wiscsober

My best to you and your family. You are not alone. Putting down the bottle is the easy part. Get help with withdrawals physically -- seek help from a detox or other medical help. You can do that. Surround yourself with family and friends and the recovering community. We all have been there. I know you can experience a wonderful life living sober.

TotalFreedom

Thank you for being so open and honest about your situation.

In the grand scheme of things, how important is it really that everyone there is way older than you? When it comes to getting sober, living the rest of your life happy with your family, and all the things that will become possible. How important really is the age of the others?

And imagine this. How much do you think the others care that you're younger than them? I can hardly imagine that it would be an issue for them. And if it is, it's their problem and you can't let it stop you from getting what you need.

Also, if this is an issue for you, why not mention it when it's your time to talk? You can explain that the age difference makes it hard for you to be there and most likely you will find that everyone will support you and tell you it's no big deal.

I bet you would be willing to do more for your family than going to meetings where everyone is older than you though. I bet you'd do a whole lot more.

It reminds me of this Eminem line:

"Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for?
Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for?"

You can do it.

TotalFreedom

Believe me, life can be much more enjoyable sober than it could ever be drunk. And it at least is better sober than drunk, since it's not going so well drunk.

2granddaughters

I know how you feel.

I looked for answers in medicine and religion. When I came to AA I found that the Priest and my doctor were members of AA.

In my disease the hardest part was surrendering, admitting I was licked, and committing to Alcoholics Anonymous.

You said that you were the youngest at the meeting? ..... what a blessing !! You'll save yourself and your family years of misery. Do you see that ??

All the best.

Bob R

TotalFreedom

Oh and btw, you are not a nerd. If you feel like a nerd, I suggest you stop feeling that way.

I love Marvel. DC is ok too, but I'm really into the Hulk. I'm 31. I know people of all ages love comics. Any hobby is ok at any age if you ask me. It's your life and your choice and you are free to have any hobby that is harmless you want.

And think about it, you already have a great hobby that you enjoy that you can pursue when you're sober.

And you can spend more quality time with your family. You can maybe find other hobbies. Fun things to do together.

If you focus on what you would love to do that is positive, you can find great things to fill up your life with that are actually worthwhile, instead of just sitting there getting drunk.

Believe me, life sober IS more enjoyable.

One thing I did immediately was to search for new things I would like to do. Did some Google searches, found many interesting things and now I have so many options that I have to choose.

FreeFall

WWG what really helped me was to stop seeing quitting drinking as a punishment. I'm a rebel type (inside anyway) and telling me I can't do something made me want to do it a thousand times more. I had to learn to open my eyes and really admit what drinking was doing to my life. As much as I wanted it to be the fun it was back in college, the reality is that ship has sailed. It isn't fun to be hungover, or worried about a dui, or doing things that you can't remember the next day.

If you start to see quitting drinking as a CHOICE you are making it's a little more palatable. You don't have to say never all at once either. It may turn in to never, but you don't have to stress yourself out worrying about never again. You can do this!!

LadyinBC

I was definately scared to stop drinking. I honestly didn't know how I could go on without the booze. But I did it and so can you. It is getting over the initial hump, so to speak, was the worst for me.

I now have a feeling of contentment I never had when I was drinking.

Rightn2

I have been lurking here for a while and had to register to tell you that your anxiety and depression will improve by getting off the beer.

I have 2 1/2 months sober and am very pleased with my improved calm, clarity, confidence, and outlook.

I am 40 and was up to 8 - 10 beers a night.... EVERY DAMN NIGHT for years.
I knew alcohol was to blame for feeling like crap most days, but if I knew just how badly it was effecting my mind, I'd have quit long ago.
34 would be a great time to quit WWG.... wise and youthful

elihoping

Hi WWG,

Sorry to hear you're struggling. We miss you in the September group. I know what you mean about AA. I go and sometimes, people there are a lot older than me too. I'm 31. If you try a few different meetings, you might find some younger people there too. But sometimes I think it's nice to have older people giving me advice. I feel "looked after" or something. It can be comforting.

Look, it sounds like you're absolutely miserable. Here's how I talked myself into going - I decided I'd go for 90 days. I tried to get to 90 meetings in that time but didn't get all of them. I decided that if I still hated AA and sobriety by the end of those 90 days, I didn't have to go anymore and would come up with a different plan. I got a sponsor and spoke to her everyday on the phone. I'm nearly at 6 months now. I don't always love it but it's so much better than what I had before.

You can do this. I know you're scared but don't think about giving up alcohol for the rest of your life. You just have to get to bed tonight without a drink. And then try that again tomorrow. It's much easier if all you have to do with your day is get to bed that night without a drink. You can definitely do this and we're all here to support you.

Eli

llastchance8

My thinking was the same way for 8 years and due to that, I wasted precious 8 years of my life . Now , I realize how stupid I was. In fact , the fear of not being able to enjoy life , without drink , was the most rediculous fear I had.. I am enjoying life so much ,without any drink,now .

