devastated
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6
devastated
Hi...my husband is an alcoholic. He entered an outpatient program last fall after he cheated on me. We worked on our marriage and became pregnant again. He continued to drink in a "controlled" manner and smoke pot and I can honestly say he did a pretty good job. I was still always waiting. Well, a month ago his favourite band came to town and he got very drunk and stayed out past 3am. We fought about it and I eventually let it go because I figured it was a once off-even though my inner voice told me different. Last night he didn't come home. He thought our toddler and I were at my parents but we had come home early-we arrived -and his dad happend to pull up at the same time and come in the house with me to an empty house. A fw minutes later, he arrived, high as a kite. I am nine months pregnant and have a 19 month old. I don't know what to do. I have left for now and am at my parents. I haven't heard from him at all and I plan on not speaking with him for at least a few days as I have never done that before-even when I have left previously. I am so confused...I realize he is an addict and unfortunately I love the jackass but I feel like I can't do this anymore...especially with a second baby on the way. I am having a c section in 1 month and I am so scared to do it on my own. I hate him for putting me in this situation. Why did I fall in love with an addict??
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 223
Oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I am a mother of 3 young children but I'm also a problem drinker. I can't say I have experience with your situation of being married to an alcoholic, however, I can relate to how lonely you must feel. I'm probably what you'd call a functioning alcoholic. Ie, I binge drink on weekends when the kids are asleep and then have to suffer terrible hangovers while taking the chidlren to soccer etc. This robbs me of precious quality time I should be having with my children but I have to do it all because if i don't nobody will. My husband is always working so hangovers or no hangovers, it's got to be me. Sometimes I feel like a single parent and I'm so terribly lonely. I wish you luck and hope that your husband will get the help he needs before it's too late. Hugs to you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,133
Hi jenlane,
Very sorry for what you're going through with your husband. Awful position to be in with another baby on the way. In a few days' time maybe you'll be better able to think through the right course for yourself and your kids. Please look out for yourselves FIRST AND FOREMOST -- I don't have kids so this is easy for me to say, but I really think you forego the right to fool around with another addict when kids are in the picture.
Might be best to stay separated from your husband until he demonstrates his commitment to sobriety on his own for a while? He certainly doesn't sound healthy now. Has he ever acknowledged a need to quit drinking altogether?
Maybe you could find some much-needed support at an Al-Anon meeting? In the meantime, you'll find sympathy, and maybe some words of advice here as well.
Keep your head up and hang in there!!
Very sorry for what you're going through with your husband. Awful position to be in with another baby on the way. In a few days' time maybe you'll be better able to think through the right course for yourself and your kids. Please look out for yourselves FIRST AND FOREMOST -- I don't have kids so this is easy for me to say, but I really think you forego the right to fool around with another addict when kids are in the picture.
Might be best to stay separated from your husband until he demonstrates his commitment to sobriety on his own for a while? He certainly doesn't sound healthy now. Has he ever acknowledged a need to quit drinking altogether?
Maybe you could find some much-needed support at an Al-Anon meeting? In the meantime, you'll find sympathy, and maybe some words of advice here as well.
Keep your head up and hang in there!!
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
I am so proud of you, that in this painful and frightening situation you have done a wise and courageous thing...taking care of you and your children.
I wish there was an easy way out.
Hugs.
I wish there was an easy way out.
Hugs.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Tennessee... The mountainous side.
Posts: 157
Wow... this thread hit home in so many ways. I can relate to the initial post and the first reply by Flujays. In a way... I am both your husband and Flu. I don't even know where to start...
I have two small kids and one on the way. My wife works incredibly long hours and many overnight hours. I'm basically a single dad quite a bit during the week. It is incredibly lonely. I'm married to my best friend and we love each other so much... but it is so lonely... and incredibly stressful raising kids often alone. I started drinking more after we had kids to escape the looniness and deal with the stress. In the beginning I wasn't aware of the damage I was slowly doing to my relationships. I take some comfort in knowing I have never abused my kids and have been a good dad. That said I have missed out on so much by drinking and playing the "hangover at Saturday functions" game.
