AA, just stop going. At the very least show up to a meeting and talk to some people, be honest with them and perhaps someone will be willing to vouch for you.

Dag2378

That's fine and all but I don't see myself ever working the steps. I don't have a counselor or a therapist either. I'm a full time engineering student and I work 30 hours a week. Some days I barely have time to eat. I guess I'll just do what I can

Dag2378

Just got back from a meeting. I'm going to stick it out one or 2 nights a week. Thanks for all who replied. God Bless and good luck

TigerLili

I honestly believe everyone could benefit from a 12 step programme with a good sponsor. You could substitute 'alcohol' with just about anything, which is why there are so many Anonymous programs out there! Bare bones, it's just about righting wrongs from the past, living in a morally healthy manner and finding a spirituality that sits well with you.

However, I wouldn't do it just to get brownie points with a judge. I think that's unethical. Stay in integrity and take your lumps :-)

omegasupreme

If brownie points from a judge is the only reason you are doing it then my hat is off to you. That is way more honesty than I could muster up early on. I had lots of reasons for heading to AA. Not drinking was one of them but it soon faded when I realized some work may be involved. At that point, it was far easier to continue the drinking lifestyle. However, alcohol, the great persuader, eventually brought me back through a perpetual onslaught of fear and fatigue. Whatever your reason for getting to AA I'm glad you made it....and don't worry, you can make amends for it later Either way it'll bring you closer to God.

I am a part time computer science student (enrolled in 9 hrs/21hrs shy of a B.S.). I work 38 hours a week with on average, a 700 mile commute each week. I also have partial custody of my son. I have a sponsor and I actively sponsor a handful of men in AA. If it sounds like a lot, that is because it is. I wouldn't have it any other way though. AA has given me more than I could ever imagine so I gladly give back to it every chance I get.

Denver has some fine AA. Several of what I would call my AA heroes were from Denver. I'm a bit sad I won't be heading up to Copper Mountain for an awesome conference this year...schedule just won't allow it. Yeah, it's that good that I come from Texas...stop in New Mexico and pick up some pals and make heck of a road trip out of it.

If you make it over to the Happy Way Group in the Wells Fargo building on Bannock in Englewood tell Bob O. Texas sends it's love.

Crimson88

You sound like you're on the right path. Tbh, I would get an AA sponsor in your case regardless, not only will it reduce your charge, but you'll get great advive and meet some great people.