Time for my first post
 

Hello everyone

I've been lurking for about a month. This evening I drank at possibly the only problem that could make me drink. I was 3 weeks sober before that. It is a problem that will be here over the next few months though so I thought it was time to post.

I feel I know many of you already, through avidly reading. I'm definitely an alcohol abuser. High tolerance, more gets more etc, but I'm lucky to be grounded by 2 small kids & the fact that pregnancy turned me off wine & I don't do spirits. Beer, though. That was 8-14 cans about 2-3 times a week. I was turning up at school pickup trashed (thinking I looked "normal") argh. I work at home and work hard, but that was going downhill too. So I decided I should quit.

This site has been amazing for me. I'm lucky enough just to have had the racing-heart thing (wakes me up/stops me going to sleep) and the anxiety (I call it squirming) as withdrawals. But I want some accountability now I've had a slip.

Basically I'm seeing how I've used alcohol as a crutch all my adult life and given lame excuses for it (I've just turned 42). I had really high potential as a youngster (went to top uni etc) but chronic lack of self esteem & confidence, I know the only way is sobriety. I already see the fun I can have and give my little ones. I think I'm looking to make some friends in this site.

Xx

Welcome snowie...Lots of great help and advice around here,this site has helped me so much,hope it helps you too...

Welcome to SR, you will get a lot of great advice here. God Bless and stay sober.

I'm so glad you posted and you've made a great decision to stop drinking. I think lack of self-esteem is at the root of almost all addiction. I hope you continue to read and post.

Welcome to SR!!

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Hi snowie! I definitely used it as a crutch, too - and sabotaged myself greatly. I thought it was keeping me calm and happy, but in the end my anxiety was terrible - and I was frozen by self doubt. We don't need it! You can do this, snowie - and have a new life. We're glad you're here and posting.

Thank you for the welcome, guys.
The thing this site has already taught me is the most pointless thing for me is to test whether I classify as an alcoholic. There are alcoholics all down my mums family. My 50 year old uncle died last summer (tho he had codeine problems too). Reading stories on this site has already given me huge strength. Like most, I can quit any time I like, and like many, I've never even tried any kind of long term sobriety. That's what I want now, sobriety.

Don't be afraid to post. You can regain your life. I binge like that myself, every 5 days 2 bottles of wine, and it ruins me. So I'm here working, the people are SO nice here. Great advice!!

Did you say you are picking up the kids from school trashed? Oh how I hope I misunderstood that. If I did I truly apologize.However I admit I drove my son when I was drunk before.

Almost 8 yrs ago I ran into 3 trees at the bus stop 20 min before the kids came out . It was morning and I had been up all night drinking and drugging. My son actually saw my car wrapped around the trees when he was on the bus going to school. My life could be a lot different today if I hit those trees only 20 minutes later. I would have taken the lives of several children as they all play around those trees.I went to jail for that, it was my 3rd DUI.

I hope you have had your last drink. Would you believe I still drank and drugged after that. Cunning, baffling and Powerful is this illness. God Bless you!

Hey Deeker, I don't drive. I actually walk down (25 mins) to pick my daughter up and her little bro is in the buggy (he's just 16mo old). Drink driving seems to be a US thing, you have more space than us Brits :-) I say trashed, but I "feel" fine. I think I smell considerably though of alcohol fumes!! Even walking and talking, I had started to drink in the day, not to get rid of withdrawals, just -what- insanity or something!

Actually I meant to say I don't drive because I haven't passed me test yet.. It's not a choice thing

Did you get a WUI? :) Walking under the influence! kidding! Glad you started jumping in and sharing.

welcome snowie, this is a great place to learn & share, keep coming back!!

I can laugh now but there could well have been a few times (handful thankfully) where I should have got a WUI. What on earth was I doing? I got into a crazy habit. Weeks ago I imposed an absolute ban on daytime drinking, and the wired thing was I didn't feel like it in the evening either. But today, shazzam, biggest trigger and I drank again (after 7pm tho :-)). I see I need to be watchful, I'm still learning and grateful for any suggestions. I feel controlled lately with my 3 weeks, but so many stories tell of slipping back - I don't want moderation, I want to quit properly, with SR at first, as I have no time for meetings (work full time round the kids, don't drive)

(((welcome snowie)))

Welcome aboard!!!! My name is Mizzuno. I look forward to hearing all about you. Lets do this journey together! This site has been instrumental for me and my recovery from alcohol abuse, alcoholism.....what have you. Have a good night!!!

:welcome


You had three weeks before, you can get there again, and beyond.:) Never give up! :hug:

Welcome Snowie...Your story sounds similar to mine in many ways-- I drank only beer for years, spending lots of time with my kids, and being around other people while I was drunk and thinking and feeling I was "fine". It amazes me how all across the world, so many of us have such similar patterns, experiences, and feelings regarding alcohol in our lives. Hope you stick around, you will find so much support and strength here:)

I have so many memories, and lack thereof, where I thought no one could tell how much I had drank and that I was keeping it together....and for the most part I did. Those closest to me over time I think could tell that I wasn't quite right, so I would hide away from them for a while.
I'm tired of hiding my problem, and like you I have little ones who need me to be sober ALL the time. Fortunately my kids haven't seen me drunk too much, they are only 3 and 4 and 90% of the time I drink after they are in bed or close to it....
Keep coming on here, it has been worth every minute for me the last couple of days!

Welcome Snowie!!!:)