During my "free time" I felt justified in getting absolutely loaded. In front of the kids. Not blatantly... but definitely in front of them. I would stumble around, disappear at birthday parties, on and on... My mind also started to wonder. I would think I was dealt such an unfair deck of cards. I never dreamed I would be a "mom" so to speak. My relationship suffered with my wife. I thought our sex life was struggling because she was always tired or working so much... not paying attention to me. That led my mind to wonder and think about what else was out there. Drunk enough, one can act on any thoughts no matter how damaging they seem when considering sober.
It was such a dangerous pattern.
I finally came to the realization I was missing out on everything important in my little bubble of life and I needed to change. I was living so selfishly. The only thing that mattered was me, getting loaded, and wondering what else was out there. What fun was I missing...? Instead, I should have been paying closer attention to what was right here in these walls and how I could do and be the very best father and husband I could - despite my own ideas of a "perfect life"...
I feel fortunate to be sober. My wife could have left me all those times I was drunk or high, stumbling around the house, not paying attention to the kids or being a drunk father. I could have cheated but I didn't... although the thoughts of drifting did enter my mind.
This world is littered with mothers and fathers who left their families. Stories on this site are far too many about nonexistent parents, riddled relationships, and broken homes.
I am bound and determined to avoid that and feel grateful I have been given that desire in time. I hope. I'm learning to deal with the loneliness associated with being the spouse of an incredibly hard working woman and the gender role reversal I have been placed in by OUR CHOICES to start a family.
Your husband is hanging on to old ways. He is an addict. He's both addicted to alcohol and the partying lifestyle of weed and concerts... and addicted to his old way of life. I would suggest loving him firmly. Don't let your kids grow up exposed to the dangers associated with a loaded father and try talking reasonably about the pain he is causing you and the inability to be the father he should. Don't lash out at him - when my wife did that it just made me angrier. Ask him if you can talk sometime. Bring up the things that are hurting you lovingly with reasons why they hurt. Tell him your dreams of a perfect family and tell him you want him to be in it - as a dad and a husband. Tell him his kids are watching his every movement and one day will live the life their father lived. Sober or not. If he gets angry keep your cool and suggest talking it over another time... just be patient and make sure you approach him without scold or blame.
I hope he comes around. I finally did and things are hard... but man are they so much better. And, I don't miss getting loaded and am embracing my speck on this planet as a dad and husband... trying my damnedest to eliminate all the incredibly selfish behaviors that damn near ruined my marriage and life...
Good luck... Send me a message if you want to chat further...
I have two small kids and one on the way. My wife works incredibly long hours and many overnight hours. I'm basically a single dad quite a bit during the week. It is incredibly lonely. I'm married to my best friend and we love each other so much... but it is so lonely... and incredibly stressful raising kids often alone. I started drinking more after we had kids to escape the looniness and deal with the stress. In the beginning I wasn't aware of the damage I was slowly doing to my relationships. I take some comfort in knowing I have never abused my kids and have been a good dad. That said I have missed out on so much by drinking and playing the "hangover at Saturday functions" game.
During my "free time" I felt justified in getting absolutely loaded. In front of the kids. Not blatantly... but definitely in front of them. I would stumble around, disappear at birthday parties, on and on... My mind also started to wonder. I would think I was dealt such an unfair deck of cards. I never dreamed I would be a "mom" so to speak. My relationship suffered with my wife. I thought our sex life was struggling because she was always tired or working so much... not paying attention to me. That led my mind to wonder and think about what else was out there. Drunk enough, one can act on any thoughts no matter how damaging they seem when considering sober.
It was such a dangerous pattern.
I finally came to the realization I was missing out on everything important in my little bubble of life and I needed to change. I was living so selfishly. The only thing that mattered was me, getting loaded, and wondering what else was out there. What fun was I missing...? Instead, I should have been paying closer attention to what was right here in these walls and how I could do and be the very best father and husband I could - despite my own ideas of a "perfect life"...
I feel fortunate to be sober. My wife could have left me all those times I was drunk or high, stumbling around the house, not paying attention to the kids or being a drunk father. I could have cheated but I didn't... although the thoughts of drifting did enter my mind.
This world is littered with mothers and fathers who left their families. Stories on this site are far too many about nonexistent parents, riddled relationships, and broken homes.
I am bound and determined to avoid that and feel grateful I have been given that desire in time. I hope. I'm learning to deal with the loneliness associated with being the spouse of an incredibly hard working woman and the gender role reversal I have been placed in by OUR CHOICES to start a family.
