What do you do for fun without drinking - a thought experiment
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: US
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Originally Posted by snowbunting 
That is so awesome. I hope I can resemble my ten year old self *very* soon! This thought has made me very happy, thanks!
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NZ
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Great post. Can't wait to read more. Will try to answer it soon but it's morning here and I have the school run ! ( incidently , not late anymore due to me hitting the snooze button too many times ) and - kids having watermelon and toasted brioche for brekky instead of helping themselves to cornflakes ! X
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Join Date: Feb 2013
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Originally Posted by snowbunting
I don't know what to suggest for you as I'm really new to this myself. I'm hoping to spend a lot of time on here whenever I have the urge, until I can think of something else to do. Could you try just treating yourself to whatever self-indulgent thing you might want, except alcohol? I think I could *just about* convince myself not to drink if I watched two or three favourite childhood films in a row while stuffing my face with sweets, strawberries, and sparkling grape juice. That can't go on forever (or can it?) but for these really hard first few weeks it might be worth trying. Whatever works for you, no matter how self-indulgent or embarrassing (like watching old episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer would be for me) is still a million times better than drinking.
I'm happy to say that after a few weeks, when my energy started returning, I stopped being so lazy. I'm only at 35 days so I'm still pretty lazy, mind you (unemployment doesn't help), but no longer feel the urge to be horizontal and stuffing sweets into my face.
To your questions...
At 10: Reading, spending time with my friends, playing in the woods, riding my bike, having elaborate crushes on boys I was afraid to talk to, writing poetry and short stories, hiking with my dad, going on drives with my mom, dance class, swimming, drawing and painting
At 20: Other drugs! ha... but also reading, writing, drawing, painting, having complicated relationships with boys I was still kind of afraid of, going to concerts and festivals, dancing, photography, traveling, learning new languages, playing card games, running around outside, swimming, roller blading, going on long drives
At 29, two months ago: Bike riding, the gym, museums, traveling, hiking, but hungover, for the most part. And a slew of things with drink in hand. Parties, game nights, art openings, drawing and painting, writing, lectures, cultural events, even bike rides, drunk.
At 29, now: Slowly pulling my sober life together. Yoga, bike riding, reading (books, not blogs! welcome back, attention span!), films, board games, going to the park.
In the future: All of it back, and more.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Gulf Coast, Florida USA
Posts: 5,731
[QUOTE=snowbunting;3871397]Sorry if I misread the post. Sobriety can make me irritable sometimes!
I/QUOTE]
Snow, I think he was just being funny about the 10 yr old comment, cuz I thought it was funny, but as far as saying , I do whatever I want, To me that meant that he found freedom from alcoholism and can now do whatever he puts his mind too with alcohol not holding him back. You know what I mean? Right Tomsteve? And that is what you will be able to do too one day. Best Wishes!
By the way it was a fantastic thread u started!
I am not having as much fun as a 10 yr old but I sure hope to lose weight and get active and just have the joy of a child. I am happy most days, but not as active as I would like. Need motivation. Alcohol is not holding me back but my ISM is.
I/QUOTE]
Snow, I think he was just being funny about the 10 yr old comment, cuz I thought it was funny, but as far as saying , I do whatever I want, To me that meant that he found freedom from alcoholism and can now do whatever he puts his mind too with alcohol not holding him back. You know what I mean? Right Tomsteve? And that is what you will be able to do too one day. Best Wishes!
By the way it was a fantastic thread u started!
I am not having as much fun as a 10 yr old but I sure hope to lose weight and get active and just have the joy of a child. I am happy most days, but not as active as I would like. Need motivation. Alcohol is not holding me back but my ISM is.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 5
I was just trying to plan our first sober vacation and was trying to remind myself of how to have fun without alcohol. It's easy when it involves my son, because there are lots of family friendly things that don't involve alcohol. however, my husband and I have ALWAYS centered every vacation around drinking (Sonoma, Napa, New Orleans, Las Vegas, etc). I was feeling really down about the fact that we'll have to find new ways to have fun together, but I know it will be good for our marriage. Here's the list of things that I'm hoping to focus on for fun now that we're not drinking:
Visiting museums, hiking, hanging out in bookstores, visiting botanical gardens or parks, listening to live music (might have to avoid clubs for a while, though), watching movies, eating great food (and now we can eat TWO desserts since we won't be consuming 3500 calories worth of alcohol at dinner!), and sitting on the front porch enjoying nice weather and talking.
