Would more consequences make it easier?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic USA
Posts: 2,441
Soopy, look at this way, the odds are good there will eventually be consequences. Even if you don't hit rock bottom, lose money, lose your job or family you will experience health problems if you continue drinking as much as you do. It's like smoking cigarettes, no one gets a DUI or arrested for smoking tobacco, but sooner or later those cigarettes do damage, and often serious damage.
It seems you do understand the road you're on isn't' a good one. I, and I'm sure many others here, can tell you that stopping now will almost certainly save you a hell of a lot of grief and heartache. Again, it's that probability thing. You might flip a coin and get heads 10x in a row, but soon or later that coin will land on tails.
It seems you do understand the road you're on isn't' a good one. I, and I'm sure many others here, can tell you that stopping now will almost certainly save you a hell of a lot of grief and heartache. Again, it's that probability thing. You might flip a coin and get heads 10x in a row, but soon or later that coin will land on tails.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 94
Thanks everyone; lots of helpful thoughts here. I guess I need to reach the point of wanting to quit for good not because I'm facing some terrible consequence, or even the thought that I eventually will. Nothing good can come from continuing to drink heavily. And I've proven to myself that it is nearly impossible for me to drink moderately for a sustained period. So, I hope I have quit for good this time.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
The thing I never understood was 'the point of wanting to quit for good' is not a destination...it's a decision.
We don't have to wait to get there...we can make the decision anytime we like.
You could quit right now...this second.
If that makes your inner addict nervous - then good
D
We don't have to wait to get there...we can make the decision anytime we like.
You could quit right now...this second.
If that makes your inner addict nervous - then good
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 164
I've been having this problem too. For about a year I would hit a low point and say I am done drinking, but about 3 weeks later I would convince myself I can just have a couple. Soon I would be back on a 3-4 day bender. This happened almost routinely at a one month mark for a year.
I finally went to the hospital to get help after one particularly bad bender, and I really do think that's my bottom. I signed up for an intensive outpatient program because I know I will soon think I can drink again.
I'm also continuing to wear my hospital bracelet for as long as I can to remind me. I feel like I would never touch a drink if I still have that hospital bracelet on.
I finally went to the hospital to get help after one particularly bad bender, and I really do think that's my bottom. I signed up for an intensive outpatient program because I know I will soon think I can drink again.
I'm also continuing to wear my hospital bracelet for as long as I can to remind me. I feel like I would never touch a drink if I still have that hospital bracelet on.
Nothing Left to do but Smile.
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 808
I was like you at one time in my addiction. Didn't have negative consequences...... Then over time, I was a little late for work more and more often. Then I started missing days because I drank a little too much the night before. Kids and Wife started always causing me stress. So did work. I was no longer the favorite Uncle even though I was almost always sober around my nieces. In fact, most people were getting on my nerves. Then mysterious pains started to develop in my hands and feet and they weren't going away. Finally, I started having pains in my liver. Pains that I would feel every time I took a drink. Pains that I thought I could get to go away if I didn't drink for a few days starting tomorrow. Even with liver pain, it took me a few months to quit. At that point, the addiction is so strong that people continue to drink when they know it is going to kill them. That was my Uncle. I broke free and ran as hard as I could in the opposite direction. I'm still running.
I look back and I still can't figure out how I got from college partier to drinking a 5L box of wine every 3 days. It only took a few years to go from what you are drinking to what I drank at the end. Be careful. You obviously know you have a problem. It might be wise to nip the booze before it nips you.
I look back and I still can't figure out how I got from college partier to drinking a 5L box of wine every 3 days. It only took a few years to go from what you are drinking to what I drank at the end. Be careful. You obviously know you have a problem. It might be wise to nip the booze before it nips you.
Keeping it simple!
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Surrey, BC
Posts: 3,282
I tried moderating, just drinking on weekends, tapering off, etc. Never worked. I kept relapsing because I kept doing the samething over and over again. Which was nothing. This keeps the cycle going and enables us to set our relapses up.
In order for me to really change my life I had to change ME. At the end of the day I chose to drink. No one held a gun to my head except me. No one makes me relapse except me. Once I accepted this the doors opened.
In order for me to really change my life I had to change ME. At the end of the day I chose to drink. No one held a gun to my head except me. No one makes me relapse except me. Once I accepted this the doors opened.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,064
Soopy, I remember you, I really like your avatar.
It took a few days of detox to reset my brain. Most of the alkies got there through the ER. I learned a lot by living with other addicts--I learned how much I had, and how low I could go. And I got a good introduction to AA and NA, thanks to thoughtful volunteers who came and held meetings at my facility.
Best wishes
∞CF
It took a few days of detox to reset my brain. Most of the alkies got there through the ER. I learned a lot by living with other addicts--I learned how much I had, and how low I could go. And I got a good introduction to AA and NA, thanks to thoughtful volunteers who came and held meetings at my facility.
Best wishes
∞CF
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: pa
Posts: 297
look at it this way - you're not going to find a whole lot of recovering alcoholics saying something like "man, I wish I had quit a year later than I did" but almost all of us will say the opposite or at least be glad we quit when we did.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
Originally Posted by janiebluebird 
Sometimes I wish there were harsher consequences also. I wish I was mandated to go to AA, as strange as that may sound.
