Laneyl

I've been dealing all the guilt from all the bad things I did drunk. The longer I'm sober, the more i think ab the past. I recently found out I am pregnant & am so scared I may drink again once the baby is born. The problem is that I can't get the idea out of my head that, hey maybe I can go out drink every now & then. That scares me, but then I also get pissed that my friends have so much fun drinking & hanging out, & I cannot join. I feel like ill be safest staying home with my husband & baby every weekend. I just need people who understand.

artsoul

Welcome Laneyl!

I think all those feelings are pretty normal for us! I felt some envy/resentment in the beginning that everyone else was able to go out and drink, but then I realized that most of those people didn't drink like I did. A lot of them would have one or two drinks and be able to stop. I was never satisfied with that - I always wanted "just one more", no matter how much I'd had, and I'd always wake up regretting it.

Glad you're here - it really is too hard to do this on our own and there's lot of inspiration and support here!

deeker

Time for my emergency go to post!

We drank for happiness and became unhappy.
We drank for joy and became miserable.

We drank for sociability and became argumentative.
We drank for sophistication and became obnoxious.

We drank for friendship and made enemies.
We drank for sleep and awakened without rest.

We drank medicinally and acquired health problems.
We drank for relaxation and got the shakes.

We drank for bravery and became afraid.
We drank for confidence and became doubtful.

We drank to make our conversation easier and we slurred our speech.
We drank to feel heavenly and ended up feeling like hell.

We drank to forget and were forever haunted.
We drank for freedom and became slaves.

We drank to erase problems and saw them multiply.
We drank to cope with life and invited death.

Coldfusion

We certainly understand you at this message board!

Maybe you could make some new friends that don't drink. Have you thought of AA or a church? Perhaps there are some groups or services for new mothers in your town?

LadyinBC

Hi Laneyl. You don't have to deal with this on your own. This website is awesome and you will find so many people here with experience and willing to help.

Being sober gets better and better over time.

least

I wouldn't worry so much about what will happen after baby is born, I'd just develop a way to stay sober, no matter what.

Dib42

Wow, this is so true.... Oh how we romanticised our drunkenness

Anna

It's understandable to feel the loss of alcohol and to be envious of those who have no problem with it. Keep believing that alcohol is no longer an option in your life, and by the time the baby is born you probably won't have the desire to go out and drink. One suggestion I have is to get involved in some new activities and try to meet new people who are not drinkers.

FamilyMan2153

Laney, so many of us have been where you are. A life of recovery takes work but also takes a new way to look at life. I am a father of 3 and soon you will be a mom. (BTW, congrats!!) I want to be the best dad, husband, brother, friend, boss I could be. I know none of that is possible while drinking. Just a fact. I remember asking myself, "what the hell am I going to do sober?" The best answer I got was "anything you want!" It is true. I am only 7 months sober and just starting to see and find out all of life's possibilities. I can go out to dinner with friends and get up early with my kids of they need me. I can let my wife sleep in and help around the house on my days off. I can take the kids to the park, be a coach on their baseball team, nature walks, museums and actually pay attention and enjoy the experience.

You hang in there and fight for yourself. You know there is a better you without the alcohol. Post your struggles and thoughts and there are a lot of good people to try and help here.