redflags

I've made it to day 41 and the fogginess is lifting more & more each day. As this is occurring, I'm beginning to find my sponsor of less & less help. She's great & exactly what I needed when I started this journey, but unless I "beg" her for some one on one time, I don't get any. She has another sponsee that takes up a lot of her time & they are ALWAYS together. This girl is much younger and has more than just sobriety to deal with, so I think my sponsor is doing a great job working with her.

We se each other at meetings and going out to dinner about 5 days a week, but other than that, we have very little communication.

I've talked to another woman, who I think might be a better fit for a sponsor for me. I'll still see my (soon to be former) sponsor a lot by default & I don't want it to be weird. I think she's a wonderful woman. Has anyone had any experiences they can share?

Thank you!

sugarbear1

Same experience, but I ended up going back to drinking because at that time I couldn't or wouldn't confront the situation and talk with my sponsor.

Have a conversation, hopefully in person, and let her know you are moving on with a new sponsor and that you value her and will continue to be a friend in recovery with her.

No other real explanation needed.

Do it for you and your recovery!

redflags

Sugarbear - great advice! I was really over complicating it in my mind! I think that's an excellent approach.

I have an amazing amount of respect for this woman & would never want to insult her. I, by no means, am an expert about how to stay sober, but what I do know is that I'm ready to work and feel the need to work this program in a little more "regimented" fashion or I'll be drinking before too long.

I'm feeling a little "needy" right now & often feel "left out" by my sponsor. She 's a big advocate of fellowship and I love that part of the program, but in the long run, it's not enough for me.

Thank you! I'd live to hear other experiences, as well!

HappyDestiny3

You did not get married..

Its okay, like SB said , just talk to her and keep her till you move on and find a new sponsor.. And yes we make up all the crazy scenario's in our mind.. That is why this is a thinking disease..

But I am a little confused, did I read that right that you go out to dinner together 5 nights a week.. And that is not enough time together with her ? And if so why are you not talking about the program over dinner..

Louise82

Excellent advice from SB and HD3.

Also, I agree with HD3 about talking about the program over dinner. If you don't want to do that in public, instead of going out for dinner every time, how about you offer to cook at your place/bring take out to her place once a week? It'll be cheaper too!

HappyDestiny3

Just checking in with ya..

redflags

Hello!

Yes, out to dinner at least 5 nights a week, but always with a group of her other sponsees & folks from the meetings. I don't offer to have her over because I have roommates that are in & out. She lives with her ailing mother, so that's never been suggested. The only one on one time has been twice while we've been at dinner and stepped to another table for 5-10 minutes.

It's not that I haven't asked, she doesn't seem to find it as necessary as I do. I'm at peace with my decision & will just let her know that I want to continue to fellowship, but have moved on to another sponsor. I really appreciate the feedback from everyone! :-)

HappyDestiny3

Good deal.....

Sounds like a great plan to me..