MamaBear2

I need someone to please respond. I have MUCH respect for everyone on this site, and maybe I haven't read enough posts to find out because I am new. But has anyone been put in a situation from an illness that caused them to become completely and totally dependent on opiates because a dr. told them this is what they need to do?? I've been on this vicious cycle for 10 years and more issues keep cropping up. I have taken myself off of them so many times because I wanted to stop the madness, but my illness won't let me. Just recently I went through the nightmare of taking myself off of all of my meds. And as luck would have it, I fell, went to the hospital and it could have started again. I made it through a week without anything after my dilautid shot but now after all of the shakes, sweats,not eating and bathroom runs I am having a LOT of pain. I have an appointment today with my dr. but I don't know what to do. I have kids to care for and I can't be down. My family thinks it's a horrible way for me to live by taking pain pills, but the alternative is worse with the pain ALL DAY LONG!! I didn't chose this, I just swam in the defective gene pool in utero lol. But this is my reality and I can't find a way to please my family and my body. It's not like I decided one day that, "Hey, let's see what these pills are about." I start counseling in April (again), but this feels like total madness!!!!!

doggonecarl

You are taking your meds as your doctor has prescribed? Have you explained your addiction to your doctor? Asked him/her to look at alternative treatement for your condition?

doggonecarl

Sadly, not all doctors are knowledgable about pain management.

Mizzuno

Like Carl said. Alternative treatments......Acupuncture, whole body therapy, massage....any exercise that might relieve the pain? You are taking these meds as prescribed? I understand it is no way to live. Are they helpful for you to be functional and productive in your life? May I ask what is going on?

MamaBear2

11 years ago when I divorced my alcoholic husband I had 2 babies to take care of. But I was experiencing tremendous pain and fatigue! I thought perhaps I had inherited my moms sever RA. The blood tests showed that I had lupus. I refused to believe it and ignored it for a year, but then it came at me with a vengeance. I went to a Rheumatologist and then discovered I also have fibromyalgia. I started out on the lowest of low pain meds and muscle relaxers because I had never taken any before. But over the years my tolerance grew, as did other ailments. My insurance does not cover any kind of therapy just trigger point injections. I found those very painful injections (10 at a time) to prove fruitless. So here I am, 10 years later deciding what is the best course of action for me. This is also thee worst time of year for me....summer seems to make it more bareable due to the heat. I have slept downstairs for almost 2 years because going down the steps in the morning is tricky. Once I fell because my legs just won't work. I have talked to 2 different dr.'s about the issues I'm having and their opinions are polar opposite. But the thing they both concur on is that I WILL be in chronic pain for the rest of my life. That in itself is very depressing. One seems to have a little more empathy and the other is very matter of fact. I have 8 more years until my children are grown and I don't want miss out on things in their life because I just can't move, function or drive. And the flare ups are the worst because the come out of nowhere even when I don't provoke my body. I can't clean and do laundry like I used to because I know it will keep me down for days. But what has to be done needs done. I'm a single mom. I have tried proactive meds to stop the pain, but they are SO strong that they leave me in a cloud and truly unable to function. So, I am left to decide...which is the lesser of the 2 evils??? Honestly, I just don't have that answer.

sugarbear1

Have you consulted with The Lupus Foundation on ideas or alternatives?

MamaBear2

And yes, to answer your question....I do take them as prescribed and they do help. And for as much as I would love to try alternative treatments, my insurance doesn't cover it. I do not abuse them, but I do grow tired of my way of life. I have one friend in the same boat but she live far away from me. We do commiserate on the phone together. I just came on here to get a different perspective, if you will. It truly is madness and the only thing that keeps me going is my faith and my kids.

Mizzuno

Oh god, I am so sorry that this has happened to you. I can understand that you do not want to be on medications. From what i am reading, this is not about addiction. This is about you trying to live your life with pain and a disease that is debilitating. Sugarbear mentioned the Lupus foundation. That would be a good place to look into things. Sometimes we have to do things that we dont like, in your case, it is taking medications that stop the pain for a time. Please keep posting and reading. Look into other options. We are here for you.

MamaBear2

But it's been so long that it DOES feel like an addiction!!! And my family looks at it as such. By definition addiction is being trapped, taken over by a substance and I am no different than anyone else. Mine just wasn't self inflicted. It is for lack of a better phrase a total mind F***!!!!! Add depression and anxiety on top of it and on paper, it looks pathetic.

Mizzuno

Okay. What are you supposed to do though? Take the medication so that you can function? Dont take the meds and not be able to walk? I am not sure what i would do. It is a very tricky situation.

MamaBear2

Yes it is. This site has been very encouraging, and I thank you for taking the time to chat with me...I REALLY do. It's great to experience the kindness of strangers

Mizzuno

Will you check out the foundation like Sugarbear suggested?

doggonecarl

Sorry you are suffering.

My wife was in terrible pain from fibro for years, but her regime now doesn't include any pain meds and she hasn't had a fibro episode in two years. Sometimes it takes seeing another doctor. Medicine is always advancing...doctors, sometimes not so fast.

Also, see:
Recovery and Pain Management - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Received

Welcome to SR.

We are unable to give medical advice and I understand that is not necessarily what you are seeking. It sounds more like you may be looking for validation as your family is quite worried.

I believe you already know the truth about the medications you are taking and whether they are necessary or not.

Just recently it was highly suggested by a doctor I take a very strong pain medication for a very painful injury. I opted out of taking the medication and instead agreed to a pain management medication that was much less potent but would take enough of the edge off.

If you truly need these medications and doses to live a quality of life and do not take them to derive a "high" then you must do what you must do. My doctor had to sit me down and explain the difference between addiction and dependence.

There have been times in my life that I had to take a medication my body became dependent on and when being taken off of it I had to be tapered. However my doctor would never allow me to take a medication to the point that I would have to take more and more over an extended period of time, in order for it to continue to be effective. For me, it was not only counter productive but dangerous.

As long as you are being rigorously honest with yourself and therefor your doctors and family then that's all you can do. In the end, only you know the truth.

Best to you.

Mizzuno

Well, just from my own experience for what it is worth. I have moderate arthritis in the lumbar. It is extremely painful at times. I recently got a cortisone shot ( very painful) in the lumbar, hoping and praying that it will give me relief. The doctor prescribed pain meds that i decided to get rid off because I do not like the effects of them on my brain and body. Well, some days the pain is pretty severe, less now that i got the shot. I know that i will have to take meds at times to help. So far so good. The meds are there if and when I need them. I just have to call.......What am I saying? Sometimes we have to do what we don't want to do. I would rather function and be in less pain, then to not function at all.