Your husband is hanging on to old ways. He is an addict. He's both addicted to alcohol and the partying lifestyle of weed and concerts... and addicted to his old way of life. I would suggest loving him firmly. Don't let your kids grow up exposed to the dangers associated with a loaded father and try talking reasonably about the pain he is causing you and the inability to be the father he should. Don't lash out at him - when my wife did that it just made me angrier. Ask him if you can talk sometime. Bring up the things that are hurting you lovingly with reasons why they hurt. Tell him your dreams of a perfect family and tell him you want him to be in it - as a dad and a husband. Tell him his kids are watching his every movement and one day will live the life their father lived. Sober or not. If he gets angry keep your cool and suggest talking it over another time... just be patient and make sure you approach him without scold or blame.
I hope he comes around. I finally did and things are hard... but man are they so much better. And, I don't miss getting loaded and am embracing my speck on this planet as a dad and husband... trying my damnedest to eliminate all the incredibly selfish behaviors that damn near ruined my marriage and life...
Good luck... Send me a message if you want to chat further...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6
Thank you everyone
Oh My...it is so nice to get support from complete strangers. I have friends who love me but all they can see is the hurt and damage and want me far far from him...so it's so nice to have unbiased advise.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6
Originally Posted by Paddler 
Wow... this thread hit home in so many ways. I can relate to the initial post and the first reply by Flujays. In a way... I am both your husband and Flu. I don't even know where to start...
I have two small kids and one on the way. My wife works incredibly long hours and many overnight hours. I'm basically a single dad quite a bit during the week. It is incredibly lonely. I'm married to my best friend and we love each other so much... but it is so lonely... and incredibly stressful raising kids often alone. I started drinking more after we had kids to escape the looniness and deal with the stress. In the beginning I wasn't aware of the damage I was slowly doing to my relationships. I take some comfort in knowing I have never abused my kids and have been a good dad. That said I have missed out on so much by drinking and playing the "hangover at Saturday functions" game.
During my "free time" I felt justified in getting absolutely loaded. In front of the kids. Not blatantly... but definitely in front of them. I would stumble around, disappear at birthday parties, on and on... My mind also started to wonder. I would think I was dealt such an unfair deck of cards. I never dreamed I would be a "mom" so to speak. My relationship suffered with my wife. I thought our sex life was struggling because she was always tired or working so much... not paying attention to me. That led my mind to wonder and think about what else was out there. Drunk enough, one can act on any thoughts no matter how damaging they seem when considering sober.
It was such a dangerous pattern.
I finally came to the realization I was missing out on everything important in my little bubble of life and I needed to change. I was living so selfishly. The only thing that mattered was me, getting loaded, and wondering what else was out there. What fun was I missing...? Instead, I should have been paying closer attention to what was right here in these walls and how I could do and be the very best father and husband I could - despite my own ideas of a "perfect life"...
I feel fortunate to be sober. My wife could have left me all those times I was drunk or high, stumbling around the house, not paying attention to the kids or being a drunk father. I could have cheated but I didn't... although the thoughts of drifting did enter my mind.
This world is littered with mothers and fathers who left their families. Stories on this site are far too many about nonexistent parents, riddled relationships, and broken homes.
I am bound and determined to avoid that and feel grateful I have been given that desire in time. I hope. I'm learning to deal with the loneliness associated with being the spouse of an incredibly hard working woman and the gender role reversal I have been placed in by OUR CHOICES to start a family.
Your husband is hanging on to old ways. He is an addict. He's both addicted to alcohol and the partying lifestyle of weed and concerts... and addicted to his old way of life. I would suggest loving him firmly. Don't let your kids grow up exposed to the dangers associated with a loaded father and try talking reasonably about the pain he is causing you and the inability to be the father he should. Don't lash out at him - when my wife did that it just made me angrier. Ask him if you can talk sometime. Bring up the things that are hurting you lovingly with reasons why they hurt. Tell him your dreams of a perfect family and tell him you want him to be in it - as a dad and a husband. Tell him his kids are watching his every movement and one day will live the life their father lived. Sober or not. If he gets angry keep your cool and suggest talking it over another time... just be patient and make sure you approach him without scold or blame.
