New here, looking for support
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 26
New here, looking for support
Hello everyone. I've been reading this forum obsessively for the last couple of days and so many of your stories were so familiar, especially the doubt and the questions "am i really an addict - oh no i'm not that bad".
I decided to join to hold myself accountable and also for support and understanding and maybe the occasionally kicking
I didn't start drinking until I was around 22, but then so many people I knew loved drinking wine and beer and it was just something that had to happen - for lunch a glass of wine, after hiking a beer, after eating too much some schnapps - you know how it is. I would drink a lot at parties, but never on my own, and then I met my ex-girlfriend and she loved champagne breakfasts and wine for lunch and wine in the evening and I just drank along with her. My best friend at the time and her boyfriend would drink a lot too. And it was always this social thing, you know, oh we are so sophisticated drinking expensive wine to our nice italian dinner! Being drunk on wine isn't really that bad right!!!
Except now I'm drinking a bottle of wine every night and more when I'm really upset about something. My life scares me, and there's a lot I'm afraid to face. I've tried being sober for 2 weeks before Christmas and generally felt awesome, but then Christmas happened and that's always a really emotionally hard time for me so I spend 3 days drunk. And then couldn't stop anymore until now.
I had a breakdown the other day, and a nice friend talked me through it, and when I woke up I was like: oh god never again I never again want to drink 2 bottles of wine and cry on the shoulders of my poor friends about things I could change if I just would stop drinking and concentrate on getting my life together.
It's hard for me to accept I'm an addict. So many people around me love drinking socially, and most of them don't have a problem IMO.
But I'm not around the 3 people who would drink the most anymore, so that's a good start? And my best friend's mother and brother are alcoholics so she's extremely supportive. Her birthday party is going to be in 2 weeks and I'm already a bit scared of being around people drinking a lot, but I feel like it's also a bit of a challenge - a good one. If I manage to not drink there I'll be so proud of myself.
I'm also seeing a therapist and I haven't talked much about drinking with her yet, but I'm going to.
Ahhh I typed a lot more than I wanted to. I've been sober for 3 days now, I'm going to be home alone the weekend and I'm scared that I'll drink. I'm still feeling really tired and sort of brain-foggy but I know it will get better within a week I hope. I'm trying to unlearn how much I used to reward myself with wine, and it's difficult. I've bought some nice tea and hot chocolate for now, lol.
Anyway if you read all of this thank you so much. I'm not really happy to be here but kind of glad I can admit to myself I need help.
I decided to join to hold myself accountable and also for support and understanding and maybe the occasionally kicking
I didn't start drinking until I was around 22, but then so many people I knew loved drinking wine and beer and it was just something that had to happen - for lunch a glass of wine, after hiking a beer, after eating too much some schnapps - you know how it is. I would drink a lot at parties, but never on my own, and then I met my ex-girlfriend and she loved champagne breakfasts and wine for lunch and wine in the evening and I just drank along with her. My best friend at the time and her boyfriend would drink a lot too. And it was always this social thing, you know, oh we are so sophisticated drinking expensive wine to our nice italian dinner! Being drunk on wine isn't really that bad right!!!
Except now I'm drinking a bottle of wine every night and more when I'm really upset about something. My life scares me, and there's a lot I'm afraid to face. I've tried being sober for 2 weeks before Christmas and generally felt awesome, but then Christmas happened and that's always a really emotionally hard time for me so I spend 3 days drunk. And then couldn't stop anymore until now.
I had a breakdown the other day, and a nice friend talked me through it, and when I woke up I was like: oh god never again I never again want to drink 2 bottles of wine and cry on the shoulders of my poor friends about things I could change if I just would stop drinking and concentrate on getting my life together.
It's hard for me to accept I'm an addict. So many people around me love drinking socially, and most of them don't have a problem IMO.
But I'm not around the 3 people who would drink the most anymore, so that's a good start? And my best friend's mother and brother are alcoholics so she's extremely supportive. Her birthday party is going to be in 2 weeks and I'm already a bit scared of being around people drinking a lot, but I feel like it's also a bit of a challenge - a good one. If I manage to not drink there I'll be so proud of myself.
I'm also seeing a therapist and I haven't talked much about drinking with her yet, but I'm going to.
Ahhh I typed a lot more than I wanted to. I've been sober for 3 days now, I'm going to be home alone the weekend and I'm scared that I'll drink. I'm still feeling really tired and sort of brain-foggy but I know it will get better within a week I hope. I'm trying to unlearn how much I used to reward myself with wine, and it's difficult. I've bought some nice tea and hot chocolate for now, lol.
Anyway if you read all of this thank you so much. I'm not really happy to be here but kind of glad I can admit to myself I need help.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 26
Sadly not really, no. She lives in a different city and I'm going to stay with her for a couple of days.
I don't think people are going to get really drunk or anything because she can't stand alcohol either and doesn't drink? I don't know, I should talk to her about it.
I don't think people are going to get really drunk or anything because she can't stand alcohol either and doesn't drink? I don't know, I should talk to her about it.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Two weeks from now is a decently long time to build up resistance. Hopefully you'll find the focus is on your friend and not on the alcohol consumption. Keep yourself busy this weekend. Sleep a lot if you can!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 303
Hi Pearls
Like you I found this forum and started to read obsessively and I think that reading so much here helped me to properly identify what I knew anyway but that I found all too easy to push to one side, that my drinking habits are a problem, and not healthy.
