TryingHarder

I'm usually pretty quiet, but I have some things I'd like to say. These are my truths, but I'm betting they are, in fact, true for most everyone early in recovery.

1) I can't imagine my life without ~insert your drug of choice here~. Mine is alcohol. I've tried moderation a hundred times. I've tried stopping several times. But in past efforts to stop, I couldn't get the future out of my head. The "I can't imagine next week, next month, this weekend, that wedding, etc. without drinking." Guess what! If I'm going to be successful at this, I cannot, absolutely cannot worry about that. I can only deal with today. Sometimes with this hour or this minute. Today I will not drink. Tomorrow will be dealt with tomorrow. Coming to terms with that is huge for me.

2) This is hard. You bet it's hard. It's a war and if you plan to fight in this war, then be prepared. Read. Eat. Rest. Exercise. Go to meetings. Read these threads. Find your support system and use it. Because there is NO magic bullet. If there were, by God, we would have bought it.

3) I'm tired of feeling ~insert current emotion~. So what! Sober people have emotions. They feel sad, angry, lonely, happy. I have to learn to deal with the ones that are hard for me. They help me grow. I learn to cope without my former buddy, Mr. Alcohol.

That's about it. In summary, I can only deal with today. It is hard. And I must feel my emotions. But in spite of all that, this is a great thing and I'm feeling better every day... and only 12 days in.

Stay sober and find your peace friends.

Richierich777

Good for you. 12 days is better than none. I was a beer drinker but I would rather wake up feeling good than bad. Anyway good luck

Hevyn

Very good stuff, TryingHarder. Thanks for a helpful post. As you said, in spite of the challenges - this is a great thing and it will keep getting better. Congratulations on your 12 hard-earned days. You're really doing this thing.

julez

Rock on

deeker

Thanks for the THREAD.


1) I can't imagine my life without - used to be alcohol and pills, now it's cookies and ice cream. My new addiction. Really gets me down sometimes. It reminds me of my addiction to the other stuff. each day I say I am not gonna do it and then I cave.. But for the grace of God I am clean and sober.

2) This is hard- Yah this is hard but my little food addiction is no where near as destructive as my alcoholism and drug addiction. I found a solution to my alcoholism and drug addiciton. Now I need to apply that to my eating. All in good time I suppose. Still my 1st year of recovery.


3) I'm tired of feeling -(Fat) Couldn't find a fat emoticon. OverEating makes me feel fat and then my disease tells me I have to avoid different people and places and even my AA/NA meetings. I definitely have a lot of negative self talk somedays. I liken it to the devil. Always telling me I am not worthy to be happy, or I'll never measure up.

I continually have to remind myself I am a beloved child of God.

AcceptingChange

I agree. It's hard. And we have to plan to fight.
The jungle has predators. Predators seek prey. Alcohol is my predator.
It doesn't care if i feel happy. I have to move past "happy" & "sad" as my motivator for making decisions. I'm moving past decisions based on childish feelings, and focus on the battle. Expecting sobriety to give the same temporary feel-good glow that drinking did is delusional. Sobriety is a different world, and we need to prepare for it.

forabetterlife

I agree, Tryingharder, it is hard, but it does seem to get easier with time. I, too, cannot imagine life without alcohol EVER, but I know that I will not drink today, and I can worry about tomorrow when it gets here.

quitforme79

Awesome post And yup, I can totally relate. I felt that way too...I really struggled with projecting but living 1 day at a time gets easier with practice. I don't know if i will ever practice it perfectly but progress right?

janiebluebird

TH- Focusing on today is truly empowering. We really only ever have the now so its useless for us to get lost in the anxiety of tomorrow or the memories of the past. I am working on getting out of my own head and being more mindful. As Byron Katie says, thoughts lie.

Deeker - I was just listening to a speaker on the topic of recovery and he said that alcoholism and sugar addiction are cross linked... something along those lines. I definitely jumped on the sugar bandwagon myself! I am such an ice cream addict. Luckily I also love to work out...naturalendorphins are great. I want to get off sugar myself, it can really affect our moods and energy levels. My plan is to start a 30 day challenge of no starchy carbs and no sugar. I think I'm going to start tomorrow.

TryingHarder

Thanks for sharing your experiences everyone. We are doing this!! But it sure isn't something that just magically happens. It's hard work, and worth everything to me.

awuh1

The emotional roller coaster does tend to level off with time but you’re right, it is often very difficult in the beginning. Know that in the long run it’s well worth it!

Fallow

Haha

You got that right! Love your post thanks. I needed to read that today. I have had a very stressful week so far. Wont go into all the details but it is all about the next few weeks and my wife's plans.

I got family coming to town and hows all that gonna work?! I got drama in AA going on and drama at home. Medical issues you name it. Work is so busy I do not get 2 seconds to think.

Most of the time these days (day 101-102) I am not thinking a day at a time. I think I will be sober permanently. That does not bother me most of the time.

But today when I walked out of work I thought to myself 'just get thru tonight and worry about tomorrow, tomorrow'. Not that I even wanted to drink, I was just feeling the stress.

Life started moving faster since I have been sober. It is easy to forget what the old days were like.

It is a battle. A battle I will win even if it is 1 second at a time.

Nonsensical

Marine Corps Drill Instructor?

Good stuff, stay hungry!

artsoul

Those are some really good insights for just day 12! It definitely takes work and a lot of focus in the early days... I had to make sobriety my #1 priority (with everything else WAY down on the list).

You're doing great.... just keep taking it a day at a time and be patient with yourself. It really does get easier....

Zebra1275

Welcome to SR!

You may have only 12 days in, but I bet you've learned a lot since you've joined this sight.

You've only been around here a couple of weeks and you have 78 posts, now that's getting involved!

Are doing any face to face stuff? For me, the combination of SR and AA has helped me stay sober.

Sillyboy

"I can only deal with today. It is hard"...

O My...It is hard...

TryingHarder

Hahaha! There are those at work who might just say that about me.

Actually, I haven't hit a meeting yet, but I'm seriously considering it. I do have plans for this weekend with sober friends. Weekends can be triggery for me. Thanks to all of you for your support. It's vital.

mecanix

1) As i got used to life without my DOC , life without my DOC seemed more possible longer term .

2) It is difficult but it gets easier, once walking or talking was difficult, i masterd those incredibly difficult things and do them now without actively thinking about them .

3) Alcohol is a depressant after 6 months a mild depression i did'nt know i had dissapeared . Up's and down's still happen, as you say but i believe my base line of happiness and contentment is higher .

Today is only day 565 so these things i experience might only be temporary, i'm happy to take life on the terms it presents me each day , everything is temporary including me so i try to enjoy the up's and the down's

Bestwishes, M