Maybe life won' be so miserable without alcohol after all, but I'm going to have to focus on the positive things.
Visiting museums, hiking, hanging out in bookstores, visiting botanical gardens or parks, listening to live music (might have to avoid clubs for a while, though), watching movies, eating great food (and now we can eat TWO desserts since we won't be consuming 3500 calories worth of alcohol at dinner!), and sitting on the front porch enjoying nice weather and talking.
Maybe life won' be so miserable without alcohol after all, but I'm going to have to focus on the positive things.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Scotland
Posts: 379
Originally Posted by fantail
I think that's the right idea. I got through my first two weeks by watching every episode of Twin Peaks, every episode of United States of Tara, two seasons of The Walking Dead, one season of The Killing, a string of movies from the 90s, downloading The Sims and playing that like crazy, and reading every single post on all my favorite blogs. Oh, and tons and tons of chocolates, caramel, kettle corn, pizza, etc etc. My rule was "anything but not alcohol."
I'm happy to say that after a few weeks, when my energy started returning, I stopped being so lazy. I'm only at 35 days so I'm still pretty lazy, mind you (unemployment doesn't help), but no longer feel the urge to be horizontal and stuffing sweets into my face.
I'm happy to say that after a few weeks, when my energy started returning, I stopped being so lazy. I'm only at 35 days so I'm still pretty lazy, mind you (unemployment doesn't help), but no longer feel the urge to be horizontal and stuffing sweets into my face.
Originally Posted by fantail
To your questions...
At 10: Reading, spending time with my friends, playing in the woods, riding my bike, having elaborate crushes on boys I was afraid to talk to, writing poetry and short stories, hiking with my dad, going on drives with my mom, dance class, swimming, drawing and painting
At 20: Other drugs! ha... but also reading, writing, drawing, painting, having complicated relationships with boys I was still kind of afraid of, going to concerts and festivals, dancing, photography, traveling, learning new languages, playing card games, running around outside, swimming, roller blading, going on long drives
At 29, two months ago: Bike riding, the gym, museums, traveling, hiking, but hungover, for the most part. And a slew of things with drink in hand. Parties, game nights, art openings, drawing and painting, writing, lectures, cultural events, even bike rides, drunk.
At 29, now: Slowly pulling my sober life together. Yoga, bike riding, reading (books, not blogs! welcome back, attention span!), films, board games, going to the park.
In the future: All of it back, and more.
At 10: Reading, spending time with my friends, playing in the woods, riding my bike, having elaborate crushes on boys I was afraid to talk to, writing poetry and short stories, hiking with my dad, going on drives with my mom, dance class, swimming, drawing and painting
At 20: Other drugs! ha... but also reading, writing, drawing, painting, having complicated relationships with boys I was still kind of afraid of, going to concerts and festivals, dancing, photography, traveling, learning new languages, playing card games, running around outside, swimming, roller blading, going on long drives
At 29, two months ago: Bike riding, the gym, museums, traveling, hiking, but hungover, for the most part. And a slew of things with drink in hand. Parties, game nights, art openings, drawing and painting, writing, lectures, cultural events, even bike rides, drunk.
At 29, now: Slowly pulling my sober life together. Yoga, bike riding, reading (books, not blogs! welcome back, attention span!), films, board games, going to the park.
In the future: All of it back, and more.
I'd like to take up yoga. And the books thing - yes! For someone who spent ten years studying literature and did her PhD on some really difficult books, it's shameful that in the last year the only time I'd read a book is three or four pages, drunk, to have something to look at whenever I went outside for a cigarette. Literature had been my biggest love since I was a kid and in the end I just betrayed it for cheap wine. I can't wait to start reading properly again.
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Snowbunting, these are fascinating questions. I can assure you that you mistook Tomsteve's intentions: he's truly a great guy, and has been a great encouragement to me. He also has a unique gift for cutting through the crap! And that is a very real and very great gift. So often we alcoholics are full of crap. I really do think he was joking and not intending to belittle your questions.
When I was 10, my idea of fun w/o alcohol was building secret forts, doing skits, saving up for odd, cool stuff, creative writing, playing with my dog.