If it will help, I mandate that you go to AA, if nothing else than for a reality check.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
Denial is a funny thing. Sometimes it's conscious, but often as not we just don't SEE how it is.
There have been many times my boyfriend called me and I said, "you've been drinking" and he said there was NO way I could tell that because he'd only had one or two and that little had NO effect on his behavior...um. well then how can I infallibly tell when he's been drinking, over the phone, even after one beer?
it's probably affecting you more than you know.
There have been many times my boyfriend called me and I said, "you've been drinking" and he said there was NO way I could tell that because he'd only had one or two and that little had NO effect on his behavior...um. well then how can I infallibly tell when he's been drinking, over the phone, even after one beer?
it's probably affecting you more than you know.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Gulf Coast, Florida USA
Posts: 5,731
Originally Posted by Nattythreads
Soopy
The thing is, that your level of dependency will let you catch up with us all because part of your brain will want it to get worse and worse - just to prove that you are as bad as you imagined you could be.
.
The thing is, that your level of dependency will let you catch up with us all because part of your brain will want it to get worse and worse - just to prove that you are as bad as you imagined you could be.
.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: SoCal, California
Posts: 990
This movie clip is not supposed to be about quitting alcohol. But I think it really applies because once you get to the point where it's messing with your life you have made a blood oath. You're locked into a struggle and you have to commit.
This clip talks about "getting Capone" but you could easily switch that to "stop drinking" and it fits perfectly.
Do you REALLY want to quit. If you do then you're going to have to commit because alcohol won't quit until one of you is dead.
This clip talks about "getting Capone" but you could easily switch that to "stop drinking" and it fits perfectly.
Do you REALLY want to quit. If you do then you're going to have to commit because alcohol won't quit until one of you is dead.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by soopy99
I'm back on day one again after another failed experiment with moderation. Each day 1 i tell myself over and over again I need to stop drinking altogether, but by day 6 or 7 I always seem to convince myself I can drink occasionally, and a week later I'm back to daily drinking.
I just can't convince myself alcohol is no longer an option. Sometimes reading other people's war stories acts as a trigger because I've never had any obvious negative consequences from drinking and although I drink at an unhealthy level (6-8 drinks a night) I do stop before I lose control. In fact, because my tolerance is so high from the steady drinking, I am rarely visibly drunk.
If I keep it up, I'll have serious health problems. I'm already noticing some problems. But, because I look OK on the outside, I keep foolishly deciding that "I'm not that bad."
Please, can you all give me a few good reasons never to have a drink again? I'll need to review them in a few days.
I just can't convince myself alcohol is no longer an option. Sometimes reading other people's war stories acts as a trigger because I've never had any obvious negative consequences from drinking and although I drink at an unhealthy level (6-8 drinks a night) I do stop before I lose control. In fact, because my tolerance is so high from the steady drinking, I am rarely visibly drunk.
If I keep it up, I'll have serious health problems. I'm already noticing some problems. But, because I look OK on the outside, I keep foolishly deciding that "I'm not that bad."
Please, can you all give me a few good reasons never to have a drink again? I'll need to review them in a few days.
An oldtimer asked me years ago if I knew the difference between a psychotic and a neurotic? ... I said "No, I don't"
He said: "One thinks that 2 + 2 = 5 and believes it .. the other knows that 2 + 2 = 4 and can't stand it"
Either way we miss the truth.
All the best.
Bob R
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Gulf Coast, Florida USA
Posts: 5,731
Originally Posted by 2granddaughters
I'd say you are experiencing very obvious consequences....
An oldtimer asked me years ago if I knew the difference between a psychotic and a neurotic? ... I said "No, I don't"
He said: "One thinks that 2 + 2 = 5 and believes it .. the other knows that 2 + 2 = 4 and can't stand it"
Either way we miss the truth.
All the best.
Bob R
An oldtimer asked me years ago if I knew the difference between a psychotic and a neurotic? ... I said "No, I don't"
He said: "One thinks that 2 + 2 = 5 and believes it .. the other knows that 2 + 2 = 4 and can't stand it"
Either way we miss the truth.
All the best.
Bob R
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
I didn't see a lot of the consequences of my drinking until after I got sober and had something to compare it to.
You know what you're doing isn't sustainable, and you're going to have to quit at some point, right? I think everyone here will tell you that it doesn't get any easier to stop down the road. One reason to stop now is to just get it over with..... get the hard part out of the way so that you can be free from the obsession/addiction, free from worrying about what alcohol is doing to you, from the plotting and planning, from the cravings....... Just that kind of freedom in itself is very rewarding, even though you can't see it right now.
You know what you're doing isn't sustainable, and you're going to have to quit at some point, right? I think everyone here will tell you that it doesn't get any easier to stop down the road. One reason to stop now is to just get it over with..... get the hard part out of the way so that you can be free from the obsession/addiction, free from worrying about what alcohol is doing to you, from the plotting and planning, from the cravings....... Just that kind of freedom in itself is very rewarding, even though you can't see it right now.
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