POSITIVE emotions as a trigger?
POSITIVE emotions as a trigger?
I seem to be far less likely to drink out of stress, sadness, anger, etc., than out of happy emotions. I think part of it is that for me an elevated mood equals lowered inhibitions, but there's also this admittedly nonsensical feeling of "wasting" a good mood by not making it even better with alcohol.
Anyone else? Just curious.
Anyone else? Just curious.
I seem to be far less likely to drink out of stress, sadness, anger, etc., than out of happy emotions. I think part of it is that for me an elevated mood equals lowered inhibitions, but there's also this admittedly nonsensical feeling of "wasting" a good mood by not making it even better with alcohol.
Anyone else? Just curious.
Anyone else? Just curious.
Of course, the problem is it's never a few beers, it's 9, 10, 12 or more. And I then end up stinking drunk, or black out or simply pass out. So when I have those thoughts I try very hard to think it through to the inevitable conclusion of deciding to have a few beers. I try to see in my mind where "a few beers" will take me. And where they will take me is to an ugly, unhappy place.
So, now I'll try to just enjoy the good mood without any alcohol or other mood altering substance.
I echo the above posts. Any strong emotion seems to raise anxiety in me. Booze used to SEEM to knock it down to manageable proportions. But it didn't shrink it, it just numbed me to it.
I don't want to be a zombie...I'm learning to dance with life rather than eat my own brain.
I don't want to be a zombie...I'm learning to dance with life rather than eat my own brain.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Prairie Village, KS
Posts: 264
Oh absolutely. Euphoria used to be a real trigger for me. It still is. An old timer at one of my AA meetings always tell me "don't get too high and don't get too low." So I try to keep myself balanced which isn't always easy.
I definitely know where you are coming from.
I definitely know where you are coming from.
I was trying to quit for my first 1 1/2 going to AA meeting but never fully working the steps. And now that I have some sober time I can look back and now why.But I kept drinking after a month or two during this time.. And every single time it was not from bad feelings..
It always was from feeling great and good. I kept getting to well to fast and not letting my self fully surrender to the fact I just cant drink like a normal person in any aspect.
I still kept thinking that it could be different, that just one night of "fun" could be had..
I just kept trying and trying to finally, I didnt want to try anymore.. And I accepted the fact that I just want to give myself a chance at sobriety.. I was 40 years old and never sober in my adult life.. So it began..
For me the AA program works and is just a great way of life.. But I still only can take it one day at a time.. I cant think about not drinking forever or anything like that.. I don't know what tomorrow will bring..
But I know I am sober and won't drink today..
It always was from feeling great and good. I kept getting to well to fast and not letting my self fully surrender to the fact I just cant drink like a normal person in any aspect.
I still kept thinking that it could be different, that just one night of "fun" could be had..
I just kept trying and trying to finally, I didnt want to try anymore.. And I accepted the fact that I just want to give myself a chance at sobriety.. I was 40 years old and never sober in my adult life.. So it began..
For me the AA program works and is just a great way of life.. But I still only can take it one day at a time.. I cant think about not drinking forever or anything like that.. I don't know what tomorrow will bring..
But I know I am sober and won't drink today..
I hear u...this disease lies to us that to make it worthwhile, its best to pour a drink on it...uhhh LIE! the fact that u posted the question & r hesitant bout it says that deep in u're heart, conviction is all over u that its a BAD decision...if u're sober, u'll remember what u did & be proud of u're self that u made a stand for u're self; but if u drink, u'll hate u're self for doing it then will have to go to a mtg & pick up a white chip not to mention u'll have to tell u're sponsor or network. DO THE NEXT RIGHT THING SO THEN NEXT RIGHT THING WILL HAPPEN. Look foward to u're update what happened
Thanks everyone!
1newcreation -- just to clarify, I asked my question purely out of curiosity and not because I was considering drinking. Nononononononono. It's just that you so often hear people say they started drinking out of anger, or anxiety, or God forbid, grief, or something else negative that I felt weird that those emotions, as a rule, do not trigger a desire to drink for me at all. It's more the opposite -- it's the unusually happy or contented moments that are most dangerous for me!
Fortunately, I'll have two weeks sober tomorrow and it's been pretty easy going -- so far. But I know that the worst thing I can do is get complacent, and that once I'm actually employed again and feeling more secure/happy, that the urges might get stronger and more frequent. This forum is helping me SO MUCH to stay vigilant! So thanks to you and to everyone for that.
1newcreation -- just to clarify, I asked my question purely out of curiosity and not because I was considering drinking. Nononononononono. It's just that you so often hear people say they started drinking out of anger, or anxiety, or God forbid, grief, or something else negative that I felt weird that those emotions, as a rule, do not trigger a desire to drink for me at all. It's more the opposite -- it's the unusually happy or contented moments that are most dangerous for me!
Fortunately, I'll have two weeks sober tomorrow and it's been pretty easy going -- so far. But I know that the worst thing I can do is get complacent, and that once I'm actually employed again and feeling more secure/happy, that the urges might get stronger and more frequent. This forum is helping me SO MUCH to stay vigilant! So thanks to you and to everyone for that.
Great question! My DOC is different but I do the same thing. I thought I was the only one, terminally unique, eh, that felt the need to use when I feel good. It's like I just don't know what to do with myself if I am feeling good or happy; I'm much more used to feeling anxious and depressed. So I actually needed to alter those happy feelings to a place that was more familiar to me. It does help to know I'm not the only one.
