ArcticSA

Right now my other half is out getting sloshed.
No big deal right? Except that my mind is going around in seven hundred different directions. I dont know why Im feeling this way.
I feel super pissed off. Betrayed. Alone. Deserted. Waiting for him to come home to silently judge him and maybe slip in a few biting words. But WHAT THE HELL? Seriously????
I was just doing that recently!! Why does it seem so much worse now?? Aaaarrghh. I hate this.
I have no right to be stewing right now. I am also afraid. I feel like I really.really,really can NOT handle a drunk person right now. Im gonna flip.

least

I know the feeling. Even tho I used to be a drunk, it really bothers me now to be around drunk people, they are irritating. I guess it takes one to know one...

Ptcapote

Yep.

Wanted to bite my mother's head off (she is an alcoholic) on the phone last night because she kept repeating herself, circling and slurring. I was so annoyed that I found that I had been digging my fingernails into my palms the entire time to keep from snapping out at her something like, "FIND THE FRIGGING POINT ALREADY, WOMAN!!!" and "You told me that already...and that...AND that!!"

Feel SO hypocritical about that because God only knows how many times I have done the same to others.

But yes...SUPER low threshold around drunks these days.

((Hugs)) and calm vibes to you tonight, Arctic. Totally get where you're coming from tho'. Especially at home where there are minimal escape routes. Stay strong.

Toss

Your feelings are normal, it gets to me as well. For a while I thought it was because I was jealous or envious, but now I just think it's because they are slobbering drunks (said with love, I was one once).

Good topic, it is very interesting from the other side of the fence.

Toss

DAB

I know the feeling, shortly after quitting my wife was invited to a ladies night on the neighbor's deck. Even though my wife didn't drink, I could hear them all laughing, talking loud, and carrying on. It just made me very irritated. Another time at a company party, there was a coworker that was raffling off prizes. She was tipsy and acting kind of boisterous, this also annoyed the crap out of me. I think I have lightened up a bit since then because similar situations have not bothered me. Maybe that will happen with you over time as well.

Bigndfan175

I refuse to allow myself to feed my AV. if the S.O is getting sloshed and not abdicating respect for herself , others or me , what do I care? If t bugs you , you may choose a dif partner who will be a better fit according to whatever you're criteria is

ArcticSA

Well I'm gonna have to find a better way to deal with it bugging me, because I vowed to spend the rest of my life with husband,

I do need to learn how not to care so much.

Last night wasnt that bad, just a very laid back demeanor, and overly loud talking and laughing that I covered up with a fan in my room. Tonight is going to be worse because it is a HUGE party, I told him to come in the basement and sleep down there so he doesnt wake the kids bumping around. I plan on popping a antihistamine to make me sleep deep enough I wont lay awake waiting for a noise.

Last night I had a dream hubby was trying to convince me to drink and was getting angry with me for being so prude. It was awful and in the dream I was really starting to second guess myself and pretty much gave in and was going to drink. What a sickening sense of dread and shame!

RDBplus3

it seems to me...
Getting annoyed, etc about other people's behavior when they're drinking is probably very normal for a lot of newly sober people. Telling them they shouldn't drink, just because you now have a better perspective would most likely be hypocritical.

However...when you are talking about your married partner, it is a different situation which needs to be handled delicately. You do have a right to insist on communication about the situation, and to expect common ground compromises and considerations of each other's feelings and perspectives. You BOTH made a vow to live together and honor each other, in Sickness and in health. If your spouse were to suffer a debilitating accident or illness, God forbid, they would not appreciate you acting as if it never happened and really does not involve you, and it would not be right for you to have to become a house-ridden recluse either.

Also, fears are necessary and sometimes justified, but the rational-thinking-conscious-minded YOU has the ultimate say in how you process the many conflicting things running through your mind and emotions right now. Especially in early sobriety.

Additionally, prayer is a time-proven recommendation. God may not magically zap your life and fix all things, but prayer DOES have a good impact on having a well-grounded perspective. If you are in AA, talk to your Sponsor and AA friends if you have any you know you can trust. If you go to church, do the same with your pastor and well-grounded women you can trust.

Remember...DRINKING CAN ONLY MAKE THINGS WORSE.

Glad you posted....
RDB - the plus3 are my wife & kids

avocado

no. it's totally normal, because drunk people are annoying to everyone except other drunk people.