I hope he comes around. I finally did and things are hard... but man are they so much better. And, I don't miss getting loaded and am embracing my speck on this planet as a dad and husband... trying my damnedest to eliminate all the incredibly selfish behaviors that damn near ruined my marriage and life...
Good luck... Send me a message if you want to chat further...
I have two small kids and one on the way. My wife works incredibly long hours and many overnight hours. I'm basically a single dad quite a bit during the week. It is incredibly lonely. I'm married to my best friend and we love each other so much... but it is so lonely... and incredibly stressful raising kids often alone. I started drinking more after we had kids to escape the looniness and deal with the stress. In the beginning I wasn't aware of the damage I was slowly doing to my relationships. I take some comfort in knowing I have never abused my kids and have been a good dad. That said I have missed out on so much by drinking and playing the "hangover at Saturday functions" game.
During my "free time" I felt justified in getting absolutely loaded. In front of the kids. Not blatantly... but definitely in front of them. I would stumble around, disappear at birthday parties, on and on... My mind also started to wonder. I would think I was dealt such an unfair deck of cards. I never dreamed I would be a "mom" so to speak. My relationship suffered with my wife. I thought our sex life was struggling because she was always tired or working so much... not paying attention to me. That led my mind to wonder and think about what else was out there. Drunk enough, one can act on any thoughts no matter how damaging they seem when considering sober.
It was such a dangerous pattern.
I finally came to the realization I was missing out on everything important in my little bubble of life and I needed to change. I was living so selfishly. The only thing that mattered was me, getting loaded, and wondering what else was out there. What fun was I missing...? Instead, I should have been paying closer attention to what was right here in these walls and how I could do and be the very best father and husband I could - despite my own ideas of a "perfect life"...
I feel fortunate to be sober. My wife could have left me all those times I was drunk or high, stumbling around the house, not paying attention to the kids or being a drunk father. I could have cheated but I didn't... although the thoughts of drifting did enter my mind.
This world is littered with mothers and fathers who left their families. Stories on this site are far too many about nonexistent parents, riddled relationships, and broken homes.
I am bound and determined to avoid that and feel grateful I have been given that desire in time. I hope. I'm learning to deal with the loneliness associated with being the spouse of an incredibly hard working woman and the gender role reversal I have been placed in by OUR CHOICES to start a family.
Your husband is hanging on to old ways. He is an addict. He's both addicted to alcohol and the partying lifestyle of weed and concerts... and addicted to his old way of life. I would suggest loving him firmly. Don't let your kids grow up exposed to the dangers associated with a loaded father and try talking reasonably about the pain he is causing you and the inability to be the father he should. Don't lash out at him - when my wife did that it just made me angrier. Ask him if you can talk sometime. Bring up the things that are hurting you lovingly with reasons why they hurt. Tell him your dreams of a perfect family and tell him you want him to be in it - as a dad and a husband. Tell him his kids are watching his every movement and one day will live the life their father lived. Sober or not. If he gets angry keep your cool and suggest talking it over another time... just be patient and make sure you approach him without scold or blame.
I hope he comes around. I finally did and things are hard... but man are they so much better. And, I don't miss getting loaded and am embracing my speck on this planet as a dad and husband... trying my damnedest to eliminate all the incredibly selfish behaviors that damn near ruined my marriage and life...
Good luck... Send me a message if you want to chat further...
I am not sure if I am replying correctly to y our thread...learning curve
I appreciate your post as I feel like my husband is feeling similar thoughts. He is an AMAZING dad and I know he really wants a family-our family-but he can't seem to let go of the party and his single days. He is a total family guy mon-fri and most weekends and then it's like I can feel his addiction creeping up on him and he goes crazy. It is so confusing to me because he loves our daughter so much (he says he loves me so much as well-but I have to question this) yet he goes off the deep end knowing fully what the potential consequences will be. I got a text from him this morning apologizing and saying how much he loves us and that our family is the most important thing in the world and that he is sorry that he keeps failing me...and I wonder, Why the hell don't you get help then and admit that you cannot control this on your own?! Why can't he tell his friends that he has a problem?? I am so scared to do this on my own (financially and emotionally). The last thing I want is for my children to grow up in a broken home- but I feel like I need to model strength and happiness and if mommy is crying all the time, what does that say to them. My daughter who I want so badly to find true love one day sees her mother being verbally abused and ignored. She has already seen me crying and asks "u ok?". She is 18 months old-this is not ok. I look at families around me and although I realize that everyone has problems, I just wonder why the hell I was dealt this deck of cards. I work hard, I have a great career, I am dedicated to my friends and family yet the one person who is supposed to be my greatest support is my greatest burden.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6
yes, I can stay here. I just really want my husband to be there for the birth of our child. It breaks my heart and scares the &*& out of me to think of doing this with anyone but him. It makes me so mad that he can put me in this position when I am so vulnerable. At the same time, I don't think he deserves the honour of being there. Such a conundrum.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Tennessee... The mountainous side.