It's amazing to me that I can get used to being miserable and have that be my comfort zone. I guess it's just going to take practice to learn how to feel okay and comfortable in the times when I feel good. And then learn how to make more of the times when I feel good than when I feel bad. Sometimes happiness is so frightening to me, it's just not a place I've lived in for over 45 years. It'a a long, slow learning process.
It's amazing to me that I can get used to being miserable and have that be my comfort zone. I guess it's just going to take practice to learn how to feel okay and comfortable in the times when I feel good. And then learn how to make more of the times when I feel good than when I feel bad. Sometimes happiness is so frightening to me, it's just not a place I've lived in for over 45 years. It'a a long, slow learning process.
All is Change
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,281
Great question! My DOC is different but I do the same thing. I thought I was the only one, terminally unique, eh, that felt the need to use when I feel good. It's like I just don't know what to do with myself if I am feeling good or happy; I'm much more used to feeling anxious and depressed. So I actually needed to alter those happy feelings to a place that was more familiar to me. It does help to know I'm not the only one.
It's amazing to me that I can get used to being miserable and have that be my comfort zone. I guess it's just going to take practice to learn how to feel okay and comfortable in the times when I feel good. And then learn how to make more of the times when I feel good than when I feel bad. Sometimes happiness is so frightening to me, it's just not a place I've lived in for over 45 years. It'a a long, slow learning process.
It's amazing to me that I can get used to being miserable and have that be my comfort zone. I guess it's just going to take practice to learn how to feel okay and comfortable in the times when I feel good. And then learn how to make more of the times when I feel good than when I feel bad. Sometimes happiness is so frightening to me, it's just not a place I've lived in for over 45 years. It'a a long, slow learning process.
Thanks for posting this. This is something that's a roadblock to me that I don't understand the why of but recognise in myself. It does indeed help to know I'm not the only one. Participating on this forum and the ripples that seems to have in my 'real' life has brought this more starkly to my attention. I expect that in time I'll let go of my particular melancholic comfort zone. I'm not saying it makes alcohol an option, rather it is an area of myself, a big one it seems, bigger than I have been ready to admit, that needs attention.
Who ever knew that happiness could be so scary? I guess I just don't trust it yet, but someday. I'm hanging onto that, someday.
Hopefully we can get from to !
Definitely positive moods for me can be a trigger as well. Not that I have had one of those in a while! I don't mean to be an AA big book basher, as I don't attend any more. However, in the 'Big Book' there is a sentence that describes this perfectly...
'We drank to dream still greater dreams'
Essentially when feeling good about something, we drink to amplify that good mood even more.
I hope that I have finally learned that this does not work, and with drink my good mood becomes sour, and I quickly become dangerously angry. Perhaps the only way to avoid drinking when we feel confident, happy, successful etc, is to bring into our mind our last disastrous alcoholic mess with as much clarity as possible. I need to close my eyes and feel, taste, smell, see and touch the prison cell, the DT's, the hunger and the chaos. After a couple of minutes the urge 'to dream still greater dreams' recedes. And sanity returns.
'We drank to dream still greater dreams'
Essentially when feeling good about something, we drink to amplify that good mood even more.
I hope that I have finally learned that this does not work, and with drink my good mood becomes sour, and I quickly become dangerously angry. Perhaps the only way to avoid drinking when we feel confident, happy, successful etc, is to bring into our mind our last disastrous alcoholic mess with as much clarity as possible. I need to close my eyes and feel, taste, smell, see and touch the prison cell, the DT's, the hunger and the chaos. After a couple of minutes the urge 'to dream still greater dreams' recedes. And sanity returns.
All is Change
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,281
Yes. For some reason, happiness, at times, preasges a kind of morbidity. Even the possibility of happiness carries with it a sense that has fear in it.
At the moment I think it has to do with some deep loss of some sort at some time or an accumulation of such associated with moments of happiness thus giving arise to a sense of caution around happiness that can spiral to a hyper anxiousness about an imagined fall into grief as a result of moving towards happiness.
If so it seems like a solution waiting to happen.
At the moment I think it has to do with some deep loss of some sort at some time or an accumulation of such associated with moments of happiness thus giving arise to a sense of caution around happiness that can spiral to a hyper anxiousness about an imagined fall into grief as a result of moving towards happiness.
If so it seems like a solution waiting to happen.
I never drank because of loneliness or depression or any other negative emotion.
Yeah that was me. I also drank whenever I was in a good mood too.
Feeling happy? Let's get REALLY happy!
That was me - then I was REALLY sad the next day.
a trigger for me is rewarding myself for accomplishing something
Feeling happy? Let's get REALLY happy!
That was me - then I was REALLY sad the next day.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Ireland
Posts: 21
Feeling good can be a trigger for me too. Its like I feel good and just want to feel even better. And I forget of course all the misery that alcohol has caused me in the past. As someone said here, I must play to tape to the end the next time I feel that drink is an option.
That and stress are my triggers. At least I'm starting to recognise them now. Day 19 alcohol free for me and I am feeling much better. SR is an awesome resource !
That and stress are my triggers. At least I'm starting to recognise them now. Day 19 alcohol free for me and I am feeling much better. SR is an awesome resource !
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 206
I seem to be far less likely to drink out of stress, sadness, anger, etc., than out of happy emotions. I think part of it is that for me an elevated mood equals lowered inhibitions, but there's also this admittedly nonsensical feeling of "wasting" a good mood by not making it even better with alcohol.
Anyone else? Just curious.
Anyone else? Just curious.
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