When I was 17, my idea of fun without alcohol was reading literature and history, playing guitar and singing, doing geometry, riding my bike, doing archery, and acting in school musicals.
Now that I am 53, my idea of fun without alcohol is stringing more than two thoughts together at a time, hanging out with my husband and family, finishing up my bachelors degree online after many years, praying, worshiping, studying the Bible, meeting with other people. (I graduate in August and hope to start grad school in the fall).
When I was 10, my idea of fun w/o alcohol was building secret forts, doing skits, saving up for odd, cool stuff, creative writing, playing with my dog.
When I was 17, my idea of fun without alcohol was reading literature and history, playing guitar and singing, doing geometry, riding my bike, doing archery, and acting in school musicals.
Now that I am 53, my idea of fun without alcohol is stringing more than two thoughts together at a time, hanging out with my husband and family, finishing up my bachelors degree online after many years, praying, worshiping, studying the Bible, meeting with other people. (I graduate in August and hope to start grad school in the fall).
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Liverpool, England
Posts: 681
Originally Posted by snowbunting
Congratulations I'd like to take up yoga. And the books thing - yes! For someone who spent ten years studying literature and did her PhD on some really difficult books, it's shameful that in the last year the only time I'd read a book is three or four pages, drunk, to have something to look at whenever I went outside for a cigarette. Literature had been my biggest love since I was a kid and in the end I just betrayed it for cheap wine. I can't wait to start reading properly again.
I'd like to take up yoga. And the books thing - yes! For someone who spent ten years studying literature and did her PhD on some really difficult books, it's shameful that in the last year the only time I'd read a book is three or four pages, drunk, to have something to look at whenever I went outside for a cigarette. Literature had been my biggest love since I was a kid and in the end I just betrayed it for cheap wine. I can't wait to start reading properly again.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 539
I loved that post snowbunting. And it is very sad too. That is EXACTLY how it went for me. I was (as most of us were) such a creative,imaginative,hopeful little thing at 10 years old. I never wouldve dreamt of what would happen to me. (especially since my whole life I was warned that my Grandpas alcoholism would make it more likely Id have the disease.)
But I succumbed to it. And I literally lost years of my life to the sh**.
Youre only five days so dont worry about being irritable(even though I took that one reply as being quite harsh myself) You shouldve seen ME on here when I was first quit. Holy crap! I was snippy and sassy and defensive and ANGRY. So give yourself a break for sure!
Anyway. Now we get to start over. And now we can do all the things our 10 year old selves wanted to do.
Isnt that so sad how alcohol affects almost every single aspect of our lives? Ugh. I mean your post just really hit home. That part where youre listing your 28 year old self? It was all so true. Im also 28 too by the way. And yup by the time Im 30 I will be 2 years sober and having the time of my life, living life the way it is supposed to lived. Not tied down, hungover in a darkened house.
Yay for you for quitting!
And I hardly believed it when I was at your stage(the hardest) but its gonna get easier from here on out, and YES, you will stop thinking about alcohol constantly!
But I succumbed to it. And I literally lost years of my life to the sh**.
Youre only five days so dont worry about being irritable(even though I took that one reply as being quite harsh myself) You shouldve seen ME on here when I was first quit. Holy crap! I was snippy and sassy and defensive and ANGRY. So give yourself a break for sure!
Anyway. Now we get to start over. And now we can do all the things our 10 year old selves wanted to do.
Isnt that so sad how alcohol affects almost every single aspect of our lives? Ugh. I mean your post just really hit home. That part where youre listing your 28 year old self? It was all so true. Im also 28 too by the way. And yup by the time Im 30 I will be 2 years sober and having the time of my life, living life the way it is supposed to lived. Not tied down, hungover in a darkened house.
Yay for you for quitting!
And I hardly believed it when I was at your stage(the hardest) but its gonna get easier from here on out, and YES, you will stop thinking about alcohol constantly!
