least

But she said he'd been sober for two years, that's not early days at all. I agree he may have some control issues if he's asking you to stop drinking to support his two-years-of-sobriety. By now he should be used to people drinking around him.

Bigndfan175

We don't know if he has control issues, I think the righteous thing to do is to support him in his sobriety and honor that ask. It's his recovery not yours a little more empathy may be in order

sugarbear1

What is different two years in to his sobriety??

TheEnd

[QUOTE=flujays;3870713]I agree with LexieCat, you seem quite upset about the thought of not drinking. I know the thought terrifies me... but then... i'm an alcoholic. Although that doesn't mean you are an alcoholic, it is an unusual reaction from a mere social drinker asked to support her sober alcoholic husband. [QUOTE]

I disagree with this. Just because someone, doesn't want to give up something doesn't mean that it's a problem. It means they enjoy it. I wouldn't want to give up carbs, it doesn't mean I'm addicted to them, but I rather enjoy them. If my partner suddenly became diabetic, I don't think I could just walk away from them. And after 2 years of sobriety, he should have a handle on this situation and it shouldn't even bother him. It sounds like he just resents the fact that you can drink and he can't.

daisy1

Your husband is two years in - has this come out of the blue? Could it be that he is having a wobbly time at the moment, and struggling a bit? After all, it is going to be a lifelong struggle after all. Maybe chat to him and ask where this has come from, he might tell you he is finding it hard at this moment in time. Maybe some sort of compromise can be reached.
It's a tricky one - as a single newly-recovering alcoholic I'm wondering just what kind of partner I will ever be able to find. Sounds like you are really supportive - it's a tough journey for both of you, I hope you both end up with a happy solution xxx

MeSoSober

THIS, X about a hundred. And as others have suggested, why is he only now insisting that you stop -- two years after he got sober?

Sounds to me like there's something else going on here.

ReadyAtLast

i also agree.If he was newly sober I would understand more but it sounds a control issue

LDT

I'm definitely not trying to be "preachy" when I say that probably the most loving thing my husband ever did for me when I first got sober was quit drinking himself....at least he quit drinking around me, only to maybe have an occasional " beer with the guys" . He also didn't have a " problem" with alcohol, but because he recognized that I did, he stopped. These days It doesn't bother me if he has a rare beer in front of me..... But because he has seen and felt the advantages of sobriety, most days he will just choose a diet coke...like me!

Hanna

Hi GAPeach,


You might also want to post this discussion on the friends and family board.

Peace,
Hanna

SavingSelf

I'm recovering--almost 5 months in now. I am lucky in that my partner (a female, we've been together 12 1/2 years and have one child together) rarely if ever drank. Now that I am working on sobriety (something she pushed for for years), she has gladly given up drinking at all with me. Then again, she was someone who rarely drank anyway--and if she did would actually stop drinking if she felt slightly tipsy (as in 1/2 a glass of wine through)--I could never imagine doing that and would gladly finish any of her drinks back in the day.

Anyway, so yes, she has given it up for me. But it really was never part of her regular routine. (Although there is a part of her I think that would still like to have a glass of wine out with dinner occasionally--maybe a few times a year.)

At some point I may suggest to her that I'm far enough past it and it is ok for her to drink around me. But, I don't think I am there yet.

It sounds like you have been supportive thus far with your husband (the trip without alcohol is a huge thing!, as was how you handled the party). But definitely it sounds like it is bothering him and perhaps more discussion needs to happen.

I think it is reasonable for you to perhaps not drink around him but be able to have drinks when out with your friends.

As an alcoholic newly sober, at times I am a bit jealous when I see others drinking around me. But I'm usually not triggered by social drinking. It always amazes me when people switch to coffee after 1 or 2 glasses of wine. What is more challenging to me is seeing others that I know have an alcohol issue and are drinking a bit "harder". Because if I'm truly honest, that is how I wanted to drink.

Not sure if any of that rambling helped. Take Care!