I'm back to try this again.
 

Hello everyone. It's shameful reading my old posts. I joined awhile back, seemed to have a solid understanding of my disease, and thought I was done drinking.

I just recently turned 29. I've been drinking fairly heavy for about 6 years, started out as a one/two night a week thing with friends, and gettin. drunk swiftly became a solo activity. I've had a few 'whoa, that was an eye-opener' binges but quickly decided that I could 'control my drinking.'

I started up again, heavier of course. At my worst i'm nearly a daily drinker, 4 beers or so to get buzzed and self-medicate my unsomnua/anxiety. On days off it's maybe 7-8 beers a night, so that's 2 days a week. Then I would binge here and there, starting in the morning, having hard liquor and drinking to cure my hangovers.

This behavior led to trouble in my current relationship, and we agreed that I should move out to give us some space. I moved into a nearby apartment, and the drinking got worse. More frequent binges, blackouts. I'm jealous by nature, so when in my deepest drunks, I know that i treated my girlfriend horribly.

Culmination of this whole thing: a 3 day binge beginning Saturday March 18th around 3 in the afternoon. I drank probably 12 beers, woke up still drunk and called in sick to work. Grabbed more beer, started over around 11 am. Drank all day, probably 12-14 beers. The rest of the time frame is fuzzy, but i know that i drank 2 six-packs of 16oz beers throughout monday, leading into tuesday at 7am. I stole 2-3oz of schnapps out of the cupboard around noon at my best guest.

Then i ran out of steam, and the severity of the situation hit me. I stopped then, and withdrawals hit quickly. I have been freaking out in bed with anxiety and insomnia since Tuesday. Drinking a lot of water, yesterday I managed to get a can of soup in me. Today, more soup. Gatorade, oatmeal and vitamin water. Both nights i have managed to sleep for 15 minutes perhaps. I'm incredibly dizzy with a strange headache. Spoke to an advice nurse, and managed to get an appointment with a doc tomorrow morning. She said that after 48 hours sober, if I have no profuse sweating, serious tremors,confusion or hallucination,the worst is over.

But I've jeapordized my job. Somehow I remained nice with my girlfriend on the phone and through text, lol, so that might be OK. This was my worst binge ever, I,m so glad to be sober but this insomnia is MURDER. I feel like I,m underwater. I'm sorry this is so long, I just couldn't stop spilling my guts. I don't have a bug support system, but I am done drinking, 100%. I will keep reading and posting, thanks for being here.

Wait, the 18th was Monday right??

Just stay here with us. We'll try and help ya get straight ;)

Oops! Yeah started Saturday the 16th. Thank you :)

Good luck and keep up with the good work- sometimes if you talk with your boss and are honest with the problems your going through they may work with you- :ring

Go to work and keep busy. Don't just stay home, go out or start looking to help others. Do something with your girl friend. Tell her you are going to do this and stop. Come here more often and let people know what you are going through. Go see the doctor and tell him or her what your problem is and AA meetings they will listen to anyone who shows up. But don't waste your money on drinking when you can save that money for a goal in life and write that plan out and prove it. See you around.

We have all been there one time or another. Not being able to sleep always is the hardest for me since when we are trying to get clean and don't feel good sleep just seems like the perfect way to make the hours fly by expecially when we don't have any energry.

If you talk to your doctor your doctor might be able to recommend a non-addictive sleep aid that will be able to help you get through the next couple weeks while your body is trying to bounce back. I found being open with doctors has helped me alot since addicts have different needs then just regular people. If your doctor doesn't know the whole truth then you won't get the right help.

Basically all you can do is try to muddle through the days. If you don't have a big support system try going to some meetings and just listen or vent..whatever feels comfortable. I found that the more busy I would keep myself the faster my body would bounce back. You don't want to lay around all day and get stiff and bored. Boredom is always a trigger for me at least.

Don't give up!

Thanks for the replies. No I'm definitely not thinking of drinking. After 3 nights of drunk sleep followed by nearly ZERO sleep, my brain is fried enough that I can't imagine a drink. But I know where this leads... once I get calmed down and get some solid rest, a beer is gonna sound deeeeeelicious. :headbanger: