Mirage74

I am on day 4, and the past 3 days have been hell. I have had unbelievable cravings. I want to drink right now, really bad. And the only thing that kept me from drinking is coming here and reading the posts. So thanks to everyone who is posting, whether you are brand new or a veteran. You others in the first few days who are struggling and posting about it is helping alot. It makes me realize I'm not alone in this. And the people with time encourage me to stick with it. Im almost sure if it wasn't for this board I would be drunk by now.

I don't even want to go to an AA meeting. I don't like the people. I don't think I like any people. I just feel so angry, frustrated, sad. And did I say angry? People just always seem to tick me off. I don't know if this is the alcohol withdrawal or if I have anger issues. Probably both. I just don't know how to deal with the emotions. Part of me wants to go take a baseball bat and hit a tree about 50 times.

Anyway, sorry for the vent. And thanks to everyone who is keeping this board going..

2granddaughters

AA saved my life.

It was the last thing I wanted to do but it came down to AA or die for me. I came to love it.

All the best.

Bob R

soberjim

Mirage....Never need to apologize for venting!

Angry...yes I get it. You are right.. probably both. People don't get any smarter once you stop drinking.

SR has helped me many times...Consider posting in the under 30 day thread. Lots of support there.
I'm on day 26...Trust me..it will get easier...Keep working at it and don't give up.

Jim

MeSoSober

Stay strong, Mirage -- YOU ARE IN CONTROL. Repeat as necessary!

Murdock80

I was in the exact same spot last night. I came here and posted about my feelings and it really helped. Try finding a hot drink (hot tea, coffee, cocoa) or a tall glass of Ice water or iced tea. That is what got me through.

Keep venting and stay strong! We’re all rooting for you!

rhpudgey3

I'm on day 1 and I feel the same way

RightLAine

Please dont drink take it from me....as I feel like complete $hit today after making it 2 days in sobriety I caved in and drank alot last night. I thought I would have just one and it ended up me not remembering how I got to bed and then coming to work 3 hours late today.....totally not worth it....I know it might sound good now but you have made it to 4 days!!!! Oh and if hitting the tree might help.....go for it!!!

Gilmer

If we can do it, you can do it. You're not alone!

mecanix

I hear you ,
I remember being so frustrated , i just curled up and was crying in misery , anger also flared up out of nowhere . The only thing that kept me with it was the thought of having to go through it all again if i caved in .
If i stayed sober i'd be miserable with the chance of a changing my mood tommorow or next week , if i drank i'd only have to go through it all again .

Bestwishes, M

least

It is normal in very early sobriety to have your emotions all over the map. It will get better tho, the longer you are sober. If coming here is the only thing between you and a drink, then come here often!

Mirage74

I

Coldfusion

Hi Mirage,

Hope things are going okay for you.

FellOnNewDays

Mirage, this is my Day 1 after several attempts. Its great to see that having a support group, even online, is helping you. I hope it helps me too.

I don't want to go to AA either. I'm new to this area and don't want people to associate me with that. I didn't want to go to AA in my other community either.

FeenixxRising

Hang in there. The cravings are uncomfortable but not insurmountable. Take a long walk if you can, or take a nap, or make something to eat. Anything to take your mind off of drinking. And think forward to tonight when you go to sleep; you will be proud of yourself.

Murdock80

This! Think about how good it will feel when you rest your head on the pillow and reaalize that you've overcome your addiction for the day. That, my friend, is the best feeling of my (very) new found sobriety.

Mirage74

Thanks for the support everyone. After posting all this and reading the replies, I actually feel a lot better. I know Im not out of the woods, and at any time another craving will probably come rushing over me, but right now, I actually feel pretty good.

And Feenix and Murdoch, that thought of going to bed sober tonight helps, and even better yet, the thought of waking up tomorrow morning without a brutal hangover!

soberclover

I'm somewhat in the same space so I logged on. I know that I do not want to wake up sick tomorrow if I drink. I know things will get messy fast if I drink as I'm not about happy endings. I know it isn't about the amount of time that I have but I don't want to go through day 1 again. I know cravings don't last forever. I know my triggers and just need to avoid them tonight. I know you can do this too!

Mirage74

Another thing that is making today especially hard is that the NCAA basketball tournament started today (I'm a sports fan). I would love to be perched up at a bar somewhere in front of a big screen TV, drinking ice cold beers and watching the games. NO, I can't think about it, I'm torturing myself.

I think I read somebody said "play the tape" all the way through. I always stop at the good part. Let's see, after the bar, I have to drive home intoxicated, probably spend a lot of money at the bar, probalby stop on the way home and buy more, drink more at home, wake up tomorrow morning banging my head against the wall - that I did it again.

Ok, got it out there, got it off my chest. Feel better...

Dee74

Glad you're feeling better mirage74 - SR helped me through a few tight spots too

Welcome aboard rhpudgey

D

bigsombrero

I hear you about the NCAA Tournament. I remember sitting down and watching my first NFL game last fall without a drink in my hand...felt weird! Eventually I warmed up to the idea. You'll enjoy the NCAA's just as much as before - watching a buzzer beater is actually much more fun sober than drunk!