So good on you for joining up, the support here is awesome (and not just because you'll get patted on the back, as you've realised you might get a kick up the bum too!)
If you can I think you should talk to your friend about what's going on with you. And make a plan of action of how you are going to stay away from drinking alcohol yourself at the event. It will be hard, quite probably if you have remained sober that long it will be veeeery easy to tell yourself that you "deserve" a drink, or that "one or two won't hurt". Read more stories here and you'll not read any accounts from anyone who was able to say "hey! I just had a couple and then I stopped and I haven't had a drink since....." People who can do that don't post here.
Good luck on your journey though, keep reading and posting. x
Like you I found this forum and started to read obsessively and I think that reading so much here helped me to properly identify what I knew anyway but that I found all too easy to push to one side, that my drinking habits are a problem, and not healthy.
So good on you for joining up, the support here is awesome (and not just because you'll get patted on the back, as you've realised you might get a kick up the bum too!)
If you can I think you should talk to your friend about what's going on with you. And make a plan of action of how you are going to stay away from drinking alcohol yourself at the event. It will be hard, quite probably if you have remained sober that long it will be veeeery easy to tell yourself that you "deserve" a drink, or that "one or two won't hurt". Read more stories here and you'll not read any accounts from anyone who was able to say "hey! I just had a couple and then I stopped and I haven't had a drink since....." People who can do that don't post here.
Good luck on your journey though, keep reading and posting. x
Keeping it simple!
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Surrey, BC
Posts: 3,282
Hi Pearls.
The first step is admitting you need help. I didn't want to admit I was an alcoholic either. I come from a family of them and swore I would never become one.
Congrats on 3 days!
The first step is admitting you need help. I didn't want to admit I was an alcoholic either. I come from a family of them and swore I would never become one.
Congrats on 3 days!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 26
Thank you Gilmer! Yes I want to sleep a lot, and read a lot (which unlike movies and tv-show I don't associate with drinking). Maybe some exercising. I'm so tired right now aaaaah.
misspond, right, I tell myself that if I didn't have a problem I wouldn't be here obviously. And I already talked to my friend about it a little the last time I tried staying sober, but she doesn't know I started drinking again. I'm going to tell her though, I know she'll be very supportive.
Thank you, it's really good to get support and not feel so alone anymore.
misspond, right, I tell myself that if I didn't have a problem I wouldn't be here obviously. And I already talked to my friend about it a little the last time I tried staying sober, but she doesn't know I started drinking again. I'm going to tell her though, I know she'll be very supportive.
Thank you, it's really good to get support and not feel so alone anymore.
to the family! Congrats on your three days sober.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Eire
Posts: 211
I had a breakdown the other day, and a nice friend talked me through it, and when I woke up I was like: oh god never again I never again want to drink 2 bottles of wine and cry on the shoulders of my poor friends about things I could change if I just would stop drinking and concentrate on getting my life together.
Welcome Pearls, this statement is exactly my experience. I too progressed to 1 bottle to 2 per night, over past few years, creeped up on me. I can relate, in that, I woke up feeling like sh.... having spent previous night drunk and crying on friend shoulder. I barely remembered it (black out) and was mortified. This guy expressed his concern over my drinking to me. I was mortified, and I gave up (coming up to 5 weeks now), Could not do it alone, so attend support group twice a week, lots of reading on the subject and of course SR. I've made this my priority, I had to. Wishing you the best, I know how hard it is not to pick up that bottle of wine
Welcome Pearls, this statement is exactly my experience. I too progressed to 1 bottle to 2 per night, over past few years, creeped up on me. I can relate, in that, I woke up feeling like sh.... having spent previous night drunk and crying on friend shoulder. I barely remembered it (black out) and was mortified. This guy expressed his concern over my drinking to me. I was mortified, and I gave up (coming up to 5 weeks now), Could not do it alone, so attend support group twice a week, lots of reading on the subject and of course SR. I've made this my priority, I had to. Wishing you the best, I know how hard it is not to pick up that bottle of wine
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Pleased to meet you, Pearls.
I felt so free when I finally came here and admitted what was happening with me. I had no one else in my life with the problem - they were all fine with a drink or two. When I read others stories I couldn't believe there were so many of 'me' out there - with the same thoughts and challenges. It's a family here - and we are glad you joined us. You're not alone anymore.
I felt so free when I finally came here and admitted what was happening with me. I had no one else in my life with the problem - they were all fine with a drink or two. When I read others stories I couldn't believe there were so many of 'me' out there - with the same thoughts and challenges. It's a family here - and we are glad you joined us. You're not alone anymore.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 26
Thank you so much for the welcome everyone! Of course later yesterday I had several moments of "oh god I can't imagine never again drinking ever, I'm sure I can just moderate etc.". Which is a lie, because every time I wanted to drink less I ended up drinking more.
I hope this gets easier.
Trying to take it one day at a time.
4 days!
I hope this gets easier.
Trying to take it one day at a time.
4 days!
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