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1 month blues: Feeling antisocial

Old 03-22-2013, 06:54 PM
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1 month blues: Feeling antisocial

Anyone else get this? I'm on Day 37 and along with the boredom that I've heard others describe, I'm also feeling very antisocial. I'm normally a very social person, but I find myself not wanting to go out and see friends, or being a bit prickly when I do.

I know I shouldn't isolate myself, but it's also weird going out and then feeling uncomfortable. I didn't feel this way earlier in sobriety.

Any tips? Is this a normal part of the process or is this a bigger issue that I'm going to need to grapple with?
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Old 03-22-2013, 06:59 PM
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Resist the urge (to isolate) and go out and have some social fun sometimes. Don't do something you hate, but I wouldn't avoid people or anything.

Congrats on 37 days!!!!!!!
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Old 03-22-2013, 07:30 PM
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I had the same blues in the early 30's days. Though Im not blue anymore, I still cant dont like the idea of socializing. After all I have pretty bad social anxiety and alcohol was my miracle drug.
As of right now, I dont care. Most of my socializing was drinking anyway.
I have my animals and my family and social media and thats enough

I guess it depends on how bad it bothers you if you want to make the effort.
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Old 03-22-2013, 07:48 PM
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It's normal to feel really 'up and down' for a while in early sobriety. Stay sober and stay as active as you can stand. This too shall pass.
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Old 03-22-2013, 08:00 PM
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Fantail, yes, me too! I am on Day 39 now and for the past week I have been feeling really blah and antisocial. I am also fairly social and felt awesome for the first three and a half weeks but the last one has been a bit of a downer.

I find myself even wanting to leave work early (and I like my job and who I work with) to go home and crawl into bed with a book and be alone. So unlike me.

Also finding myself getting snarky and testy with people. Snapped at my mother and then a friend last week for relatively minor irritants that I normally would just ignore.

Anyway, glad you posted about this because I was starting to feel a little alien myself.

Hope it passes soon!
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Old 03-22-2013, 08:11 PM
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I came across this by accident! Thanks for bringing up the subject. I'm also day 39 and have been bored & blah lately. No urges or anything but no motivation or energy. I was chalking it up to a change in the weather (it's getting colder here) and hadn't even considered it might be a stage in early sobriety. Strangely, the thought makes me feel better than not having any other explanation besides weather, and if it's a stage it is bound to pass eventually ... We'll just have to keep on truckin'.
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Old 03-22-2013, 08:40 PM
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I remember feeling the same way around that time. I would force myself to go to meetings everyday (did 90 in 90) and would take on invites to get coffee/food after if someone asked me. Be gentle with yourself and try to find a balance. I bet it will pass soon. You're doing awesome, hang in there
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Old 03-22-2013, 08:45 PM
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Thanks so much everyone! It's very strange in early sobriety... every time something comes up I find myself wondering, is this the process, or is this my sober personality? In this case I really hope it's just a phase. I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one feeling this way, Kizzie & Ptcapote. And thanks Least, Arctic, & Elizabeth for your words from down the path! I'll try to fake it til I make it, as they say.
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Old 03-22-2013, 08:53 PM
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Congrats, fantail! Give my regards to Nob Hill!

I am naturally anti-social, I have almost always lived in rural areas. I really have to make an effort to be social. The first thing I looked at when I saw this thread was, "Where is the OP?" And of course, you live in the most awesome city in the world. My favorite by far--I've been all over the world, lived in the Bay Area two years. If you had been from just about anyplace else in the world, I would have thought that I could offer no support... But in San Francisco, there is no reason to feel isolated and if you need space there are plenty of peaceful locations.


I am currently working on my social anxieties by going to several AA meetings a week. So my tip would be to go to a meeting, and I also think this is an issue that might affect your sobriety. San Francisco is better than Honolulu, New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Boston, Washington, Miami, Seattle, Portland, London, Auckland, and Suva (in my opinion). Christchurch, NZ, is the only other city I have liked nearly as much as San Francisco.
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Old 03-22-2013, 09:25 PM
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Thank you quitforme! I haven't tried any AA meetings yet... maybe I will.

Coldfusion -- It's definitely a great city. There's tons to do here! And I guess that's what is making me feel a bit odd. I was invited to an art opening tonight and just did not feel like I could handle it, even though I should want to. And got asked to go on a night bike ride... wasn't feeling it. So I'm compromising with myself and going to a late night yoga class, which is pretty much the most alone you can be in a room while also technically being with other people. It's nice to live somewhere where I have options like that!
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Old 03-22-2013, 10:23 PM
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[QUOTE=fantail;3876215
Any tips? Is this a normal part of the process or is this a bigger issue that I'm going to need to grapple with?[/QUOTE]

Took a long time to become so sick with alcoholism, it's gonna take a while to feel good again. We did a lot of damage.
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