Wedding this weekend - any advice appreciated
 

Hi all ,

I have a wedding this weekend. It will be the first one I don't end up on the lawn with my skirt over my head, or falling down the stairs and ruining my shoes. Any advice on how to be around all of my dear old friends, most of who will be drinking up a storm. Thanks x

Maybe don't make a big deal out of it and get yourself a long cool drink of something non-alcoholic. Even if they ask why you're not "drinking" they won't keep asking for long.

I'm a bridesmaid in 5 weeks terrified I'm going to ruining everything x

Think big picture. It's less than one day, and time flies when you're having fun. If you have remained sober all these days in a row what's one more? Think of how you'll feel if you don't drink vs. how you'll feel if you slip.

Remind yourself that if you stay straight no one will be gossiping about your behavior the next day. You won't call attention away from the bride. You won't do anything embarrassing. You'll remember the whole thing (!) Your shoes will survive to dance at the next wedding.

Bring a camera-gives you something to do and the pics make a great gift down the road. Buy yourself something pretty to wear instead of spending it on drinking. The item of clothing will remind you during the wedding of the positives of not drinking.

You can do this!!

Have your own transportation, so you can leave if things get too uncomfortable.

Yes, you can do that. You can leave before they cut the cake. Your sobriety is the most important thing. Everyone else will be focused on the happy couple, or on their own good time. If you leave early, my bet is that no one would even notice.

Bring along some phone numbers of sober friends. Just in case you need reinforcement.

Practice saying, "Just plain coke, please," or "Just plain soda water with a twist." Practice saying, "No, thanks, I'm good"--while holding up your glass of soda when it's time for the toast or if you are offered champagne.

If people ask why you aren't drinking, have an answer ready. My usual response is, "I decided it isn't good for me." Period. No further explanation necessary.

If you know someone who is going, who doesn't drink, hang around with that person as much as possible. Concentrate on the conversation, the music, the food. It will feel weird. You will survive it.

Thanks guys, I'm pretty close to the gang ill be hanging with, we have been friends for over 20 yrs , so I can be straight up with them.
Guess ill just NOT DRINK !!!!
L

This is the best one, but it can be dual purpose! When I was sober several years ago, I became the DD (designated driver) for all the outings and stuff that I knew I couldn't drink at, but wanted to go to.

Consider talking to your friends and asking them how are they getting there and if they'd prefer, how bout a lift from you?

Great way to get "off the hook" for drinking and you could save someone's life!

Don't drink.....Dance! That's how I made it through my own daughter's wedding. I danced all night, had a blast being sober, and remembered it all the next day!

Write down prior to the wedding what you'll think of yourself if you drink - write how disappointed/depressed/angry etc you will be that you chose to make that decision. Then tape that thing you write to your bathroom mirror or refrigerator or somewhere you'll be forced to read it the next day, and then while at the wedding, if you're tempted, think about having to read that with a hangover.

Always have a non-alcoholic drink in your hand.

I agree. I always have a plan in case I have to leave. I refuse to stay anywhere if I don't feel comfortable.

If I even felt uncomfortable with thoughts of going to the reception I wouldn't even go. Our sobriety has to come FIRST, no matter what. I am not obligated or willing to throw my sobriety away for anyone.

Thanks guys.
I am going to drive and will drive others . Check
Love the camera plan. Think ill dig out my film slr and take some with that.
I think it might be surprisingly good Bc normally I have to plan how I'm going to drink so I don't get too smashed. At least this way all that worry is gone !
Ill let you know how it all goes.
Btw I have my friends beautiful silk dress to wear on the condition I'm not drinking and the only reason I can fit it is from loosing a few kilos from stopping drinking !

I NEVER hear anyone say this, but it's helped me. Avoid carbs.

I know people say they crave carbs in early sobriety and it's the body trying to replace the carbs they are no longer getting from booze..yup..but it keeps the cravings going, it's feeding the monster.

eat a lot of protein. Well, it has a huge effect on my moods, my cravings, my ability to make good decisions for myself. And when I go out...and eat carbs rather than my low carb diet at home, I find myself MUCH more vulnerable towards drinking...

In a situation where I am already nervous or a bit uncomfortable, staying away from carbs can really help me ride it out.

Great advice above! Hope you have a wonderful time!

Few more from me....

Play with the kids. Dance with them. It can be scary for kids when the adults around them are drunk, imo. They want someone clear-eyed to play with them, help them get food, get them a drink, and take them to the restroom. :)

Practice for the UH-OH moments....like shots being lined up on a bar or on a tray. You don't have to drink anything even if it's sprung on you! You could even "accidentally" spill it!

:)

I was a bridesmaid for my best friend on Saturday and it was the first wedding I'd been to during sobriety. I had a fab day and the worry beforehand and therefore planning was definitely worth it, I had a fair few people who expected me to call them if I needed them but I didn't. I was too busy having a good time xxx

These are really good suggestions I can use in my everyday life.

Thanks to the posters!

sounds like this time you'll actually be able to have fun, appreciate the love and joy that surrounds you for what it really is and take in the experience as a whole. Don't get caught without a FULL or mostly full non-alcoholic drink in hand or you'll find yourself being offered repeatedly. As for champagne toasts, just say it hurts your stomach and you'd rather not. Dance and have fun, as long as you are embracing what the wedding really symbolizes for your friends as a couple and don't mope around because you're not getting sauced like everyone else, people won't really notice that you're not drinking, and you won't make the same mistakes you did in the past. You can do it, Have fun :)

Believe it or not, there is a large segment of people who go to weddings and don't drink. They also can be lots of fun and often plan activities for the following day that they actually go through with.

You've already got some great responses...you know that I too have a wedding coming up in a couple months. My plan is to take great pics, enjoy the food and dessert (never actually ATE at a wedding when I was drinking lol) and I will leave when things start getting crazy which I imagine is about 10 pm. No after party for me! Just one more sober day under the belt to be proud of :)