Posts: 157
I hope and pray it works out for you. I want to thank you for having the courage to post here. Reading your story was a reminder of where I have been, almost was, and wish to go... It truly turned my morning and day around. keep your head up!!
keep your head up!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 951
Hi Jen,
Welcome to Sober Recovery. So glad you found the forums. You will get some amazing support here from people that have walked in your shoes.
We also have a Friends and Family forums for people dealing with loved ones that are alcoholics/addicts. When you get a chance, check out the Sticky Posts at the top of those forums. There is life saving information there.
So sorry you are going through this, but there is help and you'll find people here that are surviving and thriving despite the pain of having a loved one addicted to drugs and alcohol.
Please keep posting and when you get a chance, read some of the threads in the Family Forums. This place has been a life saver for so many of us.
Peace and Prayers for you, your husband and your family.
Hanna
Welcome to Sober Recovery. So glad you found the forums. You will get some amazing support here from people that have walked in your shoes.
We also have a Friends and Family forums for people dealing with loved ones that are alcoholics/addicts. When you get a chance, check out the Sticky Posts at the top of those forums. There is life saving information there.
So sorry you are going through this, but there is help and you'll find people here that are surviving and thriving despite the pain of having a loved one addicted to drugs and alcohol.
Please keep posting and when you get a chance, read some of the threads in the Family Forums. This place has been a life saver for so many of us.
Peace and Prayers for you, your husband and your family.
Hanna
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,760
Here's a link to the friends and family forum that might interest you. Give it a look.
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: NE Wisconsin USA
Posts: 6,223
Jenlane...thank you for posting. In al-anon I accepted the facts that I could have done nothing to change my alcoholic spouse. Her alcoholism/addictions were much stronger than her and I both. I left a marriage, but in doing so, left her with the three children. Thirty years later I have finally got over blaming myself.
During her affairs I was so angry and obsessed that I thought I would physically harm her, the other men an. I don't regret leaving. I have wonderful relationships with the children. I hear she is still battling/denying any substance abuse issues. But, she also did a wonderful "job" raising the children. I just don't care anymore about her.
Her 'sober' parents were incredible in part for raising the boys.
Also in many AA meetings I have heard stories of active alcoholics not being there for their child's birth because they were drunk or showing up drunk. There was always deep regret on their part.
Like you are taking care of those children take great care of yourself. All of this emotional crap going on can wait after the birth. You are responsible only for yourself and the kids.
I would ask him only to be there for the birth if he is sober, and that the grandparents also be there, at least in the waiting rooms.
Best to you...I am so proud and honored to read your posts. Thank you.
During her affairs I was so angry and obsessed that I thought I would physically harm her, the other men an. I don't regret leaving. I have wonderful relationships with the children. I hear she is still battling/denying any substance abuse issues. But, she also did a wonderful "job" raising the children. I just don't care anymore about her.
Her 'sober' parents were incredible in part for raising the boys.
Also in many AA meetings I have heard stories of active alcoholics not being there for their child's birth because they were drunk or showing up drunk. There was always deep regret on their part.
Like you are taking care of those children take great care of yourself. All of this emotional crap going on can wait after the birth. You are responsible only for yourself and the kids.
I would ask him only to be there for the birth if he is sober, and that the grandparents also be there, at least in the waiting rooms.
Best to you...I am so proud and honored to read your posts. Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 223
Originally Posted by Paddler
I have two small kids and one on the way. My wife works incredibly long hours and many overnight hours. I'm basically a single dad quite a bit during the week. It is incredibly lonely. I'm married to my best friend and we love each other so much... but it is so lonely... and incredibly stressful raising kids often alone. I started drinking more after we had kids to escape the looniness and deal with the stress. In the beginning I wasn't aware of the damage I was slowly doing to my relationships. I take some comfort in knowing I have never abused my kids and have been a good dad. That said I have missed out on so much by drinking and playing the "hangover at Saturday functions" game.
