TotalFreedom

Hello,

I would like to take a moment to introduce myself.

I've subscribed to this forum out of curiosity, to assist others and to ask questions myself.

My situation is as follows:

For the past 3 years I've been a heavy drinker. Starting with one bottle of wine a night, building up to usually 2, sometimes more. It got to the point where I didn't even get hung over anymore. My body had adjusted to the alcohol.

I decided to quit yesterday and spent one night sleeping without alcohol in my system. In the past I did have 2 or 3 days where I wouldn't drink every once in a while. And it was pretty typical. Some sweating. Trouble sleeping. Nothing bad really.

Today I feel fine. Clearer. No withdrawal symptoms except for some sweating and restlessness. No desire to drink even though the physical craving is present. I just don't go with it.

I'm the type of person who, if he decides to quit, he quits. My goal is to have it under control and to drink only in acceptable amounts and mainly socially. Like having a beer with a friend.

I've been through a medical examination and remarkably I have no damage at all, except for a slightly fatty liver which is reversible. That, and the lack of any major withdrawal, leads me to believe that I'm lucky to be someone whose body tolerates alcohol well.

But it was ruining my life and I just didn't want it anymore. So I quit.

This is my story so far. Nice to meet you all. I look forward to the discussions.

TF

Panache

Hi TotalFreedom,

I too was a 2 bottle of wine a night nightmare, I'm currently on my first sober day, so have the night to contend with.

Welcome to SR, I wish you well on your journey of recovery.

DryRoastJim

Hello and Welcome! You have found the greatest (and potentially life saving) resource out there!

Nice call! And from your message, it appears that you have a good insight of what to expect. Knowledge is power and it will help you greatly to get off the sludge! But do check out SR for the great stories and resources. Learn all you can about booze and fill up your sobriety recovery toolbox!

I am a little confused here. Are you trying to moderate or quit? Please don't think me judgmental or a zealot! But I want to caution you about trying to moderate, if you suspect you have a problem with booze then you have to quit! There are no other options.

If you are quitting then that is GREAT! Just remember to be kind to yourself, accept the fact that not all days are going to be great. One day at a time is all you need to keep on track.

All the best and be well!

amberbris

Very good post. You seem to have your goals streamlined.

Nattythreads

Hey TF

I used to be proud of that "I'm lucky - my body tolerates alcohol well." And then one day, it didn't. Not that that stopped me there and then either. Signs of fatty liver are not good. Yes it's reversible over time but for it to be at that stage is a big red flag.

Grab the opp while you can and make the most of it.

NT

ReadyAtLast

Welcome to SR

The dream of every problem drinker is to get it under control and drink socially.I tried so many many times before and after coming to SR but eventually realized I just can't control it.It controls me.

TotalFreedom

Thanks everyone!

To clarify, I disagree with the notion that once you're an addict, you're an addict for life. In my opinion, you're an addict and then solve the problem and you're no longer an addict.

I did it before with smoking. It was easy. So far I find quitting drinking even easier. It's basically the same thing.

Now I can smoke a cigarette if I want to and never be addicted again. I have total control. I have no desire to smoke ever again, but I did test it.

So now that I rejected the addiction as I did with smoking, the pattern will be the same I assume. There will be some physical responses, which will go away. There will be some mental issues, which will go away. There will be cravings which are just to be ignored and which will go away as well.

At this point I don't consider myself an addict anymore. I was one for 3 years, now I'm free. And the discomfort in the initial period afterward... Ah well, it's just there. It'll go.

least

to SR! I wish you success in moderating your alcohol intake. I tried many times and couldn't do it. I hope you do better than I did.

RightLAine

Hey and welcome! I admire that you are able to just quit. I have tried to quit 4 times this month and after each failed attempt I felt even worse than the last...like I let myself down. See I know I am an alcoholic b/c every time I drink I drink in excess. I've tried having just one and it doesnt work for me. More power to you!!!

TotalFreedom

Thanks least! I expect it to be pretty much the same as everything I've been addicted to and now am no longer addicted to. I was successful in every instance.

It wasn't just cigarettes in the past. Also I estimate 7 different types of prescription medications I got addicted to and quit with no lasting addiction. It's just gone. That's why I really don't believe in "once an addict, always an addict". I think that believing that might actually make it a self-fulfilling prophecy for some people.

TotalFreedom

The difference is maybe that you tried. I never tried, I just did it. Trying implies the possibility of failure. Ever tried to open a door?

When I quit anything, it's like "That's it, I'm done with it. It's over". Then that is my reality.

So even though for a certain period of time you have been and still are an alcoholic. Even though up until now you haven't been able to stop being an alcohol yet, that does not mean anything about the future.

Next time, don't try. Just do. And never go back. Works for me.

ReadyAtLast

It's an interesting perspective. Have you ever tried quitting,cutting down or moderating drinking before?

TotalFreedom

I haven't quit before. Should have, but that was due to poor decision making.

ReadyAtLast

Thanks Total,

I hope it works out for you .For me, every time I quit I could go a few weeks then convince myself I didn't have a problem so started again. My problem is once I've had that first glass of wine I'm just getting the taste and finish the bottle then start the next. Never understood anyone drinking just 1 or 2 glasses of wine,all or nothing for me Hope moderation works out for you-it never did for me

kiki26

Hi total. Have you read any of the AVRT information online? I had "tried" to quit for years but kept relapsing, I felt like it was all a part of quitting. I started thinking I was subconsciously allowing myself to relapse because that's what alcoholics do. Now that I have told myself I will never drink again it seems so much easier. I am only a month and a half sober, but I am very interested to read what others have done that works for them. Welcome!

TotalFreedom

Up until now it didn't work for you. The question is, what is it that makes it so you can't drink within acceptable limits. If you figure that out and solve that problem, you'd be in control. You might not even want to drink anymore, who knows.

As long as you know that you can't control it, the best thing would be to ban it from your life completely.

TotalFreedom

Hi kiki. Good for you to be a month and a half sober! After "trying" to quit and relapsing for years it's quite the difference. You did make a shift that allowed you to quit.

I haven't heard of AVRT before, but I'll Google it.

Whatever works for any person is what they should do imo. And I'm glad that you have found that for you.

For me it's simply an attitude towards it. Last night I had difficulty sleeping, lots of sweating and weird dreams. And I enjoyed all of it because it means that my body and mind are healing. I can smell the toxins getting purged out of my body through my sweat. To be honest, even though it is not a pleasant smell, I like the smell of it because of what it means.

I look forward to how good I will feel once my body is clean and my mind clears up. I had the same experience with smoking and loved the whole process.

So I look forward to how wonderful it is to be recovered and also enjoy the process of getting there. Even when I look back at my difficulty sleeping last night, I think "Great! That means that my brain is adjusting back to it's natural state!". It makes me feel good.

Anyway, that's what works for me.

artsoul

Welcome TotalFreedom!

Glad you've decided to make this positive change for yourself.

ReadyAtLast

It hasn't worked for me for 20 years. Once I start drinking I don't want to stop.There is no reason why should this suddenly change now and it's not something I plan on keep trying. It's not an issue of self control-if it was no one would have a drink or drug problem or be an alcoholic or addict.

I have banned it completely-3 months plus sober now. Much easier than the constant planning, measuring, moderating, attempts at control etc. People who don't have drink problems don't need to even think about it. I hope your experiment works out.

TotalFreedom

I agree that banning it completely would be best for you in that case. Sounds like you'r doing great so far!