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Old 03-23-2013, 03:20 AM
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Location: Albuquerque NM
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Unhappy Ended up here

Hello I am new here I have a husband that is a
Functioning alcoholic and uses cocaine when drinking.
I have separated moved out and to the point where I filed a divorce. For 15 years on and on we have gone through issues because of his drinking he has been in a roll over and several fights with people he parties with. He has been unfaithful and now after 6 months of no drinking he is back to the same thing goes to work comes home irradiated picking at everything . When Friday comes along he is gone till maybe 5 a.m comes home Turning on lights, tv, making racket. I work go to school and care for my children (2). I have considered going on with divorce but feel he may get worse, he says "I keep him alive" but I am worn out. But when we have separated he stops everything. I need guidance cause I have prayed and leave and he sucks me back in.
wellwtheck is offline  
Old 03-23-2013, 03:50 AM
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Your husband is hurting you and your family. He has got to really understand what he is doing.

I really hope it gets better for you and that your husband will understand the really selfish reckless hurt he is doing/causing to his family.....before it is too late.
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Old 03-23-2013, 03:56 AM
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He is not the role model that you want for your children. The only thing I can suggest is for you to leave him if he doesn't seek professional help and recommit his life to you and your children. He made need to get worse before he realizes he needs to get better. you need to protect your children more than you need to protect him.

It sounds like he may really want to change, but he lacks the willpower and support. It is not that you don't support him, but he needs the support of a sober individual that can relate to his own experience. Someone he can call up when he is down and will remind him that his choices carry responsibilities and consequences.

He can go for long periods of time sober, but is unable to quiet the addiction within him. Ask him to go to AA or NA. You may also find comfort in a support group like Al-Anon.

Best Wishes and I am so sorry you are going through this!

Sorry if this is garbled. i haven't woken up yet and my proofreading skills are sorely lacking. I will gladly clarify what I wrote if it is unclear.
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Old 03-23-2013, 09:33 AM
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Question ended up here

Thank you for your replies, this morning he is super cheery and just got home at 3am.
I am like wow, all week he is angry and all it takes is a fix to be happy? . I am tired and you are right about the having to commit cause we have gone to church, he knows of a man who does bible studies and support groups for people with addictions . Last time I left him this was he was going to see but didn't.I will have to separate from him, it seems every other year me and the kids are moving out for a break. I need to be more stable and not allow him to talk us back until he is better. If that's possible, without getting us back home and repeating the process. I don't lose hope I want my family I am just tired, numb.
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Old 03-23-2013, 09:47 AM
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[QUOTE=wellwtheck;3876657 I need guidance cause I have prayed and leave and he sucks me back in. [/QUOTE]

Ala-anon, They will teach you how to detach from him with Love. They will show even if you choose to stay with him, how to detach and be happy despite him. It is a wonderful program and helps with co-dependency. Right now it seems your happiness is guaged by how he is behaving from day to day.

Please google Al- anon or call

Address: 9004 Menaul Blvd NE, Albuquerque, NM 87112
Phone505) 262-2177

Alanon Teaches Hope

If your loved one is in AA, then consider taking part in the Alanon program. Youíre going to learn about what your loved one is going through, and youíll gain a better understanding of their needs.
Know that even though you may not be the person who is dealing with the addiction, you may need treatment for yourself because of all youíve been through. Know that the help you need is available, so take advantage of it.

You will find awesome support and others who are or have been where you are. Also the Friends and family forum may be very helpful to you.
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