During my "free time" I felt justified in getting absolutely loaded. In front of the kids. Not blatantly... but definitely in front of them.
...It was such a dangerous pattern.
I finally came to the realization I was missing out on everything important in my little bubble of life and I needed to change. I was living so selfishly. The only thing that mattered was me, getting loaded, and wondering what else was out there. What fun was I missing...? Instead, I should have been paying closer attention to what was right here in these walls and how I could do and be the very best father and husband I could - despite my own ideas of a "perfect life"...
I am bound and determined to avoid that and feel grateful I have been given that desire in time. I hope. I'm learning to deal with the loneliness associated with being the spouse of an incredibly hard working woman and the gender role reversal I have been placed in by OUR CHOICES to start a family.
Your husband is hanging on to old ways. He is an addict. He's both addicted to alcohol and the partying lifestyle of weed and concerts... and addicted to his old way of life. I would suggest loving him firmly. Don't let your kids grow up exposed to the dangers associated with a loaded father and try talking reasonably about the pain he is causing you and the inability to be the father he should. Don't lash out at him - when my wife did that it just made me angrier. Ask him if you can talk sometime. Bring up the things that are hurting you lovingly with reasons why they hurt. Tell him your dreams of a perfect family and tell him you want him to be in it - as a dad and a husband. Tell him his kids are watching his every movement and one day will live the life their father lived. Sober or not. If he gets angry keep your cool and suggest talking it over another time... just be patient and make sure you approach him without scold or blame.
I hope he comes around. I finally did and things are hard... but man are they so much better. And, I don't miss getting loaded and am embracing my speck on this planet as a dad and husband... trying my damnedest to eliminate all the incredibly selfish behaviors that damn near ruined my marriage and life...
Good luck... Send me a message if you want to chat further...
During my "free time" I felt justified in getting absolutely loaded. In front of the kids. Not blatantly... but definitely in front of them.
...It was such a dangerous pattern.
I finally came to the realization I was missing out on everything important in my little bubble of life and I needed to change. I was living so selfishly. The only thing that mattered was me, getting loaded, and wondering what else was out there. What fun was I missing...? Instead, I should have been paying closer attention to what was right here in these walls and how I could do and be the very best father and husband I could - despite my own ideas of a "perfect life"...
I am bound and determined to avoid that and feel grateful I have been given that desire in time. I hope. I'm learning to deal with the loneliness associated with being the spouse of an incredibly hard working woman and the gender role reversal I have been placed in by OUR CHOICES to start a family.
Your husband is hanging on to old ways. He is an addict. He's both addicted to alcohol and the partying lifestyle of weed and concerts... and addicted to his old way of life. I would suggest loving him firmly. Don't let your kids grow up exposed to the dangers associated with a loaded father and try talking reasonably about the pain he is causing you and the inability to be the father he should. Don't lash out at him - when my wife did that it just made me angrier. Ask him if you can talk sometime. Bring up the things that are hurting you lovingly with reasons why they hurt. Tell him your dreams of a perfect family and tell him you want him to be in it - as a dad and a husband. Tell him his kids are watching his every movement and one day will live the life their father lived. Sober or not. If he gets angry keep your cool and suggest talking it over another time... just be patient and make sure you approach him without scold or blame.
I hope he comes around. I finally did and things are hard... but man are they so much better. And, I don't miss getting loaded and am embracing my speck on this planet as a dad and husband... trying my damnedest to eliminate all the incredibly selfish behaviors that damn near ruined my marriage and life...
Good luck... Send me a message if you want to chat further...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: My city of ruins...
Posts: 593
As an adult child of an alcoholic let me just say that if you can spare your children the complications and pain of growing up with an addicted father it is the best gift you will ever give them (other than life, of course).
Trust me...the collateral damage is life long and painful for the child. I'm sure others here can attest to this too.
I wish you strength and courage during such a challenging time.
Trust me...the collateral damage is life long and painful for the child. I'm sure others here can attest to this too.
I wish you strength and courage during such a challenging time.
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