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 93
Wow I love this post as I was just thinking about "this weekend is going to suck b/c I won't be drinking" Today is my day 1 (my fourth day 1 this month by the way) How pathetic is this....we are taking our son to Chuckie Cheese tonight and all I can think is "man I wish I could have a couple beers before we go" Ugh I hate this disease. I feel like a horrible mom and a monster. Alcohol has played such a big part of my life that I need to re-work the way I think. I have 2 young kids that keep me busy so I am going to try and put all my time and energy into them and not leave any room for alcohol!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Scotland
Posts: 379
Originally Posted by ArcticSA
I loved that post snowbunting. And it is very sad too. That is EXACTLY how it went for me. I was (as most of us were) such a creative,imaginative,hopeful little thing at 10 years old. I never wouldve dreamt of what would happen to me. (especially since my whole life I was warned that my Grandpas alcoholism would make it more likely Id have the disease.)
But I succumbed to it. And I literally lost years of my life to the sh**.
Youre only five days so dont worry about being irritable(even though I took that one reply as being quite harsh myself) You shouldve seen ME on here when I was first quit. Holy crap! I was snippy and sassy and defensive and ANGRY. So give yourself a break for sure!
Anyway. Now we get to start over. And now we can do all the things our 10 year old selves wanted to do.
Isnt that so sad how alcohol affects almost every single aspect of our lives? Ugh. I mean your post just really hit home. That part where youre listing your 28 year old self? It was all so true. Im also 28 too by the way. And yup by the time Im 30 I will be 2 years sober and having the time of my life, living life the way it is supposed to lived. Not tied down, hungover in a darkened house.
Yay for you for quitting!
And I hardly believed it when I was at your stage(the hardest) but its gonna get easier from here on out, and YES, you will stop thinking about alcohol constantly!
But I succumbed to it. And I literally lost years of my life to the sh**.
Youre only five days so dont worry about being irritable(even though I took that one reply as being quite harsh myself) You shouldve seen ME on here when I was first quit. Holy crap! I was snippy and sassy and defensive and ANGRY. So give yourself a break for sure!
Anyway. Now we get to start over. And now we can do all the things our 10 year old selves wanted to do.
Isnt that so sad how alcohol affects almost every single aspect of our lives? Ugh. I mean your post just really hit home. That part where youre listing your 28 year old self? It was all so true. Im also 28 too by the way. And yup by the time Im 30 I will be 2 years sober and having the time of my life, living life the way it is supposed to lived. Not tied down, hungover in a darkened house.
Yay for you for quitting!
And I hardly believed it when I was at your stage(the hardest) but its gonna get easier from here on out, and YES, you will stop thinking about alcohol constantly!
How long have you been sober, may I ask? Congratulations on quitting!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Scotland
Posts: 379
I thought I'd do an update on this thread, as I'm now on Day 50 of my newfound sobriety. It's also Day 50 of being a non-smoker
What I do for fun now that I'm sober
I love exploring the countryside, and I've climbed two mountains since quitting. Both were amazing and beautiful, and even though I wasn't trying to go super fast, I climbed them in an hour under the average time. I've gotten quite fit, and am getting fitter all the time. The view from each summit was a better feeling that alcohol ever was.
I go to the cinema, just to see a random indie or foreign film that happens to be on. If my husband's busy, I go alone, and I love it: I get really engrossed in the detail, and it feels exciting to be cut off from the outside world, just me and the film and the darkness of the theatre, for a couple of hours.
I eat tons of fruit and have been experimenting with really healthy, delicious food, and love to cook new things and try different fruits and juices. They give me a lovely natural energy. If I get stressed out, I turn to them and focus on the flavour and the sensation.
I've been walking everywhere and getting to know the city I live in really well. Sometimes I'll walk home from work, do a couple of diversions by the river, and realise when I get home that just walked six miles! I find it hugely enjoyable to walk around, observing everything, and watching the behaviour of birds and animals.
I've been swimming with my husband at a fun pool, where we laugh and go down the slides like a pair of kids
Keeping with the behaving-like-a-kid theme, I've been practising gymnastics in my garden, something I haven't done for about ten years!
I've been reading and getting back into literature again, something I really missed as the drinking took over as my main activity. It is wonderful to have so much time back to myself to read. At first, I was scared of how I would fill all that time that I used to spend drinking - I was afraid of boredom, and empty hours. Now, I feel like there aren't enough hours in the day to do all the things I want to do!
Also, we've decided to try for a baby. It is the right time, and I'm happier than I've ever been in my life (will, since I was a kid at least). We are moving to a house in the countryside in a week's time, so we're busy packing too.
