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Blew it again.

Old 03-25-2013, 05:46 AM
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Blew it again.

I was doing so well, I was almost 3 weeks then I caved in to the darkness. This darkness was bad and evil. Almost cost me my job. 2 weekends ago I didnt have any medication so I decided to just sweat it out in bed and watch movies. It was horrible. I was seeing things that were not there, sweating, shaking. Almost hospital worthy.
Happy to be back on track on day 10. Avoiding everything that has to do with Alcohol. I moved out of my condo I lived with my alcoholic friends with to a new (even better condo) Feel amazing again. Really had some time to sole search.
I was told by my doctor that it takes 10 days for the "Alcohol Brain" be restored and I truly believe it. I was making mistakes all over the place. Incompetent, unreliable, and just plain dumb. There was no hiding it, I was an Idiot.
10 days clean I am at 95%, sleep is being restored.
Back to being a rockstar at work. That horrible withdrawal with zero medication really taught me a lesson.
Sure I regret being an Idiot, but I cant change it, all I can do now is be a better person. I had never been through withdrawal with no meds before. WOW what an eye opener. Alcohol has somewhat ruined my life. Time to restore and live the happy sober life again. It is much better. I went grocery shopping at 7am on Saturday. Only sober people can do that. Felt great to have all my chores done by 9am so I could lounge, eat and exercise properly. For 2 weeks I fell so behind in my work I had to cancel my vacation to catch up!!! I am a somewhat functional alcoholic (somewhat) but I'm not myself and exhibit unusual behavior. Its the worst.
Well all I can say is it took pure punishment of full withdrawal to really straighten my act out. No more pills, no more booze, no more weed, no more anything for me.
Back on track and I am staying this way.

Wish you all the best.
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Old 03-25-2013, 05:49 AM
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I'm not so certain about that 10 days, but I am happy to hear you have stopped drinking!

It keeps getting better!!
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Old 03-25-2013, 05:50 AM
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Thats awesome. Congrats. Isn't just the best thing ever watching things fall back into place again, and life getting rosier everyday! And its just gonna get better! Keep on keepin' on!
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Old 03-25-2013, 05:54 AM
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Glad you found your way back! Withdrawal from alcohol can be dangerous and I'm glad you are ok; sounds like it was an eye-opener. While you will be busy with work and great change living in a different environment, how else will you find support when things get tough?
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Old 03-25-2013, 05:54 AM
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Originally Posted by sugarbear1 View Post
I'm not so certain about that 10 days, but I am happy to hear you have stopped drinking!

It keeps getting better!!
Well lets put it this way. My Dr is an Addiction specialist. My anxiety was through the roof, let along my blood pressure was like 180/120. I couldn't even type. My brain was mushy. I couldn't eat for 2-3 days.

BP is now 125/83. I dont feel like I am going to explode anymore.

Feel much better now 10 days later. Maybe not 100%, but for sure much much better.
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Old 03-25-2013, 05:57 AM
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Originally Posted by soberclover View Post
Glad you found your way back! Withdrawal from alcohol can be dangerous and I'm glad you are ok; sounds like it was an eye-opener. While you will be busy with work and great change living in a different environment, how else will you find support when things get tough?
My old support systems are my family, and my friend (who has been sober for 12 years). That is all I have.
I try to preoccupy my mind. I moved because I lived across the street from a liquor store and there was a pub on the bottom floor of my condo complex. I am not around that anymore. That helps huge.
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Old 03-25-2013, 07:49 AM
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Are you going to AA meetings in TO ??

All the best.

Bob R
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Old 03-25-2013, 08:21 AM
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Originally Posted by 2granddaughters View Post
Are you going to AA meetings in TO ??

All the best.

Bob R
I actually live in Sauga. And yes. I go to 2-3 a week. My boss wont give me the 3 weeks off I need for grinder therapy. He is not understanding at all. And I can understand were he is coming from because I am Director of Sales for US and Canada. It sux and my company will sink for a month that I am not here. So every day (or as much as possible) I go to AA. The other days I see my Addiction Therapist. He helps too.
The strange thing that I have read within this forum is Alcohol has a hold on me. Sure I can go sober for long periods of time (longest 1.5 years). Now its like 1-2 months off, then raging for 2 weeks and punishing myself. Then 1-2 months off, then raging again. I dont get myself in trouble or anything, no jail, never been arrested, no DUI, nothing. I can say it has really affected my job performance though.
AA for sure helps , so does my therapist, but the therapist is very very expensive.
I am still trying to learn ways to kick this crap out of my life forever but it has proven to be more difficult then I thought.
Typically my doctor would drown me in pills, but Im not doing that anymore!!! If I falter I will be punished.

Thanks for reading.
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