last May
 

When I started up my kindle and got onto SR today, my old User name was logged into the site. I looked through the posts. Its the same old cries for help ; the same desperate approach and wallowing to get sober and remain sober. I read through all the helpful replies, the words of compassion......what I really read in those posts is stagnation. What I really read was a woman struggling for support and needing it from every end of the earth to succeed on her mission. What I see at this moment: I have not changed at all. I kept running back to the bottle even though I knew that something drastic was going to take place. What is most impressive to me though, is the relentless effort I have made over the years to stay away from alcohol. I'm impressed that I keep trying and trying and trying and trying. How damn impressive. My name is Patricia and I will forever be an Alcoholic. I will never give up this fight. This time something registered.

That's good, Patricia! As long you keep trying and never give up, you'll get there. I'm glad you're giving yourself credit for your determination to make this work. You're not the same person you were last year when you wrote those posts, and I hope that this time will be the time you make recovery work for you. :)

As Anna said, you will get there if you don't give up.

Don't ever give up. Ever. ever, ever.

Ever.

:rotate:

Hi Patricia. I also tried so many times - but here I am at 5+ yrs. sober after drinking for 30. I'm impressed that you kept trying, too - you should be proud of never giving up. This time will be different - you're going to do it.

I tried for 15 years - I got there :)
you will too Patricia :)

D

I tried for probably 10 - 15 years and I've just made 11 days. It already feels really good.
Don't give up. You can find it.

This is my 4th serious try - the first three were pretty successful, but I thought after a long break I could maintain some form of control. This time I have realized, I can never drink another drop of alcohol again.

Patricia, I know how you feel. There's no easy answers. I feel so beat down right now, the last three months have been crap, but when I lay down at night and I'm tired, there is a peace (through all the anxiety and self doubt) and comfort that I will wake up tomorrow sober.

You have done it and can still do it, it clicked for me this time, I think it has for you as well.

Toss