I went for a check-up at the doctor as part of our pre-conception plan, and here's what's happened to my body since quitting:
- my blood pressure is back to normal (before it was always high)
- I have lost a stone (14 lbs) and my BMI is a healthy 21
- my bloods were normal, with normal kidney and liver function
Quitting has made an amazing difference to my life. My relationship with my husband is a hundred times better, and so is my relationship with myself. I'm calmer, happier, able to take pleasure in simple things, no longer afraid of being alone. I no longer swear at myself and beat myself up for behaving terribly the previous evening, or the last time we had company. Sometimes I get flashes of remorse, but then I remember that it's okay, that was months ago, you're not that person anymore, and I can step back and forgive myself.
I hope everyone here is doing well
What I do for fun now that I'm sober
I love exploring the countryside, and I've climbed two mountains since quitting. Both were amazing and beautiful, and even though I wasn't trying to go super fast, I climbed them in an hour under the average time. I've gotten quite fit, and am getting fitter all the time. The view from each summit was a better feeling that alcohol ever was.
I go to the cinema, just to see a random indie or foreign film that happens to be on. If my husband's busy, I go alone, and I love it: I get really engrossed in the detail, and it feels exciting to be cut off from the outside world, just me and the film and the darkness of the theatre, for a couple of hours.
I eat tons of fruit and have been experimenting with really healthy, delicious food, and love to cook new things and try different fruits and juices. They give me a lovely natural energy. If I get stressed out, I turn to them and focus on the flavour and the sensation.
I've been walking everywhere and getting to know the city I live in really well. Sometimes I'll walk home from work, do a couple of diversions by the river, and realise when I get home that just walked six miles! I find it hugely enjoyable to walk around, observing everything, and watching the behaviour of birds and animals.
I've been swimming with my husband at a fun pool, where we laugh and go down the slides like a pair of kids
Keeping with the behaving-like-a-kid theme, I've been practising gymnastics in my garden, something I haven't done for about ten years!
I've been reading and getting back into literature again, something I really missed as the drinking took over as my main activity. It is wonderful to have so much time back to myself to read. At first, I was scared of how I would fill all that time that I used to spend drinking - I was afraid of boredom, and empty hours. Now, I feel like there aren't enough hours in the day to do all the things I want to do!
Also, we've decided to try for a baby. It is the right time, and I'm happier than I've ever been in my life (will, since I was a kid at least). We are moving to a house in the countryside in a week's time, so we're busy packing too.
I went for a check-up at the doctor as part of our pre-conception plan, and here's what's happened to my body since quitting:
- my blood pressure is back to normal (before it was always high)
- I have lost a stone (14 lbs) and my BMI is a healthy 21
- my bloods were normal, with normal kidney and liver function
Quitting has made an amazing difference to my life. My relationship with my husband is a hundred times better, and so is my relationship with myself. I'm calmer, happier, able to take pleasure in simple things, no longer afraid of being alone. I no longer swear at myself and beat myself up for behaving terribly the previous evening, or the last time we had company. Sometimes I get flashes of remorse, but then I remember that it's okay, that was months ago, you're not that person anymore, and I can step back and forgive myself.
I hope everyone here is doing well
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Join Date: Apr 2013
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10 year old self; reading,horse riding, walking,swimming,hanging with animals,dancing,singing, flute,building huts in the bush,trampolining ��
16 year old self;movies,talking on the phone,reading, walks....just found ciggies and drinking....
Now- drinking wine by myself while listening to music and talking crap.thats all I wanted to do for so so so long now
In the future;running,playing music,singing,riding,hanging with animals,movies,walks,live bands,summer festivals,beaches and swimming,time with family....so many opportunities!
Thanks for this post.im struggling with the idea of not drinking forever tonight.really have the craving to just go go go and get the wine.almost feels desperate! This helps remind me the future I stand to lose x ( 14 days today!)
16 year old self;movies,talking on the phone,reading, walks....just found ciggies and drinking....
Now- drinking wine by myself while listening to music and talking crap.thats all I wanted to do for so so so long now
In the future;running,playing music,singing,riding,hanging with animals,movies,walks,live bands,summer festivals,beaches and swimming,time with family....so many opportunities!
Thanks for this post.im struggling with the idea of not drinking forever tonight.really have the craving to just go go go and get the wine.almost feels desperate! This helps remind me the future I stand to lose x ( 14 days today!)
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