One analogy might help you.. Do you agree that most exiciting and advantorous sports give us, so much fear initially ? We do not even think of attempting them. But, once we do it, we get the real joy out of them,

Use this fear to your advantge . Face it , once for all and you will be able to see , life is much more enjoyable without drinking.

walkingwithgod

I must get sober, my family deserves a sober dad/husband. I also owe it to myself to be healthy and happy. Just waking up today without a hangover makes the world look brighter.

DoubleDragon

You just described me to a tee. Right down to the age. Good luck to both of us!

FeelingGreat

Hi WWG. Think about your daughter, she is absorbing everything you do like a sponge. If as an adult she thinks drinking heavily is normal, will it be because of what she saw in her own home? Is that your legacy?

walkingwithgod

I want to be a role model for her, and I need to start now. Getting over regrets is not easy, but necessary.

llastchance8

Well done .. That is a great start.. Apart from your family, you owe it to yourself to be healthy and happy. I felt and enjoyed the fresh smell of grass early morning ,waking up without any hang over.. My body and soul felt very light. I enjoyed the fresh air.. So can you.. Keep at it.. We are all with you .

Vastreaction

I should be asleep, but since I'm not... in 7 hours I hit my 7 day without a drink mark. It is really hard for the first few days, but man around day 5 I started getting things done, my outlook improved, it's just fantastic. Stick around, keep reading, keep posting, and ty not to have a drink.

Glad to have you here, I think sobriety is going to be awesome.

0percentABV

When I first stopped I did it for myself. I thought that even when I was drinking I was still a good father. But as time passed, a couple relapses here and there, I started to notice that even though I wasn't a violent, abusive or neglectful drunk I was still drunk. Sure, I read to them every night, but I slurred a lot. Yeah we went to the park on weekend mornings, while I was hungover just sitting there on the swing. Heck I remember getting ready to walk to the park and before the family would come outside I would slug a couple beers in the garage just to get that cool buzz. Of course when my alcoholism progressed I was sneaking drinks in here and there. One time towards the end I had one kid out of the bath while my wife was finishing up with the other and I had her in my arms while I went out the cold garage to sneak in a quick beer. Here I am, holding my 1.5 year old in my arms in a 30 degree garage after her bath while I chug a beer right in front of her. Shame.

My daughters are only 2 and 5 currently. I thought they are too young to know what is going on with me but I can tell that now that I am sober and committed my relationship with them is stronger than it has ever been. I honestly feel that they knew I wasn't quite right so to say. During my final days I swear my youngest one was scared of me. I was a racked up, anxiety ridden mess and I'm sure I put out a vibe that just screamed *DANGER* But now it's over. I am closer now to them than I ever have been before. Everything I do with them and for them is done with a clear head. I feel so much better as a father. I feel like a role model. I am a role model. I don't want my kids to grow up with a dad that drinks. Period. Not a drunk or an alcoholic but not a drinker, at all. I want my kids to grow up saying my dad is cool as a cucumber AND he doesn't drink. I know I won't be able to stop them from experimenting but if they can at least grow up in a house that is drunk free they will always know that there is another way.

walkingwithgod

My daughter will be 4 in July, and I adore her. She deserves a sober dad.

TotalFreedom

She does. And you are showing great determination.

People often say that you have to do it for yourself or it won't work. I've always been a bit skeptical about that. Sure, if you want to do it for yourself, go for it.

But what motivates me more is to do it for my loved ones. You can allow yourself back into addiction if it's only about you. But it takes a lot more to relapse if you're doing it for your loved ones, especially your kids.

Whatever the reason, you need to quit. You want to be a good example and she's at the age where everything makes an impression on her. Do you want to show her an alcoholic or an excellent example?

Take your adoration for her as a motivator! Nothing could be stronger than that I suppose.

Every time you even think about drinking, override that with your adoration for your daughter. And look into the two possible futures which will both have an impact on her:

1. An alcoholic dad.
2. A dad that lives the good examples all the time.

It does make a difference. You want the best for her. Be the perfect dad. In comparison to your daughter, drinking is unbelievably unimportant. Withdrawal doesn't matter compared to her. Any dad would choose a lifetime of misery to get the best for their children.

Good thing that sobriety isn't a lifetime of misery, it passes. But you would do it if it gave her happiness. I am sure of that.

So quit. Be the best dad you can be, which is what you really want. You worried about life not being as enjoyable without booze. What can beat the joy of seeing your daughter grow up well? No amount or type of booze could even begin to give you that type of happiness.

Do it for her at least. Allow her to be happy and allow her to grow up well. That is the thing that will give you happiness that no drug or substance could ever give you.

Imagine a few years from now, being sober and playing with your daughter. She is happy and enjoying her dad. Could you still worry that life is less enjoyable without booze if you think about that?